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CPA ONER

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by seeking, Sep 8, 2003.

  1. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

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    CPA ONER

    Discussion started by seeking - Sep 8, 2003

    a year ago i was a tour manager
    6 months ago i was a bouncer.
    2 months ago i was a web designer.
    now i'm an accountant.

    my job history section of my resume is hillarious.


    just thought someone might find me being an accountant as funny.
     
    seeking - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  2. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

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    mental invalid - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    "just thought someone might find me being an accountant as funny"


    funny is not quite the term i would use, i was thinking of "really fucking scary"
     
    mental invalid - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  3. fr8lover

    fr8lover 12oz Elite Member

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    fr8lover - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    part of the accountz receevable posse? or those accounts payabo fools?
     
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  4. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

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    iloveboxcars - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    what? accounting was only second to art class in the easiest classes in the world line up.
     
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  5. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

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    seeking - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    tease, you're letting all of humanity down.

    fr8lover,
    payaboo, fool!
     
    seeking - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
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  6. GnomeToys

    GnomeToys 12oz Elite Member

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    GnomeToys - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    My job history has gone something like this:

    Freelance Computer Repair / Web Design - 5 years ago
    Night Supervisor @ Homeless Shelter - 4 years ago
    Resnet Consultant for the girl's dorms - 3-4 years ago
    Information Center Operator - 1-3 years ago
    Digital Media Consultant - Present

    The sad part is that I fucking hate working with computers.
    :crazy:
     
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  7. king kong

    king kong Banned

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    king kong - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    i use to have a job assisting accountants...

    and i got liek 20 dollahs an hour
     
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  8. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin 12oz Veteran Member

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    SteveAustin - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    http://www.ronkaufman.com/images/media/rksuitp_72_3x5.jpg'>

    I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or feel sorry. Do you have to dress like this now? I think I'm with Mental on this one...fucking scary. Hope the moneys right...good luck man. I couldn't swing that job.
     
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  9. diggity

    diggity Guest

    diggity - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    dont even mention accounting or taxes, freelancing is gonna leave me in a rough spot.
     
  10. im not witty

    im not witty Guest

    im not witty - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    thats funny. im doing the exact same thing. i graduated with an english degree last year and ive been working as an accountant for about 3 weeks. whats really funny is i never took a single business class and now im all up in some accounts receeeeeeeevable. a fucking monkey could do my job.

    if you can read, you can be an accountant.
     
  11. im not witty

    im not witty Guest

    im not witty - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    http://pics.fotango.com/pictures/0400406792_001P.jpg'>



    By Herbert Kornfeld
    Accounts Receivable Supervisor

    Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, bruthahs 'n' sistahs. H-Dog here, His Stone Cold Baadness, The Original Gangsta, The Mack Daddy, The Freaky Gangbanga. And I got somethin' to say to all y'all bitches out there: Keep yo' motherfuckin' shit offa my desk, or I'll fuck your sorry ass up wit' a quickness. And I don't want to see y'all comin' around, puttin' your feet on it, neither. Or puttin' your goddamn coffee cups on it and leaving them fucked-up rings all upside the wood and shit.

    'Cause I keep my fly shit on my desk. I gots my dope spreadsheets, my hangin' file folders, my delinquent-account file, my paper clips, my Post-It note dispenser, my monthly desk planner, my Midstate Office Supply business cards, my four-color ball-point pen, my motherfuckin' dot-matrix printer address labels, and my stoopid-fresh three-hole punch. Not to mention my computer. I swear, if I see any of y'all within three feet of my computer, I'll put a Lee Van Cleef on your bitch ass. I'll come at you like a mother fuck.

    I'm just trying to keep it real, know what I'm sayin'? I wanna stop the violence before it starts. I could say nothin' and wait in the shadows like some motherfuckin' ninja, and when some punk-ass temp worker come along and start readin' my "Attitude Is A Little Thing That Makes A Big Difference" Successories mouse pad, I could jump out and knock the sucka's teeth the fuck out. 'Cause that would be my right. A man's gotta protect what's his, right?

    Take what happened just last week. Judy Metzger, this li'l skank-ass ho from Accounts Payable, be runnin' her ass around the office, puttin' cupcakes wit' the goddamn smiley faces and shit on people's desks. I'm like, "Whus this smiley-face shit y'all be puttin' on my desk?" And she's like, "I made cupcakes for everyone in the office last night!"

    Now, I don't take shit from nobody, and I sure as hell don't take no shit from some bitch from Accounts Payable, so I picks up my letter opener and do some crazy kung-fu shit on her. "Flag yo' ass outta here, bitch, and keep yo' fuckin' cupcake shit offa my fly desk."

    She go runnin' out of the room and go gets her supervisor, Myron Schabe, from across the hall. Like I'm supposed to be scared of that. Myron older than shit and he wear bow ties like he Pee Wee Muthafuckin' Herman or somethin'. So then he come up to my cubicle and say, "Herbert, I think there's been a misunderstanding. It was Judy's turn this week to bring in a treat." I tell him I don't like no bitches from Accounts Payable puttin' no shit on my desk. But this Myron fool keep pushin' it, tellin' me: "It was meant as a nicety, Herbert, nothing else. It's Co-Worker Appreciation Month, and everybody's scheduled to bring in a treat. You yourself are signed up for next Wednesday."

    So you know what I tell him? I says, "I ain't gonna be bringing in no motherfuckin' treat, motherfucker. Treats is for old ladies in the nursing home and shit. And ain't nobody gonna be layin' they smiley-face bullshit on my dope fly desk. I gots everything where I want it, and ain't no little ho gonna be fuckin' it all up. So take yo' bitch-ass, bow-tie self and get the fuck out of my cubicle before I cut you, beee-yaatch!"

    After that, Myron walk out of there wit' his li'l dick between his legs. Ain't no Accounts Payable supervisor motherfucka gonna tell Herbert Kornfeld what to do. And no one else, for that matter. You put shit on my desk, you just signed your death warrant. I mean it. Heads will get flown.

    H-Dog out. And to all my homies in Accountz Reeceevable and the bruthahs kickin' it down in Shipping, keep ya heads up. Peace.
     
  12. krie

    krie Guest

    krie - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    ive worked in a grocery store twice, as a ship builder, a sign writer, a glazier (glass man), a guitar shop , and now i work at a company doing their computer systems. the guitar shop was the best job
     
  13. krie

    krie Guest

    krie - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    Seeking, do you use MYOB for you job ?

    i actually set the company's system up where im at now, its so dull and boring the program is.
     
  14. diggity

    diggity Guest

    diggity - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    I wouldnt bank on that though, they have to pass a really hard test in order to get certified. when you as an accountant how many times he took it, you can use the same equation when asking a girl how many people shes slept with.

    X times 3
     
  15. Vanity

    Vanity 12oz Veteran Member

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    Vanity - Replied Sep 8, 2003

    [​IMG]
     
    Vanity - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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