Cup-O-Pizza Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 Here are some horrible jokes I've made up over the years: Q: What do you need to have a really good art collection? A: Monet! (you have to rub your thumb and pointer finger together when you say it) ------------------------------------------------------- I was talking to this guy at Circuit City and he was taking a CD player back for a refund. I asked him why and he said "Dude, i'm taking it back because every single SONY CD player is wack yo. None of them work right". I said "That's just a sterotype". -------------------------------------------------------- Do you know why my uncle got kicked out of the Armed Forces? He lost both of his arms. Then he was a foot soldier in the Army until he lost both his legs. He was disgraced. He said he would have kicked himself out, but he...didnt have any legs. --------------------------------------------------------- Q:What do you call a fruit that's afraid to get married without permission? A: A Can't-Elope ------------------------------------------------------------ Q: What do you call a 100,000,000 Watt Lightbulb on the sun? A: A bright idea ---------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What does Dracula get in the morning at a bed and breakfast? A: Neck-fest-in-bed ---------------------------------------------------------------- (these next 2 are horrible) Q: Was Jesus better known for his sense of humor, or being the king of the Jews? A: Both. He was always JewKing. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do dogs talk to each other long distance? A: The telebone. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey lets make like a priest and get the hell out of here. -------------------------------------------------------------------- So yeah. I decided to make a "Worst Jokes of All Time" book. Any submissions would be greatly appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seppuku Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 "the telebone" .....classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bug Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? Dam! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 monet !:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WISE Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 whats the last thing to go thru a fly's mind as it hits the windshield? his ASS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cup-O-Pizza Posted July 23, 2002 Author Share Posted July 23, 2002 these are all brilliant. i didnt make these up but theyre right up my alley. What do you call a dear with no eyes? I have No-Eye-Deer what do you call a deer with no eyes or LEGS? Still no-eye-deer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledzep Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 why is dracula a vegeterian? because he keeps away from stakes. Why are lollipops bad at boxing? Because they always get licked. What do you call a grahm craker that robs banks? a safe cracker. How do you turn a tomato into squash? throw it up in the air and it comes down SQUASH! and, the worst one ever... Who was the Greek conquerer who loved fruits? Alexander the Grape. :lol:... :( no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 what do u call a dinosaur with one eye?? do-u-think-he-saw-us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest THEdude Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 LOL the best (NO APPLAUSE NEEDED):) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted July 24, 2002 Share Posted July 24, 2002 ^^wtf u ona bout? whose joke? mine? ahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
test pattern Posted July 24, 2002 Share Posted July 24, 2002 Originally posted by Cup-O-Pizza Hey lets make like a priest and get the hell out of here. :lol:!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest THEdude Posted July 24, 2002 Share Posted July 24, 2002 all the jokes dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CIPHER_one Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 what's the definition of embarassment? running at a wall with a hard on and breaking your nose first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeforAnEYE Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 lame ass joke right here. What was the last thing to go through kurt cobains mind? his teeth. Lame. sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gooch Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 Q. What is long, tubular and holds semen? A. a submarine Q. What was the only known lesbian dinosaurs name? A. lickalotapuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MineWonr Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 Q: Why do jews have Big Noses? A: Cuz the Air is Free! ...I got nothing against jews, but i thought that shit was pretty funny.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 haha, jew jokes. how do you know you're at a jew's house....? there's toilet paper on the clothes line :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiseguy Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 whats brown and sticky? a stick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbastard Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 a sandwhich walks into a bar and the bar tender says "sorry we dont serve food here" a man walks into a bar with a giraffe and ties it to a table while ordering a drink, the bartender says "hey you cant leave that lyin there" the man replies "no its not a lion its a giraffe. boodoom chshhh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kemekill Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 Originally posted by wiseguy whats brown and sticky? a stick! HAHAHA :):) Ah man this shit is funny, it's like those fuckin pop cicles with jokes on the stick, or Laffy Taffy I guess. This one doesn't make too much sense, but it's the oldest joke I know: What did the acorn say when he grew up? ...GEOMETRY! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soccer Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 k well my friend told me this joke and i laughed alot! so i thot u guys might find this sorta funny altho it makes fun of "special" people. but newas here it is Q. Whats better then winning gold at the special olympics? A. Not being retarded!! And im sorry if that offense neone, i dont mine 2 be mean! I just find it sorta funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CinchedWaist Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 how do you make a tissue dance? put a little boogie in it sorry, mad corny but one of my favorite jokes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Originally posted by soccer Q. Whats better then winning gold at the special olympics? A. Not being retarded!! Your friend took his joke from one of the most widely distributed pictures ever to be posted on web-forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrUnk MoNKeY Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElectricitySucks Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 ok so its a school dance and everyone is dancing. but 2 people, arent dancing. one boy with a wooden eye is sitting down and a girl with big ears is sitting down also. so one of the friends of the kid with the wooden eye goes up to him and asks, "hey, why dont you dance with that girl over there?" so he thinks it over and decides to walk over to the one girl sitting, with big ears. so he gets over to her and says "would you like to dance?" she says "WOULD I???!!!!" he looks at her and and yells at her and runs away screaming "BIG EARS! BIG EARS! BIG EARS!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CIPHER_one Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 What happened to the Indian that drank too much tea? He drowned in his tea pee!!H!HShahrharhar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahyoulose Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Q: why did the oyester not share his pearls? A: cuz he's shellfish!!!! Q: what do you get when you mix an elephant and a fish? A: swimming trunks! more.... i love these jokes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRAMPS Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 hahaha bump, i made this joke up when i was 5, and i thought it was the best joke ever...and i told it to everyone i knew.....a BUNCH of times:lol: Why was the fly so suprized? because the FLY ATE THE FROG!!!! *rim shot* ha.....haha......ha....:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.