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breaking news

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by beardo, Sep 24, 2002.

  1. beardo

    beardo Guest

    According to sources close to CRMP news, Geraldo Rivera has reportedly had his colon and parts of his large intestine transplanted to the outside of his body in a shocking, radical reconstructive surgical procedure. According to sources, his healthy 6ft long colon has been transplanted such that it wraps around his head, not unlike a large turban. Portions of his large intestine reportedly extend from his anus, wrapping around his neck several times like a little scarf, and then up across his upper lip and finally extending to meet the coiled turban-like colon at his crown. Asked why he decided on such a radical reconstructive procedure, Rivera said, "Number 1, it looks good. Number 2, I can now poop on my own face." The procedure has been gaining in popularity over the previous several decades, but to date, Mr. Rivera is the first celebrity to receive the unusual body alteration. It remains unclear how Geraldo fans will react to the "new" Geraldo or whether his television career will be affected by the decision.
    When asked whether he was concerned that the presence of a large 6 foot section of his colon atop his head would negatively impact his career or repulse viewers of his cable program, Mr. Rivera shot back with a confident, "Not at all."



    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 834 Likes Received: 0
  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    i wanna shoot the shit with the pooper........
  4. WALE!pd

    WALE!pd 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jun 7, 2002 Messages: 12,040 Likes Received: 364
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! at first i thought it was real
  5. spectr

    spectr Guest

  6. JoeyLawrence

    JoeyLawrence New Jack

    Joined: Dec 29, 2001 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0

  7. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    thats comedy....
  8. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
  9. drunken phil

    drunken phil Guest

    it's not?!?!!
  10. socrates

    socrates Guest

    It took me way too long to figure out that it was a fake
  11. Are2

    Are2 Guest

  12. beardo

    beardo Guest

    nope, no onion. just a guy who likes writing funny poetry and stories about all things POOP.
  13. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    I'll admit, the onion was the first thing that popped into my head as well.

    I still remember that Al Capone's vault thing. Can't believe he had a career after that.

    funny shit.
  14. dahighlifdhl

    dahighlifdhl Senior Member

    Joined: May 4, 2002 Messages: 1,430 Likes Received: 0
    i still think its real
  15. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    and eeeww thats gross.