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Cool Things About Being A Man


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Cool Things About Being A Man:

 

1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2- Your orgasms are real. Always.

3- Your last name stays put.

4- The garage is all yours.

5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

 

6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10- Same work, more pay.

 

11- Wrinkles add character.

12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00

14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

 

15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17- One mood, all the damn time.

18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20- You can open all your own jars.

21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack.

23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

 

26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me".

27- No maxi-pads.'

28- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 

31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33- Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

 

35- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37- The world is your urinal.

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This was great (and true).

 

Most of that applied, but I own tons of shoes.

 

Yeah women do take forever getting dressed. I remember last year I was supposed to go to the movies to see Terminator 3 with this girl that I knew from high school and I called her about an hour before I came to pick her up, and then arrived at her house 2 hours before the movie started. The bitch still took forever and was yapping on the phone in the process, and 10 minutes before the movie started I was still there waiting on her. I ended up leaving and went to watch the movie myself.

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Me and one of my buddies sat down and made a list like this one night when we got blazed. Except it was just about real man shit.

 

The list was long but some of the highlights were

 

 

Bacon for breakfast

coffee black none of that pussy flavored shit

spitting/burping/farting

 

 

i have to find the list. It goes on like this for a while.

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Originally posted by PalestineOne

^^^ this aint no scholarly institution homie, this is the streets, we dont "provide sources and citations" on the streets homie. UUUUUUUUGHH! GANGSTA

 

 

this isn't the streets dumbass......

 

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

 

 

SKATER!!!!!!!!!! :evil2:

 

 

 

HA!:lol:

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YEAH, WORD. FUCK SEXIST SHIT LIKE THIS. DON'T YOU GET IT?? WE'RE THE SAME. MALES AND FEMALES. THEY'RE THE SAME!! YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW WE'RE DIFFERENT AND WHY SOME ASPECTS MIGHT BE FAVORABLE!! WE'RE THE SAME! EQUALITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYONER

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Originally posted by test pattern

WE'RE THE SAME!

 

Wrong! We have very different chemicals running thought our brains making the way we think effectivly different!

Hence the general differences between males and females, eg Males are more aggresive.

Notice my use of the word general in the last sentance.

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Originally posted by -->Def$tar!

Wrong! We have very different chemicals running thought our brains making the way we think effectivly different!

Hence the general differences between males and females, eg Males are more aggresive.

Notice my use of the word general in the last sentance.

i am very well aware of this. i was being sarcastic in my post.
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allot of that doesnt apply to the men of 2004.

 

 

1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. - true

2- Your orgasms are real. Always. - true

3- Your last name stays put. - true

4- The garage is all yours. -false

5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. -false

 

6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.-true

7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. -hell naw

8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. - false

9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. -hot wax?

10- Same work, more pay.- true

 

11- Wrinkles add character. -fuck naw

12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch - false.

adjustments.

13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00- true

14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.-true

 

15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. -true

16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. -false

17- One mood, all the damn time. false

18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.-false

19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.-false

20- You can open all your own jars.false

21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. -false

22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack.-false

23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.-false

24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. -true

25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.-false

 

26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without

ever thinking "he must be mad at me".-true

27- No maxi-pads.' -true

28- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just

might become lifelong friends. -true

29- You are not expected to know the names of more than five

colors.-true

30- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a

bolt.-true

 

31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.-false

32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. fuck naw

33- Your belly usually hides your big hips. -fuck that

34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. wallet yeah, shoes no, color yeah.

 

35- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. -true

36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on

December 24th, in minutes.- true

37- The world is your urinal.- except that you can get arrested and fined for $100.00.

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