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Cool Things About Being A Man

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by 2 blaazed, Apr 24, 2004.

  1. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
    Cool Things About Being A Man:

    1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    2- Your orgasms are real. Always.
    3- Your last name stays put.
    4- The garage is all yours.
    5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    10- Same work, more pay.

    11- Wrinkles add character.
    12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00
    14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

    15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    17- One mood, all the damn time.
    18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
    19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
    20- You can open all your own jars.
    21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack.
    23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
    24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me".
    27- No maxi-pads.'
    28- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
    29- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    30- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
    32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    33- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    35- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
    37- The world is your urinal.
  2. Telo

    Telo Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 3, 2003 Messages: 4,164 Likes Received: 37
    preach it brother.
  3. slave_one

    slave_one Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2003 Messages: 2,745 Likes Received: 2
    in my past life i was a man...
    i hate being a woman most of the time...
  4. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    I hate sexist shit like this.....
  5. TheoHuxtable

    TheoHuxtable Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 5, 2004 Messages: 2,113 Likes Received: 1
    This was great (and true).

    Most of that applied, but I own tons of shoes.

    Yeah women do take forever getting dressed. I remember last year I was supposed to go to the movies to see Terminator 3 with this girl that I knew from high school and I called her about an hour before I came to pick her up, and then arrived at her house 2 hours before the movie started. The bitch still took forever and was yapping on the phone in the process, and 10 minutes before the movie started I was still there waiting on her. I ended up leaving and went to watch the movie myself.

    KING BLING Guest

    oh oh oh...

    Never trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die...
  7. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
    this is older than 2 year old dog shit
  8. High Priest

    High Priest Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 1, 2002 Messages: 4,928 Likes Received: 4
  9. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Me and one of my buddies sat down and made a list like this one night when we got blazed. Except it was just about real man shit.

    The list was long but some of the highlights were

    Bacon for breakfast
    coffee black none of that pussy flavored shit

    i have to find the list. It goes on like this for a while.
  10. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0
    still don't agree with 25 and 34
  11. Bachian

    Bachian Junior Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2004 Messages: 107 Likes Received: 0
    if you are going to steal that list from somewhere, at least credit the source...
  12. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
    ^^^ this aint no scholarly institution homie, this is the streets, we dont "provide sources and citations" on the streets homie. UUUUUUUUGHH! GANGSTA
  13. Bachian

    Bachian Junior Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2004 Messages: 107 Likes Received: 0

    this isn't the streets dumbass......


    SKATER!!!!!!!!!! :evil2:

  14. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
    its not the streets, but its not Harvard University either

  15. Bachian

    Bachian Junior Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2004 Messages: 107 Likes Received: 0