2 blaazed Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Cool Things About Being A Man: 1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2- Your orgasms are real. Always. 3- Your last name stays put. 4- The garage is all yours. 5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10- Same work, more pay. 11- Wrinkles add character. 12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00 14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17- One mood, all the damn time. 18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20- You can open all your own jars. 21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack. 23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me". 27- No maxi-pads.' 28- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 33- Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. 36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. 37- The world is your urinal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Telo Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 preach it brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave_one Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 in my past life i was a man... i hate being a woman most of the time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 I hate sexist shit like this..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 This was great (and true). Most of that applied, but I own tons of shoes. Yeah women do take forever getting dressed. I remember last year I was supposed to go to the movies to see Terminator 3 with this girl that I knew from high school and I called her about an hour before I came to pick her up, and then arrived at her house 2 hours before the movie started. The bitch still took forever and was yapping on the phone in the process, and 10 minutes before the movie started I was still there waiting on her. I ended up leaving and went to watch the movie myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 oh oh oh... Never trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalestineOne Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 this is older than 2 year old dog shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Priest Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by PalestineOne this is older than 2 year old dog shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Me and one of my buddies sat down and made a list like this one night when we got blazed. Except it was just about real man shit. The list was long but some of the highlights were Bacon for breakfast coffee black none of that pussy flavored shit spitting/burping/farting i have to find the list. It goes on like this for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synaps Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 still don't agree with 25 and 34 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bachian Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 if you are going to steal that list from somewhere, at least credit the source... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalestineOne Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 ^^^ this aint no scholarly institution homie, this is the streets, we dont "provide sources and citations" on the streets homie. UUUUUUUUGHH! GANGSTA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bachian Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by PalestineOne ^^^ this aint no scholarly institution homie, this is the streets, we dont "provide sources and citations" on the streets homie. UUUUUUUUGHH! GANGSTA this isn't the streets dumbass...... AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! SKATER!!!!!!!!!! :evil2: HA!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalestineOne Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 its not the streets, but its not Harvard University either skater? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bachian Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by PalestineOne its not the streets, but its not Harvard University either...skater? true.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalestineOne Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 now go visit my news thread and stay informed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Tell me you've never once faked it? Thats what I thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(no subject) Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle I hate sexist shit like this..... What this guy said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adderall Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by 2BLAZZED 37- The world is your urinal. hahah werd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
test pattern Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 YEAH, WORD. FUCK SEXIST SHIT LIKE THIS. DON'T YOU GET IT?? WE'RE THE SAME. MALES AND FEMALES. THEY'RE THE SAME!! YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW WE'RE DIFFERENT AND WHY SOME ASPECTS MIGHT BE FAVORABLE!! WE'RE THE SAME! EQUALITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYONER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deph Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Number 1 sucks I went for an interview last week and I hear some chick has already got the job because the used that baby and I also hear she's wasn't as qualified. Thats really got me pissed off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TURBOCAPSLOK Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by (no subject) What this guy said. THAT WAS IMPLIED MERELY BY QUOTING HIM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-->Def$tar! Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by test pattern WE'RE THE SAME! Wrong! We have very different chemicals running thought our brains making the way we think effectivly different! Hence the general differences between males and females, eg Males are more aggresive. Notice my use of the word general in the last sentance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
test pattern Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by -->Def$tar! Wrong! We have very different chemicals running thought our brains making the way we think effectivly different! Hence the general differences between males and females, eg Males are more aggresive. Notice my use of the word general in the last sentance. i am very well aware of this. i was being sarcastic in my post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 Originally posted by test pattern i am very well aware of this. i was being sarcastic in my post. Dont worry! I caught it.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PalestineOne Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 allot of that doesnt apply to the men of 2004. 1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. - true 2- Your orgasms are real. Always. - true 3- Your last name stays put. - true 4- The garage is all yours. -false 5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. -false 6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.-true 7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. -hell naw 8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. - false 9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. -hot wax? 10- Same work, more pay.- true 11- Wrinkles add character. -fuck naw 12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch - false. adjustments. 13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00- true 14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.-true 15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. -true 16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. -false 17- One mood, all the damn time. false 18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.-false 19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.-false 20- You can open all your own jars.false 21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. -false 22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack.-false 23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.-false 24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. -true 25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.-false 26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me".-true 27- No maxi-pads.' -true 28- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. -true 29- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.-true 30- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.-true 31- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.-false 32- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. fuck naw 33- Your belly usually hides your big hips. -fuck that 34- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. wallet yeah, shoes no, color yeah. 35- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. -true 36- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.- true 37- The world is your urinal.- except that you can get arrested and fined for $100.00. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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