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Blow jobs?

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by SleepAnDream, May 28, 2003.

  1. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
    some of this is kinda funny.....



    > > > BLOW JOBS!!!!
    > > >
    > > > WHAT A GIRL HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT
    > > > 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
    > > > 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
    > > > 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
    > > standard practice to cum on someone's face.
    > > > 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
    > > > 5. My ears are NOT handles.
    > > > 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I
    > heard,
    > > deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on
    > your
    > > dick?
    > > > 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
    > > > 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
    > through
    > > your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
    > > particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right
    > > now.
    > > > 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls " might have worked on high school
    > > girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my
    > > Midol.
    > > > 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
    tell
    > me
    > > I've just "wrecked it" for you.
    > > > 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
    > afterwards
    > > is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in
    the
    > > future.
    > > > 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
    about
    > > the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're
    > > good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
    > > > 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
    > > protein content.
    > > > 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
    > > > 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
    > jobs
    > > often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
    > sympathize
    > > or brag.
    > > > 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
    > > "kiss it good morning."
    > > >
    > > >
    > > > WHAT A MAN HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT
    > > >
    > > > 1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will
    > find
    > > someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
    > > > 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
    easier
    > > than licking a dead fish.
    > > > 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything
    > to
    > > you?
    > > > 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be
    > thankful
    > > I'm not pulling your hair.
    > > > 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the
    > > only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
    > > > 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
    > need
    > > all the fluids you can get. Trust me.
    > > > 7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
    > the
    > > short end of the stick in flavor country.
    > > > 8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
    > > > 9. Play with the balls.
    > > > 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
    > > > 11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
    > > > 12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning
    now,
    > > but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee
    > it'll
    > > be "sound asleep."
    > > > 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on
    > your
    > > face, now will you?
     
  2. JimmieWalker

    JimmieWalker Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 29, 2003 Messages: 1,345 Likes Received: 0
    great...I'll take one.
     
  3. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
  4. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
    the short end of the flavor stick, thats what got me....
     
  5. Born Loser

    Born Loser New Jack

    Joined: Sep 14, 2001 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0
    I have a natural charm to get the ladies to let me blast on their faces.
     
  6. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    or as tease calls it...BRAINS!
     
  7. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    thats funny, me too. well most of them. if not that then they almost always swallow.:yum: :lick:
     
  8. dELiSs

    dELiSs Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 2,898 Likes Received: 2
    cool ..minus the cool.
     
  9. miles apart

    miles apart Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2003 Messages: 407 Likes Received: 0
    haha that was amazing.

    On another note, that email wasnt funny, shoot whoever sent that garbage to you. Teeeheeee thats like something 13 year olds or 36 year olds send around to get chuckles.
     
  10. shoekeys

    shoekeys Member

    Joined: May 18, 2003 Messages: 258 Likes Received: 0
    Yes...
    the person who wrote that reads cosmo
    and wears shirts that say,

    "don't talk to me, I haven't had my chocolate fix"
     
  11. Krook

    Krook Banned

    Joined: Oct 26, 2002 Messages: 1,922 Likes Received: 0
    :lol: so true
     
  12. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
    that sounds like a dope ass shirt....i fucking love chocolate....[​IMG]
     
  13. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
    did i say chocolate? i meant little kids.....theyre dEEEEElish!
     
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