seeking Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 a year ago i was a tour manager 6 months ago i was a bouncer. 2 months ago i was a web designer. now i'm an accountant. my job history section of my resume is hillarious. just thought someone might find me being an accountant as funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 "just thought someone might find me being an accountant as funny" funny is not quite the term i would use, i was thinking of "really fucking scary" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8lover Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 part of the accountz receevable posse? or those accounts payabo fools? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 Originally posted by E MARTYR i hated accounting in school, class tore me up, got a F in it. i need to be looking for some jobs, im a fucking idiot. letting my dad down and what not... :cry2: what? accounting was only second to art class in the easiest classes in the world line up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 Originally posted by E MARTYR im a fucking idiot. letting my dad down and what not... :cry2: tease, you're letting all of humanity down. fr8lover, payaboo, fool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GnomeToys Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 My job history has gone something like this: Freelance Computer Repair / Web Design - 5 years ago Night Supervisor @ Homeless Shelter - 4 years ago Resnet Consultant for the girl's dorms - 3-4 years ago Information Center Operator - 1-3 years ago Digital Media Consultant - Present The sad part is that I fucking hate working with computers. :crazy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
king kong Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 i use to have a job assisting accountants... and i got liek 20 dollahs an hour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveAustin Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 http://www.ronkaufman.com/images/media/rksuitp_72_3x5.jpg'> I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or feel sorry. Do you have to dress like this now? I think I'm with Mental on this one...fucking scary. Hope the moneys right...good luck man. I couldn't swing that job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diggity Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 dont even mention accounting or taxes, freelancing is gonna leave me in a rough spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 thats funny. im doing the exact same thing. i graduated with an english degree last year and ive been working as an accountant for about 3 weeks. whats really funny is i never took a single business class and now im all up in some accounts receeeeeeeevable. a fucking monkey could do my job. if you can read, you can be an accountant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 http://pics.fotango.com/pictures/0400406792_001P.jpg'> By Herbert Kornfeld Accounts Receivable Supervisor Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, bruthahs 'n' sistahs. H-Dog here, His Stone Cold Baadness, The Original Gangsta, The Mack Daddy, The Freaky Gangbanga. And I got somethin' to say to all y'all bitches out there: Keep yo' motherfuckin' shit offa my desk, or I'll fuck your sorry ass up wit' a quickness. And I don't want to see y'all comin' around, puttin' your feet on it, neither. Or puttin' your goddamn coffee cups on it and leaving them fucked-up rings all upside the wood and shit. 'Cause I keep my fly shit on my desk. I gots my dope spreadsheets, my hangin' file folders, my delinquent-account file, my paper clips, my Post-It note dispenser, my monthly desk planner, my Midstate Office Supply business cards, my four-color ball-point pen, my motherfuckin' dot-matrix printer address labels, and my stoopid-fresh three-hole punch. Not to mention my computer. I swear, if I see any of y'all within three feet of my computer, I'll put a Lee Van Cleef on your bitch ass. I'll come at you like a mother fuck. I'm just trying to keep it real, know what I'm sayin'? I wanna stop the violence before it starts. I could say nothin' and wait in the shadows like some motherfuckin' ninja, and when some punk-ass temp worker come along and start readin' my "Attitude Is A Little Thing That Makes A Big Difference" Successories mouse pad, I could jump out and knock the sucka's teeth the fuck out. 