Jump to content

chain letters


Guest Eski

Recommended Posts

Guest Eski

i am incredibly bored . got this in an email today . :)

 

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and

deadly >diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,

fear of being >kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and

guilt for not forwarding >out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent

to me by people who actually >believe that if you send them on,

then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in >Arkansas with a breast

on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to >have it

removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling

freak show. > >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going

>>to give you and everyone >you send his email to $1000? How stupid

>>are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I >scroll down this page and make a

>>wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny >in the magazine! What a

>>bunch of fucking bullshit. > >So basically, this message is a big

>>FUCK YOU to all the people out there who >have nothing better to do

>>than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe >the evil chain

>>letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize >me in

>>my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser

>>in 5 >A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on

>>the Mayflower and >if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the

>>Guinness Book of World >Records for longest continuous streak of

>blatant stupidity. > >Fuck them! > >If you're going to forward

>>something, at least send me something mildly >fucking amusing. I've

>>seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, >and this

>>poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a

>> >Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I

>>don't fucking >care. Show a little intelligence and think about

>>what you're actually >contributing to by sending out forwards.

>>Chances are it's your own >unpopularity. > > >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES

>>OF CHAIN LETTERS: > >Chain Letter Type 1: >(scroll down) > > >Make

>>a wish!!! > > > > >Keep Scrolling > > > >No, really, go on and make

>>one!!! > > > > > >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! >Wish

>>something else!!! > > > > > >Not that, you pervert!! > > > > > >

>> >STOP!!!! > > >Wasn't that fun? :) >Hope you made a great wish :)

>> > > >Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of

>all, if you >don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds,

>>you will be raped by a >mad goat and thrown off a high building

>>into a pile of manure. > >It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't

>>like those fake ones, THIS one is >TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it

>>goes: > >*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at

>>you for sending >them a stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 2-5

>>people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending >them a

>>stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will

>>be pissed off at you for sending >them a stupid chain letter, and

>>may form a plot on your life. > >*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20

>>people will be pissed off at you for >sending them a stupid chain

>>letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! >Good Luck!!! >

> >Chain Letter Type 2 > >Hello, and thank you for reading this

>>letter. You see, there is a starving >little boy in

>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, >and

>>no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every

>>time >you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little

>>Starving Legless >Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen

>>Fund. > >Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting

>>the emails sent and >this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go

>>on, reach out. Send this to 5 >people in the next 47 seconds. >

>> >Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6

>>people, you >will die instantly. > >Thanks again!! > > >Chain

>>Letter Type 3 > >Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence

>>since 1897. This is >absolutely incredible because there was no

>>email then and probably not as >many sad pricks with nothing better

>>to do. > >So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people

>>in the next 7 >minutes or something horrible will happen to you

>>like: > >*Bizarre Horror Story #1 >Miranda Pinsley was walking home

>>from school on Saturday. She had recently >received this letter and

>>ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the >sidewalk, fell into

>>the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of >poopie, and

>>went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,

>> >she died. This Could Happen To You!!! > >*Bizarre Horror Story #2

>> >Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and

>>ignored >it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his

>>boyfriend (hey, some >people swing that way). They both died and

>>went to hell and were cursed to >eat adorable kittens every day for

>>eternity. > >This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could

>>end up just like Pinsley >and Bip. Just send this letter to all of

>>your loser friends, and everything >will be okay. > > >Chain Letter

>>Type 4 > >As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. >Send it to

>>all your friends. > >FRIENDS: > >A friend is someone who is always

>>at your side. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you

>>stink of shit, and your >breath smells like you've been eating

>>catfood. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as

>ugly as a hat full >of assholes. > >A friend is someone who cleans

>>up for you after you've soiled yourself. > >A friend is someone who

>>stays with you all night while you cry about your >sad, sad life. >

>> >A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really

>>think you >should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious

>>dogs. > >A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and

>>then gets the check >and leaves and doesn't speak much

>>English...no, sorry that's the cleaning >lady. > >A friend is NOT

>>someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his >wish of

>>being rich to come true. > >Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll

>>never have sex ever again! > > >The point being? If you get some

>>chain letter that's threatening to leave >you shagless or luckless

>>for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's >funny, send it on.

>>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a >leper in

>>Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27

>> >years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per >letter he'll receive

>>if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like >Miranda.

>>Right? > >Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise

>>you'll find all your >knickers missing tomorrow morning!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...