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Bull Nut Paste

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Weapon X, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    Okay, no kidding, this is for real.


    I was drinking at my friend's place a couple of weekends back, and he told me something interesting. He told me that he went to his Persian buddy's house recently and the dude was wearing a towel around his head. When my friend asked him why, the Persian dude said that he had a remedy for balding that actually works.

    A week later, he went to another buddy's place; a white dude. He had learned the secret from the Persian, and was using it to battle his own baldness. What is the secret, you ask? I'll tell you. Bull nut paste. Buddy pulled out the ziploc bag of nuts from his fridge to prove it.

    You buy bull testicles from the Persian market, then put them in a blender, then apply them to the bald spot. My friend said that where his buddy was bald before, he is growing sprouts. And the Persian dude has almost entirely grown back his hair. So this shit works, apparently.

    Me, I'd prefer to just rock the Picard. I'll eat bull testes, sure, but to apply a paste to my head is another thing entirely.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. Gat Bush

    Gat Bush Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 23, 2003 Messages: 9,817 Likes Received: 129
    isnt taurine bull semen?
     
  3. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    I don't know. Never heard of it.
     
  4. Gat Bush

    Gat Bush Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 23, 2003 Messages: 9,817 Likes Received: 129
    the active ingredient in redbull.
     
  5. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    its the shit in red bull
     
  6. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 174
    I once heard Spalding Gray say that he and his brother used "early morning urine" (their own I assume) to treat their baldness... but he was still bald.
     
  7. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 40
    go with grace and shave your head.


    persians go bald?
     
  8. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202

    I heard that the druids would use stale urine to gel their hair before battle.
     
  9. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 43
    BULL NUT PASTE: FOR BALD SPOTS AND SAMWICHES.
     
  10. roadpig

    roadpig Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 9, 2004 Messages: 4,073 Likes Received: 59
    you've eaten rocky mountain oysters? :yuck:
     
  11. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    nope. But I've always wanted to try cowboy caviar.
     
  12. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
    Hopefully I will never need such remedies.
     
  13. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    I hope these guys are using gloves, or they'll have hair on their palms, like those dudes who were handling animal feed back in the day. Or chronic masturbators.
     
  14. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 174
    Ha, you know, the other day I saw the Seinfeld episode where George got some bald cream from China... it smelled really bad and he was supposed to wear it all day so he started wearing a ten-gallon hat... you ought to get homie one of those so he can step away from the towel... and get into looking like a 'cow poke' which seems more appropriate to me if you're putting bull nuts on your head... which is only marginally better than bull nuts on your chin.

    Did anyone catch the news clip of the bull jumping into the stands at the bull fight? Hot shit! That bull got ups boy!
     
  15. WhiteOx

    WhiteOx Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 4, 2003 Messages: 3,691 Likes Received: 0
    You realise if someone patented a baldness cure they'd be billionsaires in about 3 days ?
     
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