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bible stories with Willy Wonka...the story of Abraham

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by willy.wonka, Jul 3, 2002.

  1. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    Gn 22:1
    It happened sometime later that God put Abraham to the test. 'Abraham! Abraham!' he called.
    Gn 22:1
    'Here I am,' he replied.
    Gn 22:2
    God said, 'Take your son, your only son, your beloved Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, where you are to offer him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains which I shall point out to you.'
    Gn 22:3
    Early next morning, Abraham saddled his donkey and took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac.
    Gn 22:4
    On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.
    Gn 22:5
    Then Abraham said to his servants, 'Stay here with the donkey. The boy and I are going over there; we shall worship and then come back to you.
    Gn 22:6
    Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering, loaded it on Isaac, and carried in his own hands the fire and the knife.
  2. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    Gn 22:7
    Isaac spoke to his father Abraham, 'Father, look, here are the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?'
    Gn 22:8
    Abraham replied, 'My son, God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering.' And the two of them went on together.
    Gn 22:9
    When they arrived at the place which God had indicated to him, Abraham built an altar there, and arranged the wood.
    Gn 22:9
    Then he bound his son on top of the wood.
    Gn 22:10
    Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to kill his son.
    Gn 22:11
    But the angel of Yahweh called to him from heaven. 'Abraham! Abraham!' he said.
  3. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    Gn 22:11
    'Here I am,' he replied.
    Gn 22:12
    'Do not raise your hand against the boy,' the angel said. 'Do not harm him, for now I know that you fear God. You have not refused me your own beloved son.'
    Gn 22:13
    Then looking up, Abraham saw a ram caught by its horns in a bush.
    Gn 22:13
    Abraham took the ram and offered it as a burnt offering instead of his son.
    Gn 22:14
    Abraham called this place 'Yahweh provides', and hence the saying today, 'On the mountain Yahweh provides.'

    - The End -
  4. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0

    that was... funny? shit i dunno but i enjoyed it

    now i must go to court, to also, be judged

    but ill probably get probation or rehabilitative classes or some shit

    i dont think its gonna turn out quite as cool as abrahams adventure

  5. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    This makes reading the bible fun!
  6. Fabo 2

    Fabo 2 Guest

    Much love for the lego bible
  7. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
    good poop

    weird looking donkey tho.

    i wanna see moses' adventures tho.
  8. DEE38

    DEE38 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 8, 2001 Messages: 11,128 Likes Received: 13
    best thread ever!
  9. AeRoSoL JuNkiE

    AeRoSoL JuNkiE Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 1, 2000 Messages: 2,505 Likes Received: 0
  10. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    all i got was classes and all charges nollied

    looks like we both had an adventure, me and abe (i call him abe, you know... bein his buddy and all...) are goin for beers later, looks like the lego god could use a few also, he seems pretty pissed for some reason
  11. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    lego should make a bible
  12. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 7
    I cried at the part where the ram was caught in the bush, its just looked too helpless.... :(
  13. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    is this not very popular or what?
    maybe the next bible story i do i should label it SEX!
  14. 23578

    23578 Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2000 Messages: 2,521 Likes Received: 0
    the offering still had to be made, even though god said it was ok not to kill his son, apparently it's just supposed to be understood that niggas did that shit back then.

    willy, please make more bible stories come alive with legos.
  15. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    you can still find sacred alteres where they would sacrafice thier offerings..pretty cool.