'Cause that would be my right. A man's gotta protect what's his, right? Take what happened just last week. Judy Metzger, this li'l skank-ass ho from Accounts Payable, be runnin' her ass around the office, puttin' cupcakes wit' the goddamn smiley faces and shit on people's desks. I'm like, "Whus this smiley-face shit y'all be puttin' on my desk?" And she's like, "I made cupcakes for everyone in the office last night!" Now, I don't take shit from nobody, and I sure as hell don't take no shit from some bitch from Accounts Payable, so I picks up my letter opener and do some crazy kung-fu shit on her. "Flag yo' ass outta here, bitch, and keep yo' fuckin' cupcake shit offa my fly desk." She go runnin' out of the room and go gets her supervisor, Myron Schabe, from across the hall. Like I'm supposed to be scared of that. Myron older than shit and he wear bow ties like he Pee Wee Muthafuckin' Herman or somethin'. So then he come up to my cubicle and say, "Herbert, I think there's been a misunderstanding. It was Judy's turn this week to bring in a treat." I tell him I don't like no bitches from Accounts Payable puttin' no shit on my desk. But this Myron fool keep pushin' it, tellin' me: "It was meant as a nicety, Herbert, nothing else. It's Co-Worker Appreciation Month, and everybody's scheduled to bring in a treat. You yourself are signed up for next Wednesday." So you know what I tell him? I says, "I ain't gonna be bringing in no motherfuckin' treat, motherfucker. Treats is for old ladies in the nursing home and shit. And ain't nobody gonna be layin' they smiley-face bullshit on my dope fly desk. I gots everything where I want it, and ain't no little ho gonna be fuckin' it all up. So take yo' bitch-ass, bow-tie self and get the fuck out of my cubicle before I cut you, beee-yaatch!" After that, Myron walk out of there wit' his li'l dick between his legs. Ain't no Accounts Payable supervisor motherfucka gonna tell Herbert Kornfeld what to do. And no one else, for that matter. You put shit on my desk, you just signed your death warrant. I mean it. Heads will get flown. H-Dog out. And to all my homies in Accountz Reeceevable and the bruthahs kickin' it down in Shipping, keep ya heads up. Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 ive worked in a grocery store twice, as a ship builder, a sign writer, a glazier (glass man), a guitar shop , and now i work at a company doing their computer systems. the guitar shop was the best job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 Seeking, do you use MYOB for you job ? i actually set the company's system up where im at now, its so dull and boring the program is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diggity Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 Originally posted by im not witty if you can read, you can be an accountant. I wouldnt bank on that though, they have to pass a really hard test in order to get certified. when you as an accountant how many times he took it, you can use the same equation when asking a girl how many people shes slept with. X times 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanity Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 http://www.blueoasis.org/images/herbert_kornfeld.gif'> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 i hear you about being a real accountant.. im more of a temporary replacement. my job is basically.... "hey see these numbers? type them in here and make sure they match these numbers. repeat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbastard Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 but your a writer, and writers are not allowed to be smart/successful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted September 9, 2003 Author Share Posted September 9, 2003 Originally posted by im not witty i hear you about being a real accountant.. im more of a temporary replacement. my job is basically.... "hey see these numbers? type them in here and make sure they match these numbers. repeat." BINGO. basically, my job is just smashing my head against a wall over and over until the blood distorts my vision, or i go to lunch. its cool though, its temporary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 I've worked at Kookin Fuckin Chicken, Little Skeezer's, and some barbecue joint, the barbecue place was the worst. Other job histories include: Maytag man Neon sign technician Contract computer tech person I've worked on and cleaned AC systems and their ducts for corporations. (a crappy job that pays very well) Yard mower... etc. Pretty much, I hate clocking in and living a boring life that's the same day to day. So I try to keep some variety in what I do. I'm always asking mom and pop stores if they need any extra help. One can most definitely get by, and have some nice material things too, with enough contract labor jobs here and there... It's time for me to go get ready for work....bleh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im not witty Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 haha. oh man i feel you. this job is more like pushing the feed pellet in a science project than it is actual work. id rather be back in the warehouse lifting boxes. at least i can wear what i want. oh well, back to this lovely stack of checks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 more like you've found your calling. your ability to avoid paying any kinds of bills what so ever is borderline genius. an asset to any company on the rise :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metallix Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 this is obviously fascist http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/online/szyk/intro/media/89908z.jpg'> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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