Blackout pages 1-13

I'm working on a comic called Blackout. I always am looking for places to show it and get some c & c .... welp here it is....

It' pretty cool. Color would make it much more exciting but I realize that is probably the last step. Over all I really like the artwork though. But I'm no comic book junkie.

looks pretty good..

nice inking..

Thx guys!,

This is just gonna stay Black and white.

Thx again for the C&c. :smiles:

inking job is fresh..story seems a little disjointed?..but maybe thats the point..anyways you get points for this...

alot nicer than your paper chase thread.

dumy:

I think the story when it's all together will be more solid, but I agree on certain parts.

POIESIS:

I would hope this is better then my sketch in paper section, after all that sketch took 20 mins, and it was just to mess around, this comic is an actual job which I work with a writter on, and takes anywhere from a week to 3 weeks per page.

i like it. i know nothing of comics, so that's the beginning and end of my critique

NICE PICTURES, BORING STORYLINE

Mr. ABC:

Well you know what you like, and I'm glad you like it. :)

HIDING BEHIND A SCREEN--

Considering that I do all the art, Thx!

As for the story, it's going to heat up, it's a slow rider, one of those graphic novel ideas. But I do have to agree somewhat, here and there it's builds very slow plot-wise. Things are speeding up though.

I went ahead and re-did page (6) six, it has been pissing me off for awhile. Looks much better to me.... what do you all think, improvment?

I went and normalized the blacks on all previous pages and I completely re-did page 6. Thought I'd post the updates:

although i dont have any knowlegde of comics like the rest of them, i really dig your stuff. have you made any other comics? havae a maling list or anything like that? even though im a starving student, id be willing to trade or pay for other comics youve done or work u wanna sell. email me, mrupfe@aol.com. thansk

dear sasZ:

Man I wish I did have a complete story. But it's not done yet.

I have another comic along the lines of this style that is all my story and everything. But I'm only four pro pages into it. When I finish some photoshop work I'll post it.

As for the email, I'm re-doing all these pages, re-scanning and type in Photoshop because I noticed some are fuzzy, I can't stand it so I'm using what I've learned about scanning and PS to change it. So i will send you those through the e-mail.

Oh BTW: Thanks for the comments. Soon I will be not a starving student/artist freelancer and simply a working starving artist. ;)

I guess I can't go an edit so I have to reply this. I re-scanned and re-photoshopped all the pages. This is how it will show up on print. This also is the last time I'll subject this thread to more re-posts of minor changes. Major to me but, that's me.

heres my critique.

i think your characters are all really stiff. also.. i think you need to look at a book like "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud if you havent already. Your panel to panel and overall page layouts dont flow well and are clunky.

for something to reference for pacing ... i look at "Ronin" by Frank Miller, "Lone Wolf and Cub" and Jean Giruard Moebius' "Blueberry". for examples of how to carry time and action sequentially.

I think its a strong effort. Its always a big step to even try to make a comic. so i commend you for trying.. Im sure your next series will be exponentially better.

good luck.

-al

Hey, first off, thx for taking the time to respond.

I must reply to the character style part. In each comic or situation calls for a certain approach. It will become apparent in the next two pages that these characters are robots. Along the lines of Ghost in the Shell. So they are "cluncky" or sharp to show this in a subtle way which will become obvious soon. I wanted to almost hide the fact that they are not human so people would grasp onto the larger part of the story before the details.

As for pacing, I agree on many pages, I jump too much from one moment ot the next. That's the main thing I want to keep pushing and expereimenting with. You're right though, that's probably my weakest point. But to be honest I thought ronin was some of Millers weakest books artwise. The layouts were pretty static to me. And he didn't seem to make the experiment in styles mend together very well.

Again, thx, You observations and everyones help me push myself to better anything I'm working on,

I think it's fucking great! I love how the layout is less traditional and somewhat less 'organized'; I think the black and white is a must-keep feature, and I'm a fan of the characters - again, I think a less traditional approach to a comic is a fresh idea!

Post more!

McPhoo--

Thanks. It means a lot to me. I agree, I'm tired of seeing the same Batman, superman style out there.

Thx again!

I like what you did with the wooden covered bridge , how the two panels are broken up , but are part of the same image.

You should do that more, and try doing it without the shapes necissarily being squares. Like the actual panel could form into something ans sort of tie in with the plot in a subliminal way,

Just a suggestion, But I think , It is dope. well done

Nice.

keep it up sabe...

Thx peeps. I finished page 14 too....

Lately since school, I have no time. But I'm gonna make time for page 15...I gotta learn to do them faster. Suppose I'd have to lay off the pot though. meh.

fresh

Thx!

I wish I was done with the story though. I want to see it published instead of posting page by page.... I will not stop until I see that happen!!!

For everyone who has checked this out. I was wondering what do you think if I did a little ink wash for general shadows instead of pure black or white. Should I do it for the remaining pages? Like the action changes the look? Or would that distract from the overall look to Blackout? These are some questions I've been asking myself. Here is an example of what figure might look like with the wash:

The story looks really good, but some of the links were broken...

^The above is a good look, by the way...I haven't seen the original, though. If you were aiming for a unified visual theme, I guess it would be jarring to do an ink washed character...but, is that always a bad thing? Watch "Sin City" or "Rumble Fish" and check out how color can be used in a black and white movie for dramatic effect. I think that a similar idea applies here, as well.

I would definitely keep it just straight black and white. I love the look of that and how it can keep things super crisp. Keep that up.

Thanks guys, I will continue the story soon........

Side projects always come when school starts. :(