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depression... inspired by chickenbone

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by META, Dec 4, 2001.

  1. META

    META New Jack

    Joined: Nov 8, 2001 Messages: 22 Likes Received: 0
    i thought i would start a new thread because chickenbone said his situation was resolved. that rules man! but that still leaves the rest of us with shit on our backs. i have had lots of experiences with suicide. my mom tried to kill herself multiple times, my best friends mom killed herself, my pseudo-girlfriend almost killed herself till i talked her out of it... and then there is me. 3 attempts and counting. ive been thru some hard fucking times. im not saying all this to try to get people to feel bad for me, but i wrestle with this shit everyday and a GOOD amount of the time i seriously want to die. i know that its stupid and its a really weak thing to do, but when i get in those moods, none of that logic means shit. its been a week since i hurt myself but thats just because people started noticing. i have to go to a shrink once a week. i figure if im going to try to end it again, id better not fuck it up because there would be consequences- probly hospitalization, and its attributed shame and guilt. i dont know why im writing this. i guess its because i dont like attention from people who know me, but on here were all equals, and we dont have to look eachother in the eyes.
     
  2. GorbortOrman

    GorbortOrman Guest

    I've thought about it alot. I would go for a gun, if there was no gun, I'd try and find pills to O.D. on, but im in a happy state right now. Usually I get depressed in the winter...
     
  3. dosoner

    dosoner Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 8, 2000 Messages: 3,735 Likes Received: 26
    chemicals cured my depression, or so it seems for the last two months.




    life is fun
     
  4. I would, of course, choose death by boogie hands, but it appears not to be an option on your list. Beer,

    El Mamerro
     
  5. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    brain death by prozac....the story of my life....
     
  6. usedtolove

    usedtolove New Jack

    Joined: Sep 19, 2001 Messages: 48 Likes Received: 0
    "it aint no secret im depressed,been that way since biggie caught bullets in the flesh" true boogie

    i would go with the gun..seems like the most logical choice
     
  7. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    fuck a gun.. that's like a sucka.
    go for the building.. you get a thrill. and you get to fuck w/ madd people... do it during rush hour, and hold up madd cats.. they'll be all pissy and complaining, and then feel like chumps cause you're dead.

    or carbon monoxide.... just fall asleep and never wake up.

    but chemicals dont cure depression... simply the symptoms
     
  8. META

    META New Jack

    Joined: Nov 8, 2001 Messages: 22 Likes Received: 0
    so true.
     
  9. imported_splint2

    imported_splint2 Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 14, 2001 Messages: 1,571 Likes Received: 10
    my closest cousin commited suicide. this soon led to me attempting it a couple times, usually with the blade or pills

    Vanity has it right on
     
  10. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 7, 2001 Messages: 3,638 Likes Received: 1
    i might spark a whole lot of controversy here, andI don't mean to trivialize real experiences, buttt.....
    how do you "try" to commit suicide. I think if I REALLY wanted to die, I would just die, and i don't see how hard it is to do that. Every time I walk into the street I could choose to die and throw myself into a car or something....
    it just SEEMS to frinky that unless you don't really really want to die, like you have doubts, then it shouldn't be that hard to kill yourself.
    just a thought.
    enlighten me and prove me wrong.
     
  11. META

    META New Jack

    Joined: Nov 8, 2001 Messages: 22 Likes Received: 0
    re: frink

    when i have tried in the past i cut myself pretty deep, but not deep enough i guess. i bleed for a few hours but it didnt kill me, and i was too afraid of going to the hospital. i guess i could have just kept going deeper and deeper, but you get to this weird numb mindset that i cant explain. then i just passed out.

    ...so you wake up and pull your collar up to face the cold again.
    pray it was all a dream maybe. i dunno. i guess im just weak.







    goddamn this voice in my head-- nin
     
  12. imported_splint2

    imported_splint2 Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 14, 2001 Messages: 1,571 Likes Received: 10
    well frink...mine is sort of like demos situation. i would slit my wrists, vertical, horizontal, whatever and just go to a place where i thought people would never look. luckily, my girl friend at that time cared a whole lot, and would always check up on me, right in the middle of bleeding all over and and almost passed out from prescription medicine.

    though, it would be a lie to say that i didnt have any doubts, of course i did, but i didnt act on the doubts, and allowed stuff to go further...i was fucked, as of no i still am to a degree, and realize i was wrong.
     
  13. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    aaaahhhh...but thats the best part!!! im chemically dependant until the day because of something i was born with!!! thats awesome!!!:)

    god....just thinking about the concept of that makes me want to shoot myself....

    not really but still....
     
  14. dosoner

    dosoner Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 8, 2000 Messages: 3,735 Likes Received: 26
    i feel the need to clear somthing up. i dont have any disorders or anything that causes me to be depressed, just went threw some hard times, and friends and controled drug abuse helped me straighten my shit out.
     
  15. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 7, 2001 Messages: 3,638 Likes Received: 1
    like i said, i didn't mean to disrespect or trivialize anyones problems. But do you guys understand what I mean? Thanks for sharing your stories....
     
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