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BEST MAN SPEECHES


The Dude

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so i am the best man at my friends wedding. my problem is that about 3 months ago i went to Tijuana and got kinda drunk at some bar and sang karaeoke, and i thought i sounded fine, but the only other English speaking person there person there other than my friends told me "YOU SUCK". ever since then i sort of have microphonophobia. so for my speech i kinda want to keep it short, but i dont really have much to say, so i need some help from some speechwriter types. help me out please.

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dude.... It's so simple.

 

You have it or you dont. Just confidence.

And try to picture them naked... expect for the mother of the bride.

 

Start with a bad joke, then just be honest and keep it short.

Make sure you go over how to pronounce everyones names with the groom.

Pic something that both the bride and groom love (say.... nascar?)

and make references to 'driving on the oval of love'.

 

Just speak clearly, into the mic, and dont sing... because for singing... you probably do SUCK!

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first of all congratulations on being chosen as best man...it is like being asked to get married by your homeboy in itself, as he is only asking his girl to marry him cos it's the socially accepted thing..but you know he likes you way more...

anyway my boys to-be wife was stressing me about a month before the actual wedding telling me that i had better have a best man speech or i'm out of the wedding altogether...so i was like yeah yeah no worries it will be sweet....got to the big day, it's my turn for the best man speech...i get up in front of everybody, i look to her and say, well i forgot to write a speech so i thought we'd fill some time with a mexican wave...you allow time for around 3 people to do the actual mexican wave and then of course let on that your not a complete anus but indeed do have a speeach ready to go...wheather it's a good speech or not, after putting the fear of god up the to-be wife by saying you don't have a speech....anything you do say will be gold...and gauranteed free food for the next year....

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