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Count's Corner


El Producto

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http://www.holymoly.co.uk/cc/

 

 

Friends - One day, a few billion years from now, the Sun will expand and then collapse, destroying the solar system.

 

And as the Earth is atomised Channel 4 will still be showing fucking Friends.

 

CUNTS.

 

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Celeb magazines - I would rather have both nipples roughly rubbed with a cheese grater than have to flip through one of these celeb cock sucking rags ever again. It should be a constant source of amusment to everyone on the planet that the most talented and supposedly intelligent women seem to spend years of their lives reading about people they'll never meet with the alleged intention of making their own lives better... cunts reading about cunts...

 

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Che Guevara t-shirt wearers - The last thing Che Guevara would want is to be on a fucking t-shirt with a large and undeserved mark-up price. Consider the irony you cunts, define your own personality and learn who the fuck Che Guevara is.

 

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Cher - Your music is shit, now shut the fuck up. you sound like a computer being sick and you have been singing since the early 19th century, now give it a rest. Maybe the next lot of plastic surgery she has, she will do us all a favour and get her shitty mouth filled in with the fat from he arse

 

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Thought some people might like this site.

 

 

EDIT* damnit, the title is supposed to read 'Cunt's Corner'. it has far more shock value. oh, well.

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Some of these are cool, but i wouldnt read anymore because of the incessant use of the words cunt shit bitch fuck and any variation thereof.

 

It hurts my head, i feel like im reading the same words over and over again.

 

But other than that, some of these are okay.

 

*edit: i like that che guevara one.

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Haha, funny.

 

 

 

Robert De Niro - Never has my image of an iconic superstar been so humiliatingly destroyed. Buddy comedies with Eddie Murphy? Cunt. Worse comedy with Billy Crystal? Cunt. Meet the fuckin' Parents? Cunt, cunt, cunt. You're a gangster and you know it Bob, so stop cunting around.

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Hahahaha

 

When you were young and impoverished you dreamt of the day you could afford an E-type, now that day has come so you shuffle down to your local sports car dealer and spunk your kids' inheritance on the flashest, reddest soft top you can afford, only problem now is you're too fucking old to drive the bastard. There is nothing flash about driving a car capable of 160mph at 27mph.

 

The flat cap and the cravat does not make you look like David Niven.

 

The 'little filly' you're smiling at when you stop at the lights doesn't think you're 'groovy'.

 

You're too fucking old to see me your rear view mirror willing you to veer off the road and wrap your wrinkly arse round a fucking tree. Problem is, you'd just bounce off cos you're not going fucking fast enough!

 

For fuck's sake buy a fucking Volvo or, better still, just fucking die you smelly old road hogging, oxygen thieving cunts.

 

And, when you do, can I have the car?

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Originally posted by El Producto@May 26 2005, 04:34 PM

Che Guevara t-shirt wearers - The last thing Che Guevara would want is to be on a fucking t-shirt with a large and undeserved mark-up price. Consider the irony you cunts, define your own personality and learn who the fuck Che Guevara is.

 

 

 

hahahaha yeah no shit, fucking trends, guevara got merked in little tiny raggedy school house in south america and the shit he stood for wasn't something he wanted to be represented by hipster homos that think it's cool to be part of a "cause".

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Muscled Cunt at the Gym

 

And I have a proper job to do that means I can't spend all day in here, taking steroids and watching the sweat glistening on the biceps of the personal trainer who you think is your friend, but hates you as much as the other cunts that try to impress him.

 

Oh... and another thing. When you spend 15 minutes standing stark bollock naked infront of the mirror doing your hair, people are going to look at you. In fact, you obviously want people to look at you. So don't be a cunt and talk to your shit-for-brains mate about all the "queer boys getting hard ons looking at you."

 

I hope that one of those "queer boys" rapes your arse until you bleed, and you can't leave the house with the shame, so your muscles shrivel and you can't face life without the one thing that made it worth living, you cuntfuck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ha ha ha

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The Bible

 

If you're going to write a good bit of fantasy fiction, at least put some goblins or trolls in it, you dumb cunts. Given the choice between this bollocks and the Lord of the Rings, which one do you think we're going to go for? The Bible with its bunch of bearded nomad hippies talking shite, or something with fucking battles and dragons?

 

And I think you're forgetting the first page, which should read: 'All characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to any real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental'.

 

I liked the bit when God and Jesus have a lightsaber duel on a bridge though.

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