Dave Letterman SUPER THREAD!!!

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A fan of dave letterman? why not? Got any good top ten quotes? or complaints about the angle grinding girl? Post'em.

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Courtesy of CBS

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Supermarket

10. "My uncle ate that crap once. Two weeks later, he was dead"

9. "Wanna feel me to see if I'm ripe?"

8. "Did I ever tell you about the time I nailed Sara Lee?"

7. "I can give you a good deal on some bald eagle meat"

6. "J. Lo engaged? That two-timing bitch!"

5. "This'll be perfect to hide that hitchhiker I killed"

4. "If I count more than 10 items, so help me, I'll beat you with a French bread"

3. "Security! It's Winona!"

2. "Does this taste funny?"

1. "Clean-up, aisle 4!"

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Top Ten President Clinton Pick-Up Lines

10. I bet you could use some hillbilly lovin'

9. Ever done it in a jacuzzi full of gravy?

8. How would you like to become a minor footnote to history?

7. I want you so bad, it's worth the inevitable multi-million dollar lawsuit

6. For a Secretary of State, you've got a great ass

5. Is your husband really fulfilling your needs, Mrs. Yeltsin?

4. My wife's going to jail. Wanna party?

3. Do you take Visa?

2. I just ratified a bill -- how would you like to gratify a Bill?"

1. Let's McDo it!"

personally i like the old guys show, way better than that big chin bitch on the other station!!

Top Ten Ways Bush Can Raise His Approval Rating

10. End controversial "tax cuts for jerks" program

9. Build a giant Saddam Hussein doll, take it out to the White House lawn and beat it up

8. Make film about his wild days hosting "The Gong Show"

7. Presidential pardon for Diana Ross

6. Use more adorable mispronunciations like "aminal" and "pasghetti"

5. Pressue the FDA to make salty snack chips the main food group

4. Develop a catch phrase, like, "What you talkin' about, Kim Jong Il?"

3. Find Osama Bin Laden

2. Let America know White House has the loosest slots in town

1. Find Dick Cheney

Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor Is Making Clones

10. You admire his dog. Offers to make you one

9. Toll collector spotted four of him in the carpool lane

8. Always at Kinko's studying the equipment

7. He's an unmarried scientist with 53 sons

6. You're pretty sure you saw Einstein, Lincoln and Heidi Klum lounging around his pool

5. The clumsy attempts to make his kids look different using hats

4. When your wife has twins, he howls, "Amateur"

3. On hot summer days, neighbor kid sets up a Clonaid stand

2. His son's birthday cake reads, "Happy Somatic Cell Genetic Mutation Day Darren!"

1. You look out your window and you see you washing his car

Top Ten Demands Of The Striking Strippers

10. No more than three girls in a club named "Brandi"

9. Less leering, more ogling

8. As an "essental public service provider," automatic exemption from jury duty

7. "If we work a bachelor party, we should be invited to the wedding"

6. Professional courtesy at strip malls

5. Grievances handled by well-toned, semi-nude arbitrators

4. 20 percent discount for family

3. Garter insurance

2. Create a workplace free of sexual harassment

1. Heated poles

oh fuck david and his homoerotic show of crap

talentless bastard with his 'top ten' lists and tired 'comedy'

but what can you expect from a station geared towards people

who are either senile or wear depends undergarments, not much.

and yes paul is gay, how do you think david got that gap in his teeth?

thats right folks you now know the truth

now turn the channel and watch something worthwhile