Disgusting, Slovenly Pigs.

Ok, checkit:

I have this buddy of mine who I’ve mentioned time and time again. Pretty much a born again virgin (it’s been loooong), and a porn addict. He obviously likes the idea of sex, but seems scared by it.

Anyway, this guy has just begun renting a new place in the middle/uptown of my city that is actually nicknamed Yonge and Eligible. I have personally had some success picking up girls there, and it’s a fact that the chicks in this area are from affluent families, so they are well kept hotties.

I figure that the reason he’s even moving there is NOT for work, because it isn’t really accessible to the highway, which he needs to get to work. I assume it’s because it’s near a lot of bars, and that there are hot chicks around.

Now, his old place was not too far from this area, neither. I know a ton of girls who live around here, so I would always tell him that if he cleaned up his place, I’ll bring the chicks. But he never did clean the place.

The thing is, he’s a maaaajor slob. Quite often, you won’t find a single roll of toilet paper in the joint. His washroom is a mess, as is his kitchen. He never vacuums, and he uses everything, from cd jewel cases to macdonald’s cups to phlegm in and out his cigarettes. You know the type. 3 out of 4 times you look at him, his hand is down his pants.

Can anyone suggest me a good argument this time around for him to clean up his act? I have tried being brutal, funny, everything short of the “cue the Full House music because Danny Tanner needs to talk” method. Keep in mind that I can be very brutal when I want. I actually enjoy putting people down (outside of 12oz), but it seems to not affect this guy.

I’m sure some of you people have encountered this problem before with roommates and such. Any suggestions? This guy needs to get laid, and I need to bring girls back to his place when he's fully settled in.

tell him you have chlamydia. anything you have touched in his apartment is contaminated. in a week, clear the air by saying it was just a rash from switching laundry detergents and has already gone away. problem...SOLVED.

Being a porn addict is not helpful, constantly seeing others doing something you want to do but for personal reasons holding back from doing. Not a good mix.

My guess would be he is insecure and has a bad self image.

I say that cuz the conditions you are willing to live in are influenced by your self image, like girls say you can judge a man by how his car looks ... no I don’t mean if he has a dope ride on 21’s... i mean the interior if he had fast food cups from 3 weeks ago still in the cup holders.

Just putting effort into image for himself would improve the situation in my view. Not as far as trying to impress others but just enough to be happier with yourself. It works!! I have been working on this myself as of the past 2/3 months.

Try to confront him in a positive way and don’t rag on him and shit ... it may open him up to be more receptive to your suggestions.

Both excellent suggestions!

I hear you on the self image/respect thing. It's like feeling like a new man after you shower.

This guy, I heard, went camping on one of the hottest weekends of the summer, and didn't shower or jump in the lake once. It was so bad that the three people he gave rides up to the spot decided to find another way home because he smelled so bad.

Now, he's not always like this, and of course he'll shower before hitting the bar on a Friday. But you're correct about his car, which is his company van. It's disgusting. But hey, it's a work van, so i don't pay no mind.

I've told him that he WILL NOT get laid while he has this hygiene problem, but I think it just goes in one ear, out the other. He could be just a lazy fuck. I've known other people who are slobs, too. People with apartments in primo spots, where it'd be so easy to bring back bitches and have an orgy. But this guy is my friend, so I really want to figure out a way to help him.

So you're saying i try the Full House, emotional sit down scene? Hmmmm...

yeah, of course he's insecure. But still, I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to take a small step to try and cure that.

I don't see why anyone would want to live in a pig sty, actually. It's weird. The people I have come across who live like this - they just don't seem to mind. They think it's fine to live like a swine.

This particular guy's parents are friggin' neat freaks, though. Their house is always spotless. The plot thickens.

x - i got a homeboy thats dirty ass hell also, the nigga wont change man, for nothin. he act like it aint nothing to be constantly steppin over and around shit just ot move around the room. never ever aint no toilet paper in the house , but i dont use his nastyass contaminated bathroom anyway. they just dont WANT to change. you can't give em a reason or persuade them otherwise. it has to come from within themselves. usually a good chick will come along and he'll clean up his act for a minute, haircut, get a job, clean shit up, stock fridge , shit like that. but when she gone, he reverts back to the slob he was before. its crazy man, i dont get the psychology of it.

haha, yeah, I've stepped on enough shit in his house. And he yells at me for stepping on his video game. Why the fuck is it on the floor under to Big Mac boxes, then?

Well, maybe he'll want to change now. After all, getting a new place is a time for change, right? You make a good point, though. People like that rarely do change, simply for the fact that they don't want to. I'd like to get to the root of the probelem, though.

Originally posted by Weapon X

 

So you're saying i try the Full House, emotional sit down scene? Hmmmm...

Not the family intervention style ... that would put him on the defensive right away ... just friendly suggestions.

If he is that tight of a boy to you, take the testosterone out of it and tell him you care and it bumms you out to see him lacking a lady.

Originally posted by Weapon X

haha, yeah, I've stepped on enough shit in his house. And he yells at me for stepping on his video game. Why the fuck is it on the floor under to Big Mac boxes, then?

fuck i think our friends are seperated at birth twins, shit is eerily the same. also like you said up top somewhere, his mom is maaad clean and shit, house never wrecked. the plot thickens, indeed.

if he is a close friend yes help his sorry ass. but like if he just seems not

to care... maby thats it. he is not worried about it. he is just a waist of

your time to try to help him. i dont mean to be such a dick. but i have

good friends like this. and they dont really care and they know that they

are not gunna get laied. so really ask him if he wants to get laied,

because we know all guys do. but does he really wanna try, and is it a

must do thing. if so you have to make it away to him. tell him if he

applys himself to somethin like gettin a chick then he can do it. thats my

2cents. i wanted to say more but i forgot.

if he's not willing to change, so be it. let the pig sit in his filth. what you do is find a lady that suits his life style. get some sloppy, stank, pig hybrid sweetie from the wrong side of the tracks and set them up. either you'll be king cupid or you'll give home boy some insight in what he's doing to himself. by introducing your friend to a female version of himself, maybe he'll see himself through a respectable girls eyes and see what his is........... is gross.

Originally posted by tour

if he's not willing to change, so be it. let the pig sit in his filth. what you do is find a lady that suits his life style. get some sloppy, stank, pig hybrid sweetie from the wrong side of the tracks and set them up. either you'll be king cupid or you'll give home boy some insight in what he's doing to himself. by introducing your friend to a female version of himself, maybe he'll see himself through a respectable girls eyes and see what his is........... is gross.

You guys all make valid points.

The point is more than just trying to get him laid, though. At this new place of his, there will be ample opportunity for me to get laid, as well. IF he keeps his place clean.

Because I'm not THAT good a friend. Sure, I care about his lifestyle and such, but I'm trying to look out for mines, gnomesayin'?

:cool:

i don't get it; so you use his place to get your mack on?

Originally posted by Weapon X

Because I'm not THAT good a friend. Sure, I care about his lifestyle and such, but I'm trying to look out for mines, gnomesayin'?

:cool:

There are no such things as selfless acts.

Anything you do ...even if it is for the most part for someone else you will get pleasure from hooking them up.

If that’s your aim ... hook him up and tell him you will help him clean up like once a week, Thursday night or Friday afternoon ... if you want the end result you need to put out the effort, ya heard?!?!?

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http://www.kak.ru/images/archive/17/stroganovka/2kurs/DSC00446.jpg'>

introduce her to this woman:

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isn't there some show on now where they look for the house or apartment that is super messy?If so take pictures and send in they will clean ur boys place up for free