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confessions of a pizza delivery man

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kodak, Sep 6, 2002.

  1. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    DROPPED PIZZAS - Bored young pizza-makers often try to twirl pizzas overhead just like in the movies - but inexperienced workers frequently drop them. They'd just pick the pizza up off the floor, blow the dust off and stick it in the oven.

    DIRTY HANDS - In two of the shops I worked for, none of the staffers ever washed their hands, even after using the bathroom

    BUG "TOPPING" - You'd often see cockroaches scuttling over the dough, If the staffers saw one they'd crush it, right on the pizza. They'd try to scrape it off, but they could never get all of it.

    "If there were some legs or stuff left behind, they used to joke, 'Oh well, adds to the flavor.'"

    SNEEZING WORKERS - One guy we nicknamed 'Sneezy' because he sneezed on the pizza dough so often. Another guy used to have a chronic cough and when he let one loose, droplets of phlegm would spray everywhere."

    ROAMING PETS - In one shop, they had a pet cat that was allowed to roam around freely. You'd see its fur drifting onto a pizza and nobody did anything about it."

    CIGARETTE BUTTS - Smoking is epidemic in pizza shops, Occasionally ashes or a whole cigarette butt falls into the dough. The guys try to dig out as much as they can, but once in a while a butt gets through."

    RECYCLED PIZZAS - At one shop, if they couldn't find an address, they'd bring the pizza back and let it sit around for days till someone ordered the same thing

    LAXATIVES, NUTS & BOLTS - If you don't give the delivery person a decent tip, you can be pretty sure that the next time you order a pizza, it will come with a little 'extra topping,' of one kind or another

    SAT-ON PIZZAS - Not all the abuse done to pizzas is malicious - some is all in good fun.
     
  2. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Hmm give us a site where this was from and i may beleive you.
     
  3. Whoa1

    Whoa1 Member

    Joined: Aug 22, 2002 Messages: 292 Likes Received: 0
    Once I found one of those under my pizza, I laughed.
     
  4. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Dr. Dazzle is a said pizza maker. None of this shit happens......
     
  5. footsoldier

    footsoldier Senior Member

    Joined: May 23, 2000 Messages: 1,885 Likes Received: 2
    i used to put my cigarettes out on a kids face that looked like a pizza.

    wait. no i didnt. woulda been preety bad ass if i did though
     
  6. mr snortalot

    mr snortalot New Jack

    Joined: Feb 14, 2002 Messages: 6 Likes Received: 0
    IVE GOTTEN LONLEY PUSSY FROM HORNEY WOMEN DELIVERY PIZZAS... TALK ABOUT 30 MIN. OR FREE...I HAD A PINK PORSCHE AND I FUCKED A HUNGRY CALL GIRL BECaUSE IM SO FRESH..FO FREE... MAKING UP FOR MY LATE PIES
     
  7. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    I had pizza today:mad: It was delicious!:)
     
  8. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    my brother pissed on a pizza before;)
     
  9. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    i remember in elementary school everyone said their favorite food was pizza
     
  10. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    i worked at little caesars for a year
     
  11. fr8burner

    fr8burner Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 4, 2001 Messages: 2,576 Likes Received: 2
    and nachoes.
     
  12. KING BLING

    KING BLING Guest

  13. Grandola

    Grandola Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 16, 2002 Messages: 1,773 Likes Received: 0

    kodak, hopefully not the one right there on zarzamora and military by H.E.B.... i hope.

    :eek:
     
  14. mr.e

    mr.e Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 8, 2000 Messages: 2,343 Likes Received: 0
    i also hope he really didnt work at that one.

    Grandola, are we talking about the same one? 210?
     
  15. THEdude

    THEdude Guest

    yeah I'm pretty sure it's the same one
     
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