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breaking news

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by beardo, Sep 24, 2002.

  1. beardo

    beardo Guest

    breaking news

    Discussion started by beardo - Sep 24, 2002

    According to sources close to CRMP news, Geraldo Rivera has reportedly had his colon and parts of his large intestine transplanted to the outside of his body in a shocking, radical reconstructive surgical procedure. According to sources, his healthy 6ft long colon has been transplanted such that it wraps around his head, not unlike a large turban. Portions of his large intestine reportedly extend from his anus, wrapping around his neck several times like a little scarf, and then up across his upper lip and finally extending to meet the coiled turban-like colon at his crown. Asked why he decided on such a radical reconstructive procedure, Rivera said, "Number 1, it looks good. Number 2, I can now poop on my own face." The procedure has been gaining in popularity over the previous several decades, but to date, Mr. Rivera is the first celebrity to receive the unusual body alteration. It remains unclear how Geraldo fans will react to the "new" Geraldo or whether his television career will be affected by the decision.
    When asked whether he was concerned that the presence of a large 6 foot section of his colon atop his head would negatively impact his career or repulse viewers of his cable program, Mr. Rivera shot back with a confident, "Not at all."

    -THE POOPER
     
  2. KRONOLOGIK

    KRONOLOGIK 12oz Member

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    KRONOLOGIK - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    HAAHAHAHAAHA! :lol:
     
    KRONOLOGIK - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

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    mental invalid - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    i wanna shoot the shit with the pooper........
     
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  4. WALE!pd

    WALE!pd 12oz Loyalist

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    WALE!pd - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! at first i thought it was real
     
    WALE!pd - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
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  5. spectr

    spectr Guest

    spectr - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    haha
     
  6. JoeyLawrence

    JoeyLawrence New Jack

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    JoeyLawrence - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    FUCK THE NEWS....

    I AM THE INTERNET.
     
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  7. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

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    boogie hands - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    thats comedy....
     
    boogie hands - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  8. swif1

    swif1 12oz Veteran Member

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    swif1 - Replied Sep 24, 2002

     
    swif1 - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  9. drunken phil

    drunken phil Guest

    drunken phil - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    it's not?!?!!
     
  10. socrates

    socrates Guest

    socrates - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    It took me way too long to figure out that it was a fake
     
  11. Are2

    Are2 Guest

    Are2 - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    the onion??
     
  12. beardo

    beardo Guest

    beardo - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    nope, no onion. just a guy who likes writing funny poetry and stories about all things POOP.
     
  13. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin 12oz Veteran Member

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    SteveAustin - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    I'll admit, the onion was the first thing that popped into my head as well.

    I still remember that Al Capone's vault thing. Can't believe he had a career after that.

    funny shit.
     
    SteveAustin - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  14. dahighlifdhl

    dahighlifdhl 12oz Senior Member

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    dahighlifdhl - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    i still think its real
     
    dahighlifdhl - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  15. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    uncle-boy - Replied Sep 24, 2002

    and eeeww thats gross.