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chain letters

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Eski, May 21, 2002.

  1. Eski

    Eski Guest

    i am incredibly bored . got this in an email today . :)

    Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and
    deadly >diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,
    fear of being >kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and
    guilt for not forwarding >out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
    to me by people who actually >believe that if you send them on,
    then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in >Arkansas with a breast
    on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to >have it
    removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling
    freak show. > >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going
    >>to give you and everyone >you send his email to $1000? How stupid
    >>are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I >scroll down this page and make a
    >>wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny >in the magazine! What a
    >>bunch of fucking bullshit. > >So basically, this message is a big
    >>FUCK YOU to all the people out there who >have nothing better to do
    >>than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe >the evil chain
    >>letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize >me in
    >>my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser
    >>in 5 >A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on
    >>the Mayflower and >if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the
    >>Guinness Book of World >Records for longest continuous streak of
    >blatant stupidity. > >Fuck them! > >If you're going to forward
    >>something, at least send me something mildly >fucking amusing. I've
    >>seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, >and this
    >>poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
    >> >Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I
    >>don't fucking >care. Show a little intelligence and think about
    >>what you're actually >contributing to by sending out forwards.
    >>Chances are it's your own >unpopularity. > > >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES
    >>OF CHAIN LETTERS: > >Chain Letter Type 1: >(scroll down) > > >Make
    >>a wish!!! > > > > >Keep Scrolling > > > >No, really, go on and make
    >>one!!! > > > > > >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! >Wish
    >>something else!!! > > > > > >Not that, you pervert!! > > > > > >
    >> >STOP!!!! > > >Wasn't that fun? :) >Hope you made a great wish :)
    >> > > >Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of
    >all, if you >don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds,
    >>you will be raped by a >mad goat and thrown off a high building
    >>into a pile of manure. > >It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't
    >>like those fake ones, THIS one is >TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it
    >>goes: > >*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at
    >>you for sending >them a stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 2-5
    >>people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending >them a
    >>stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will
    >>be pissed off at you for sending >them a stupid chain letter, and
    >>may form a plot on your life. > >*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20
    >>people will be pissed off at you for >sending them a stupid chain
    >>letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! >Good Luck!!! >
    > >Chain Letter Type 2 > >Hello, and thank you for reading this
    >>letter. You see, there is a starving >little boy in
    >Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, >and
    >>no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every
    >>time >you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
    >>Starving Legless >Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
    >>Fund. > >Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting
    >>the emails sent and >this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go
    >>on, reach out. Send this to 5 >people in the next 47 seconds. >
    >> >Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
    >>people, you >will die instantly. > >Thanks again!! > > >Chain
    >>Letter Type 3 > >Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence
    >>since 1897. This is >absolutely incredible because there was no
    >>email then and probably not as >many sad pricks with nothing better
    >>to do. > >So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people
    >>in the next 7 >minutes or something horrible will happen to you
    >>like: > >*Bizarre Horror Story #1 >Miranda Pinsley was walking home
    >>from school on Saturday. She had recently >received this letter and
    >>ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the >sidewalk, fell into
    >>the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of >poopie, and
    >>went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,
    >> >she died. This Could Happen To You!!! > >*Bizarre Horror Story #2
    >> >Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
    >>ignored >it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
    >>boyfriend (hey, some >people swing that way). They both died and
    >>went to hell and were cursed to >eat adorable kittens every day for
    >>eternity. > >This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could
    >>end up just like Pinsley >and Bip. Just send this letter to all of
    >>your loser friends, and everything >will be okay. > > >Chain Letter
    >>Type 4 > >As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. >Send it to
    >>all your friends. > >FRIENDS: > >A friend is someone who is always
    >>at your side. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you
    >>stink of shit, and your >breath smells like you've been eating
    >>catfood. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as
    >ugly as a hat full >of assholes. > >A friend is someone who cleans
    >>up for you after you've soiled yourself. > >A friend is someone who
    >>stays with you all night while you cry about your >sad, sad life. >
    >> >A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
    >>think you >should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious
    >>dogs. > >A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and
    >>then gets the check >and leaves and doesn't speak much
    >>English...no, sorry that's the cleaning >lady. > >A friend is NOT
    >>someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his >wish of
    >>being rich to come true. > >Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll
    >>never have sex ever again! > > >The point being? If you get some
    >>chain letter that's threatening to leave >you shagless or luckless
    >>for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's >funny, send it on.
    >>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a >leper in
    >>Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27
    >> >years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per >letter he'll receive
    >>if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like >Miranda.
    >>Right? > >Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise
    >>you'll find all your >knickers missing tomorrow morning!

    SKUMBALUCKAH Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 22, 2000 Messages: 2,060 Likes Received: 1
    Good stuff! I'm using this next time I get a chain letter...
  3. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 1,071 Likes Received: 0
    i hate chain letters:mad: