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Dave Letterman SUPER THREAD!!!

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Butterscotch, Feb 6, 2003.

  1. Butterscotch

    Butterscotch New Jack

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 8 Likes Received: 1

    A fan of dave letterman? why not? Got any good top ten quotes? or complaints about the angle grinding girl? Post'em.

  2. Butterscotch

    Butterscotch New Jack

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 8 Likes Received: 1
    Courtesy of CBS

    Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Supermarket

    10. "My uncle ate that crap once. Two weeks later, he was dead"

    9. "Wanna feel me to see if I'm ripe?"

    8. "Did I ever tell you about the time I nailed Sara Lee?"

    7. "I can give you a good deal on some bald eagle meat"

    6. "J. Lo engaged? That two-timing bitch!"

    5. "This'll be perfect to hide that hitchhiker I killed"

    4. "If I count more than 10 items, so help me, I'll beat you with a French bread"

    3. "Security! It's Winona!"

    2. "Does this taste funny?"

    1. "Clean-up, aisle 4!"
  3. Butterscotch

    Butterscotch New Jack

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 8 Likes Received: 1
  4. Butterscotch

    Butterscotch New Jack

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 8 Likes Received: 1
    Top Ten President Clinton Pick-Up Lines

    10. I bet you could use some hillbilly lovin'

    9. Ever done it in a jacuzzi full of gravy?

    8. How would you like to become a minor footnote to history?

    7. I want you so bad, it's worth the inevitable multi-million dollar lawsuit

    6. For a Secretary of State, you've got a great ass

    5. Is your husband really fulfilling your needs, Mrs. Yeltsin?

    4. My wife's going to jail. Wanna party?

    3. Do you take Visa?

    2. I just ratified a bill -- how would you like to gratify a Bill?"

    1. Let's McDo it!"
  5. aichs47

    aichs47 Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 1,387 Likes Received: 2
    personally i like the old guys show, way better than that big chin bitch on the other station!!

    KING BLING Guest

    Top Ten Ways Bush Can Raise His Approval Rating

    10. End controversial "tax cuts for jerks" program

    9. Build a giant Saddam Hussein doll, take it out to the White House lawn and beat it up

    8. Make film about his wild days hosting "The Gong Show"

    7. Presidential pardon for Diana Ross

    6. Use more adorable mispronunciations like "aminal" and "pasghetti"

    5. Pressue the FDA to make salty snack chips the main food group

    4. Develop a catch phrase, like, "What you talkin' about, Kim Jong Il?"

    3. Find Osama Bin Laden

    2. Let America know White House has the loosest slots in town

    1. Find Dick Cheney

    Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is Making Clones

    10. You admire his dog. Offers to make you one

    9. Toll collector spotted four of him in the carpool lane

    8. Always at Kinko's studying the equipment

    7. He's an unmarried scientist with 53 sons

    6. You're pretty sure you saw Einstein, Lincoln and Heidi Klum lounging around his pool

    5. The clumsy attempts to make his kids look different using hats

    4. When your wife has twins, he howls, "Amateur"

    3. On hot summer days, neighbor kid sets up a Clonaid stand

    2. His son's birthday cake reads, "Happy Somatic Cell Genetic Mutation Day Darren!"

    1. You look out your window and you see you washing his car

    Top Ten Demands Of The Striking Strippers

    10. No more than three girls in a club named "Brandi"

    9. Less leering, more ogling

    8. As an "essental public service provider," automatic exemption from jury duty

    7. "If we work a bachelor party, we should be invited to the wedding"

    6. Professional courtesy at strip malls

    5. Grievances handled by well-toned, semi-nude arbitrators

    4. 20 percent discount for family

    3. Garter insurance

    2. Create a workplace free of sexual harassment

    1. Heated poles
  7. Obsessed

    Obsessed Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 3, 2001 Messages: 165 Likes Received: 0
    oh fuck david and his homoerotic show of crap
    talentless bastard with his 'top ten' lists and tired 'comedy'
    but what can you expect from a station geared towards people
    who are either senile or wear depends undergarments, not much.
    and yes paul is gay, how do you think david got that gap in his teeth?

    thats right folks you now know the truth
    now turn the channel and watch something worthwhile