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Bunnies on Acid

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by yoda's bitch, Jun 11, 2002.

  1. yoda's bitch

    yoda's bitch New Jack

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 24 Likes Received: 0
    This one will be long...my post atleast.
    Just got back from bombing...
    Amped, and feel the need to get this shit out
    I wrote a novel, the main character is a writer
    I'm not doing anything with the novel yet, just sittin on it
    And I'm thinking what the fuck...I'll post the first little bit and see what
    anyone thinks...the story is complex, its about a hundred and fifty pages long,
    but you can tell alot about a book by the first little bit.
    What I guess I need is honesty and people to REAM me if they feel like it,
    this is the perfect place for getting reamed...no?
    Ream on.
    But what I really want to know, is if you feel like reading more.

    Here it is....

    Awakening (chapter 1)

    A drop of something warm and wet oozed down the bridge of Little Bunny's nose, as he lay snug on his Sealy Posturepedic.
    He began to stir.
    Dream reality gave way to real reality.
    And then he wondered,
    Why the fuck's that shit warm?
    He lay still for a hot second.
    Open your eyes kid…open your eyes.
    He listened to himself,
    And then he was left with one more thing to wonder…
    His room looked the same,
    It was dark.
    The walls were black and eyegasm inspiring,
    Filled with art of every kind, flix of his work, favorite writer's, some random old skool styles that first caught his eye back in the day.
    The full-length antique mirror his grandmother gave him that use to belong to HER mother stood in the corner.
    He remembered originally wondering why she gave such a thing to a kid his age, right before he tagged it with a Sharpie.
    He remembered his mom's feeble attempts to buff it off.
    He liked his mirror.

    But back to his wondering…
    Little Bunny wondered why everything was faded bloody-blue purple this morning.

    Reaching up with the back of his paw,
    He wriggled his wrist into an eye socket-
    And tried to wipe away the hue.
    No wonder it looks like someone squished Barney and creamed his gory fuckin carcass all over my room.
    His wrist now sported one of those tie-dye hippie-shit numbers he'd always fuckin hated.
    "What the FUCK?"
    Sitting up slow he brought his head to his paws-
    And tried to remember ANYTHING about last night.
    Fast forward hit the scene and in one tail-trailing zip speed motion
    He was over in front of the antique-painted mirror…and lifted his head.

    Manic flashes of disemboweled road kill,
    AFTER tire rubber implodes the animal's head…
    Eyes slammed shut.
    He pulled his eyes shut so tight that they buckled in quivering waves.
    He kept em shut.
    But the image was burned into his sensors and sat heavy on his brain.
    The image may have been even more intense with his eyes shut.
    He wondered about that too.
    Slowly the eyelid skin retreated, and he
    took a good solid look.
    Senses overloaded…
    Feels like the time I stuck a fork in that baby-bunny-killing electrical outlet.

    O.k., maybe not quite as bad.

    But close.

    The silence of his room felt as loud as the Midnight Express running the track between the pink centers of his floppy ears, and beyond.
    And there, bloodied on his forehead, were the words

    Generation X.

    Terror-stricken little eyes fixated on his mangled face.
    Trippin. I'm just trippin.

    The letters were jagged and completely lacking in style.
    He started ruling out possibilities:
    It couldn't have been Nate-
    Even if he DID feel like being sick and cruel like that, he would have shaved off the forehead fur first,
    He wouldn't have left a crusty, matted pile of blood and ink on my face.
    Besides, it would have fucked up his needle.
    Unless NATE was that fucked up…
    Couldn't be.
    Besides, this went way beyond the time he inked Floppy Bob's ass with the words Faggot Thumper.
    At least HE could put his pants on.
    Plus, Nate's my best friend.
    And BESIDES all that shit-
    Why the fuck would he write Generation X?
    Why the FUCK would ANYONE write Generation X on someone's forehead?
    It's not even art.
    It's psychotic chicken scratch.

