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Crashing Film Sets with your host Kilo7-

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by --zeSto--, Sep 15, 2003.

  1. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2

    So you've always wanted to get into the film biz right?
    Well here's a better way to do it without having to actually
    work hard or wake up at ungodly hours in the morning.

    First you look for one of these...
    That's a sure sign that people are making some kind of filmic thingy
    in close proximity. There may be guards to keep you away but just
    pretend to talk into your cell phone like you're too busy to listen and
    you can slide right by them. They're only working schmoes and they
    dont want to risk pissing off an important/imposter like you.

    ^This is called the 'camp' where all the important people hang out.
    It's usually a little distance from the action and filled with fat cats.
    This particular guy sitting down is the sound recordist. Use words like
    'boom mic' and 'foley' with him. They're usually always good to imposters.
    That old guy is probably saying [i]'lavalier, pro-tools, da88, free food?'[/i]

    ^Here's the rest of the camp. All the chairs are accounted for and most
    people even have personal assistants in there. This is the high court of
    the set and should be avoided. They do not take kindly to strangers.

    ^ Now this is where the action is!
    Get right up close to the talent (actors like to be called talent these days)
    and mingle. Unless the actor is in the shot or getting attacked by the hair
    / makeup crew they are probably bored out of their minds. It's always
    good to start off with something like 'I think I've seen you in a spot before.'
    (commercials are called 'spots' these days). See that pretty girl in the tan
    shirt? Well she was just dying for someone to talk to. Kilo7 is always a giver.

    Here's the product. It's a 2005 Volvo and one hell of a sexy car.
    Do not touch the car because it's usually covered in a super shiny
    wax that makes it look well... shinny. In this biz shine=sex.
    Remember that.

    Now here's the big payola.
    When the cute craft service (food) girl comes around, make sure you act
    extra nice to her. No one wants to do craft services, it's like being 'cabin
    boy' in Pirate times. So if you treat her nice she'll give you a sandwich
    and maybe even a cappuchino if you really work it. However DO NOT go
    into the craft truck or the dinning tent as you will get busted by someone.
    Just wait untill they tour around. That's why it's better to stand near the talent
    because the craft girls are usually afraid of the fat cat producers too.

    So I hope you've had fun crashing a film set with me, but remember...
    [color=gold]I only do this when I'm not directing[/color]


    * and a special thanks to my proof-reader. We'll make you a star.
  2. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2

    I'd like to thank all the little people who made this thread possible.
  3. ubejinxed

    ubejinxed Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 7,543 Likes Received: 3
    ahha. your neighborhood is always poppin. it would be good if you could sneak your head in or something into the "spot".

    kilo just tell em your family name and you're all good right?

    whoah here he comes ...
  4. hahahaha, fuckin awesome!!!

    Kilo is preparing kids for the Real Life...dolce vita bro!!!
  5. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    oh no you didnt!

    that's for private screenings only!
  6. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
  7. yoink

    yoink Elite Member

    Joined: May 27, 2002 Messages: 3,428 Likes Received: 0
    threads like this are why I keep coming back.

    good work Kilo. ill have to try that sometime.
  8. $360

    $360 Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 2, 2002 Messages: 2,600 Likes Received: 1
    2nd that

    very valubule info Kilo, thank you.
  9. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    well thanks yoinkers. I feel an obligation to keep some quality in this fourm.
  10. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 235
    i very frequently utilize the 'on an important call' technique when racking. it makes it much easier to just walk out the door looking inconspiquous when you're 'doing something', or appear to have an agenda. plus, if someone hassles you, you can just look at them like 'dude, cant you see im fucking busy' and bounce.

    some guy wrote a book a few years ago about how to get into any event for free. he even snuck into the white house, and handed the president a copy of his book. it was a big media thing. i dont remember his name.
  11. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    I believe his former alias was something like 'mesto'? or maybe 'pesto'?
  12. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 28


    You've GOT to gank one of those FILM cones for me. I'll give you the funds to ship it to me.
  13. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2

    my roomate works locations so I can get them easy.
    cost might be a bitch but I can look into it.
  14. Sarah Tonin

    Sarah Tonin Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 1,946 Likes Received: 1
  15. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    ha-ha...just awesome.

    I've found the important mobile call technique works very well paired with the quick glance and index finger in the air (suggesting...I'm very important, but I see you jumping up and down like an idiot...so I'll tell you to fuck off in a moment).

    fuck ganking one of those cones...stencil and a black marker...all of a sudden your in bidness.