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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by imported_Tesseract, Dec 16, 2005.

  1. So i return home after a long day and a longer traffic jam. Walk to the elevator and the fuckin thing is jammed, sometimes the door doesnt close properly on the first floor i think to my self and take the stairs up. I reach first floor i see the door closed but theres light coming from inside, i open the door and boom! A 70 year old lady, collapsed on the floor, puke all over the place and the most bizarre suffocating noise i've ever heard. I start talking at her but she doesnt respond at all. Now, i'm pretty tall, 26 years old and doing some sports but i never, never thought that carrying an unconsious body would be so fuckin difficult. There was this small old lady who felt like she weight a ton. I didnt get a good grip at first cause i thought it was gonna be easy to get her lying staright on the floor before i call somebody and because, dude, i didnt wanna get upclose and personal with all that vomit. After seeing that light grips dont cut it, i said fuck it, turned her a bit around, grabbed her full on under the armpits, her head came next to mine and my hands where now officially full of puke. That sucked, but it worked nonetheless. So there i had her, lying down, with the books i was carrying to lift her head a bit higher, when i remembered that theres a doc on floor 1. Poor lady was on the way to her doctor and she fuckin had a stroke or something in the elevator, so ironic. I run to the door, call the doctor out and to my surprise dude flips out bigtime, OMG! WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!? WAIT! WAIT, NO NO WAIT, LET ME CHECK HER PULSE, LET ME CALL EMERGENCY...dude was totally hysterical, anyway he runs to get his stethoscope listens to the old ladies heartbeat and tells me to stay by her so he can call emergency. So there i was, sitting on the floor next to her, my hands in puke, she's a fuckin mess and she looks like she's sleeping and snorting really bad...it felt so weird, so really really weird being right next to her at that time. 1 minute later doc comes back, we grab her, take her in the office couch and wait for the ambulance.
    Those 3 minutes that the whole thing lasted where completely fucked.
    Hope you'll be fine old lady, what a great way to start a weekend.
  2. im not witty

    im not witty Guest

    thats pretty fucked that the dr flipped out. good looking on the rescue mission though.
  3. nuyorican

    nuyorican Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2005 Messages: 163 Likes Received: 0
    was everyone talking in greek at the time?
  4. The lady was half eskimo-half japanese as it looked so we had to adjust when talking to her.

    *edit: you stupid cunt
  5. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    Was it good for you?
  6. Tough Love

    Tough Love Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 10, 2004 Messages: 1,894 Likes Received: 2
    woah...ur a hero dude

    BURLAP Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2004 Messages: 307 Likes Received: 0
    last year on the ferry some lady had a seizure right in front of me, in front of a
    shitload of people. she grabbed my arm when it happened and that shit was gripped
    tight. i stood there like a complete idiot. i'll never forget her fucked up seizure face.
  8. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    Hahaa "seeizure face" amazing.
  9. Was it good for you?
    [post=4219122]Quoted post[/post]​

    I forgot to mention that the doc lifted her blouse to hear her heart, you know that thing right behind her left breast....need i say more?
  10. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    I was going to type something foul, but thn I thought.
    I hope that old lady who puked and had some kind of dreadful funny turn is OK and getting better.
  11. flatliner

    flatliner Junior Member

    Joined: Mar 9, 2005 Messages: 132 Likes Received: 0
    Word to the collapsed body weighing a ton! I was once at a party and some anorexic girl had collapsed, and her friends said that when this hapoens, its some kind of fit and we should call and ambulance.. but she had collapsed outside the house, and my mates were trying to carry her (Bare in mind she was anorexic so very skinny and also only 17) and they were pissed and couldent do it. Now I was high, but I felt strong and able, and I aint weak. So I take her. FUCK ME she was heavy.. I had to carry her all the way into the house, where everyone was like "Just let her sleep she will be fine etc etc " so I just did it.. but shit hit the fan, they said fuck the ambulance call her perants they know what to do.. anyway a lot more happened I would rather not go into, but yeh.. unconcious people are HEAVY.

    Good moves man, a lot of heads would have kept walking and thats not on. Peace
  12. BURLAP

    BURLAP Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2004 Messages: 307 Likes Received: 0
    so...no perveract shots eh bro?
  13. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    Called a dead weight. They are not very cooperative and you have to get em by the pits like tess did and maneuver the weight to your advantage.
  14. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    did you cop a feel?

    i know you did.

    so how does a 70 year old greek snatch feel like?

    good job though, yeah the vomit must have been nasty i know you took a 2 hopur shower after that i know i would have.
  15. Some1

    Some1 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 13, 2001 Messages: 14,836 Likes Received: 93