    And just as Little Bunny's brain was about to take flight from the manic run-through of feverish thoughts,
    He heard the click of a disengaging doorknob,
    And saw through his mind's eye,
    The horror on his mother's face before her body turned to stone and fell shattering on the floor.
    The door began to open, and he turned his head to face her,
    And witness the unavoidable event.

    Her eyes caught his after she quickly scanned his room.
    "You know, I TOLD you to clean this shit hole up…
    you KNOW I'm having company tonight!"

    Little Bunny's eyes moved to a disagreeable pink curler that lay dangling amongst the many others that hugged her fuzzy head.
    He always hated the fact that his mother wore extensions-he wanted to rip out that dangling curler.
    There was always a dangling curler.
    He hated all of them.
    His eyes moved back to hers.
    She was waiting for a response.
    He was waiting for a dramatic scene straight outta King Kong.
    It never happened.
    She just rolled her eyes, spun around on her floppy white feet and disappeared out of his doorway,
    Slamming the door behind her.

    He turned again to look in the mirror-
    And Little Bunny wondered again,
    While fixated by the mangled mess he use to call his face-
    Why so often it was that he saw,
    What no one else seemed able to see.
  2. JUWSE

    JUWSE Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2002 Messages: 159 Likes Received: 0
  3. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3
  4. yoda's bitch

    yoda's bitch New Jack

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 24 Likes Received: 0
    Come on Aser1ne
    yoda's bitch here...
    more than an ummm?
    What about a fuck that its bunk?
    Or a maybe I'd want to hear more...
    Just not any time soon?

    I know, if I posted my picture under
    the "would you hit it thread"
    I'd prolly get more feedback...
  5. I'll be perfect honest, i dont dig it that much, but i really dig the idea that you're writing a novel. If i had something to say i'd say that maybe you need a plot that isnt so self centered, creating a different character than yourself, or, if you want to keep it that way you should get deeper into the character...i'm not trying to be salty at all but from what i read thats what i'd like to see. Anyway, keep it up[​IMG]
  6. yoda's bitch

    yoda's bitch New Jack

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 24 Likes Received: 0
  7. haha, i'm glad you took it like i meant it. Anyway...yeah i didnt thought you were a bunny in the first place:)
    All books are somehow self centered, i mean anything written by someone can only have reference to personal views and experiences. It maybe that the best way to express that stuff is to try to leave your self out of it.
    Anyway, i'd like to see where that goes, post more please...i wish i could post my shit but that involves translation, being the euro fuck i am, anyway. May the force be with you:)
  8. ilikeskulls.

    ilikeskulls. Guest

    ughhh....i'm too drunk to read all of this...your mom is a bunny on acid...stupid drug adddicted bunnies
  9. city(starz)

    city(starz) New Jack

    Joined: Jun 11, 2002 Messages: 9 Likes Received: 0
    stupid addicted bunnies :D
  10. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
  11. blame

    blame Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 2, 2001 Messages: 205 Likes Received: 0

    waaaaaaaaay over my head
  12. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,307 Likes Received: 112
    ok ok ok ok....seems pretty cool, im diggin it...

    Are you hot by the way?

  13. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    "g", i hope "yoda's bitch" doenst get on my case.

    i just felt like i was on acid seeing myself as a bunny....i kinda got lost...

    ok reread it...i now know you saw yourself as a bunny..????
    did you write that on acid?

    it was definately acid all right...:lick:
  14. yoda's bitch

    yoda's bitch New Jack

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 24 Likes Received: 0
    I don't wanna shamelessly promote myself or anything,
    but yes I am hot.
    Or I could be FUCKIN busted with teeth like this guy:D
    and you might never know...
  15. yoda's bitch

    yoda's bitch New Jack

    Joined: Jun 5, 2002 Messages: 24 Likes Received: 0
    Re: "g", i hope "yoda's bitch" doenst get on my case.

    Nah, I didn't actually write it on acid,
    i wrote 'bunnies on acid' as the subject (but its NOT the title of the book)
    prolly cause half the book takes place inside of an acid trip