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Chateau dUber Shitbush

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by BROWNer, Nov 11, 2003.

  1. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    Chateau du Shitbag

    Shitbag Wine

    Shitbag Wine is a casual budget red for the constantly mobile. The unbreakable plastic bottle is a boon to those who slip and fall often. And the unique nipple top lets the wine through when you squeeze, but keeps it in when you knock over the bottle, or throw it against a wall in a fit of sweaty rage.

    Shitbag's bouquet is complex if not delicate, with dense aromas of thistleberry and fish, and a touch of lead from the barrel aging. The wine carries a strong smoke feel and has an almost overpowering finish.

    Shitbag Wine. The wine of choice for the downwardly mobile.

    Chateau du Shitbag

    So you're off the streets. But you miss the sound of the trains, the feel of vermin against your cheek, the smell of fresh morning vomit. You yearn for a simple, dangerous life. Now you've got Chateau du Shitbag.

    Or: you're still down on your luck, but miraculously a benevolent stranger has asked you to dinner. A whole new world could be opening to you, if you impress, if you show distinction. If you bring along a bottle of Chateau du Shitbag.

    No matter your lot in life, Chateau du Shitbag rewards the pallette munificently. Luxurious dark berry, peanuts, cassis, and vodka with firm tannins. Only the slightest hint of lead. Sir Lawrence Shitbag's signature Merlot is a classic choice for upscale transients worldwide.


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  2. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

  3. Æ°

    Æ° Senior Member

    Joined: May 12, 2002 Messages: 1,974 Likes Received: 6
    Re: Chateau du Shitbag

  4. On a sidenote, i've always wanted to launch some alcohol product called
    "The ussual"
    So every desperate motherfucker with no life could walk into any bar in the world and reply to the barmans question
    "what will it be, mate?"

    with the legendary

    "Whats up? I'll have the ussual"

    Dress to impress
  5. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    oh geez....useless thread 4080.
    thanks to my pal johnny ten corona's, i completely
    forgot i made this.

    dude, run with it. i'd order that for sure.

    a long time ago(this is completely off topic) i got
    half semi-serious about making shoes. they were
    gonna be called 'Zutz'..and they were going to have
    lights and shit on them with a little audio transmitter
    that monitored your heartrate so when you were
    jogging or dancing, the bpm's transmitting to your
    wireless headset would increase. the whole idea was
    to have these shoes that on the surface were all 'wowy',
    but they would sell in those cheap shoe bins at like
    walmart, biway or bargain harolds(old ontario heads
    might remember those 2 stores). kinda like those cheap
    watches you see that are all decked out with crazy ass
    buttons that don't even work.
  6. oneeightyone

    oneeightyone Senior Member

    Joined: May 23, 2003 Messages: 1,289 Likes Received: 0
    what kind of wierd shit were you on when you thought this up......heartrates and transmitters...in a shoe? Crazy.
  7. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    i was working in the bush at the time.
    all i had for after work was my boots that i'd worn all
    day, which were usually soaking wet. at the end of the
    day it sucks not having a pair of dry shoes..
    so i made a pair of shoes/slippers out of cardboard, duct tape,
    and various and sundry pieces of detritus.
    they rocked so hard that the rest of my crew was willing
    to pay me to make them a pair.
    i've had a few ideas like that. you have to realize that our
    world is full of so much retardedly bizarre and useless shit..things
    that i would never fathom could make somebody a couple hundred
    grand are everywhere. not that my zutz would, but..
  8. oneeightyone

    oneeightyone Senior Member

    Joined: May 23, 2003 Messages: 1,289 Likes Received: 0
  9. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 622
    my shoes and socks got drenched this morning riding in the rain.
    they are still wet, nearly 4 hours later.

    it really does suck not having dry shoes.
  10. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    oh shit,

    I am so hung....

  11. TEARZ

    TEARZ Guest

    my order:

    1 pair of zutz
    1 dunlop t-shirt (size L)
    1 audio cassette
  12. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    I cant believe that everyone is ignoring or maybe doesnt see the humor that i see in the chateau du shitbag wine. This is borderline fantastic BROWNer. Did you make those images yourself?
  13. krie

    krie Guest

    shitbag wine, nice one. i like the idea of the bottle being unbreakable for when ur carrying it, but wot about when u have finished it and wanna smash it against a wall ? the nipple idea isnt too bad ethier for when u spill it, but wot about when wanting to skull/funnel it ?
  14. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30