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blonde jokes...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by dukeofyork, Dec 18, 2001.

  1. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork Guest

    im not sure if this ones been covered yet...but lets hear some..

    ill start off with some..

    what does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?

    nice work team!


    what does a blonde use for protection during sex?

    a bus shelter.


    what do a blonde and a halogen light bulb have in common?

    they both get screwed on the front end of a ford escort.


    what did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?

    are you sure its mine?


    whats a blondes mating call? (2 possible answers.)

    1. NEXT!
    2. im soooo drunk.


    post up!
     
  2. SKUMBALUCKAH

    SKUMBALUCKAH Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 22, 2000 Messages: 2,060 Likes Received: 0
    What do you call a blonde with pigtails?

    A blowjob with handlebars!
     
  3. EL MASKO

    EL MASKO Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 4,733 Likes Received: 0
    Those call for a good laugh.
     
  4. imported_MoeLarryCurly

    imported_MoeLarryCurly Member

    Joined: Jul 18, 2001 Messages: 375 Likes Received: 0
    if a blond throw a grenade at you what do you do?
    pull the pin and throw it back

    whats the difference between an ironing board and a blond?
    you can close the legs on an ironing board

    how do you kill a blond
    put a scratch and snifff sticker at the bottom of a pool

    I CANT THINK OF THE GOOD ONES I KNOW AHHHH!!!!!
     
  5. Frate_Raper

    Frate_Raper Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 20, 2000 Messages: 7,973 Likes Received: 168
    what do you call a blond doing a head stand??

    a brunet with bad breath
     
  6. ~i~hear~voices~

    ~i~hear~voices~ New Jack

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 31 Likes Received: 0
    <span style='color:darkblue'>heres a few.....

    A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to claim her winnings and the man verifies her ticket number.

    The Blonde says, "I want my $20 million."

    The man replies, "No, ma'am. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

    The Blonde says, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

    Again, the man explains that she would only get a million that day and one million a year for the next 19 years.

    The Blonde, furious with the man, screams out,

    "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back right now!"

    </span>
     
  7. ~i~hear~voices~

    ~i~hear~voices~ New Jack

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 31 Likes Received: 0
    <span style='color:darkblue'>A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed,
    "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"

    The man arched an eyebrow.
    "Anything?"

    "Yes, anything" the blonde promised.

    With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered,
    "Come in and close the door" She did.

    He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.

    Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.

    He said, "Go ahead...take it out"

    She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his yes and whispered,
    "Well....go ahead!"

    The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her mouth she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???"

    </span>
     
  8. ~i~hear~voices~

    ~i~hear~voices~ New Jack

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 31 Likes Received: 0
    <span style='color:darkblue'>yo mama's sooooooo blonde.......

    ... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.

    ... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

    ... she thought General Motors was in the Army.

    ... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

    ... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

    ... she tried to drown a fish.

    ... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate".

    ... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".

    im here all day folks.......:D</span>
     
  9.  
  10. ~i~hear~voices~

    ~i~hear~voices~ New Jack

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 31 Likes Received: 0
    ight....:lol:


    yo mamas soooo blonde...

    she had to put on her glases to watch 20/20

    thank u thank u..no autographs please...:D
     
  11. bobobi11

    bobobi11 Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 15, 2000 Messages: 2,807 Likes Received: 0
    Q: Why do Blonde's where hooped earing?

    A: So that they have a place to rest their ankles


    A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to
    kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,
    grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this
    note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I
    need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
    big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

    She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him
    to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park
    to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just
    as she had instructed.

    Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I
    cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A man had a big date with a very sexy blonde,he decided to lay
    out on a sunny day on his roof to get a good tan but he fell
    asleep and burnt his manly part. Not wanting to cancel the big
    date he rubbed lotion on it and hoped it would be ok.
    During the middle of there date he asked to be excused because
    his manly had started hurting.... he went into the kitchen
    poured a tall glass of milk and stuck his penis in it.
    The blonde worried walked in the kitchen and seen him.... as he
    was very embarressed and about to explain to the blonde said
    "oh so thats how you guys load them things."
     
  12. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 40
    has this one been said?

    how do you know if a blone has been on the computer?

    theres white out on the screen.
     
  13. bobobi11

    bobobi11 Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 15, 2000 Messages: 2,807 Likes Received: 0
    So many jokes, so few posts. Bump for a retry.

    http://www.geocities.com/blonduniverse/priceless_blond_1.jpg'>

    [img]http://www.geocities.com/blonduniverse/blondwish.jpg'>
     
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