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BadGas_____________________________

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by BROWNer, Oct 3, 2003.

  1. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    symptoms:
    bloated gut.
    gaseous movements.

    uncouth:
    farting in class.
    farting on someone's head or face.
    cupping it, then bringing it up to your
    face for maximum nasal permeationsz.

    solution:
    exit populated vicinity and release.
    don't eat a fucking load of bran or
    beans..or.....

    questionairre:
    do you fart in the populated area anyhow?
    this could include a movie theatre(the ultimate no-no?)
    do you fart on your girlfriends face?

    aside:
    i had a friend who had a friend..this guy apparently was
    going out with an extremely hot woman..anyhow, he eventually got
    dumped becuz one morning he woke her up by squatting
    over her face with a naked crotch, then woke her up and
    gave her the smotherey funk airbrush. class act.
     
  2. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 441
    hahaha, what the fuck.
     
  3. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    the dreaded cinema fartsz!

    I blame the popcornz.
    Some foodsz just seem to bring out the gaszy fartsz.
    Maybe it's becuasze you end up eating a lot of air with
    every bite of poopcornsz. Movie Threatresz are just not safe anymore.
     
  4. CinchedWaist

    CinchedWaist Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 2,691 Likes Received: 1
    that shit is hilarious.
     
  5. the ultimate no-no is elevators
     
  6. CinchedWaist

    CinchedWaist Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 11, 2003 Messages: 2,691 Likes Received: 1
    how about the ultimate no-no being at my job
    receptionist, in a closed room all by myself
    so if any employees come in and i just let one go.....they all know who the culprit is.
    I hide under my desk in the fetal position and whimper until they go away.
     
  7. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    yea but you can exit the elevator with the quickness.
    the theatre you're stuck in the cloud unless you really want
    to get up and move and make a scene.

    i'll revise..
    the ultimate no-no has got to be first date gas blastsz.
    unless the chick annoys you off and then its all good..
     
  8. Swiffer Jet

    Swiffer Jet Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 14, 2003 Messages: 2,669 Likes Received: 0
    HOLLER!

    i don't mind if there's a fart smell in an air-conditioned room. but if it's the heater that's on...hell no.
     
  9. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 441
    if i am in a situation where my "special air" is going to conflict with my interests and/or intentions then i go to the restroom.
     
  10. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    hahaha, special air..

    it minorly irks me that i can't squeeze off.
    or if i really need to, then do, and think i'm safe
    from any interference, then somebody walks up
    fucking sits down right beside me...
    what do you say?

    usually nothing..heh...
     
  11. Elevators are uneasy places to begin with...even for two floors distance you get to inhale half the strangers special air...yikes.

    As far as first date:
    Heres a story.

    I was at a club with a friend, his girl..and her sister...after drinks and drinks me and the sis hooked. We went at the girls house. My friend and his girl went in the mutual sisters room, so we stayed at the couch..did what we did and then she went all over me and fell asleep...not exactly asleep though...it was the kind of cuddle sleep where you wake up and sleep all the time. As she was on me, her ass was pressing my special gas factory making want to fart like a dinosaur...my eyes kept closing only to wake up 1 minute later in agony...everytime i was feeling the gas armed...so i closed my eyes again...after 10 nap brakes..i wake up feeling RELIEVED...i still dont know what happened but i'm sure that couch has a hole...or burnt fiber
     
  12. Hahaha, to bad you dont smoke man.
    You light up a cig and keep peoples noses with that.
     
  13. And the story i told reminded me of another classic one.
    That friend of mine that was dating the older sister was telling me
    his technique on fart case #349/gh8: Farting in Bed

    He'd fart with his hands over the blanket (making sure no gas leaks towards their heads) then he would lift the blanket on its lower edge using his foot to create a ventilation hole...and finally he'd pretend he's scratching his chest over the blanket using vertical scratch strokes forcing the special gas to escape from the ventilation...

    i was laughing for 3 days with that one.
     
  14. PedroHammers

    PedroHammers Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 24, 2003 Messages: 403 Likes Received: 0
    what about the "first time with a new girl in a bed" gas?
    i know i am not the only one that gets that, or maybe i am.
     
  15. PedroHammers

    PedroHammers Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 24, 2003 Messages: 403 Likes Received: 0
    damn tesser, you touched on the subject while i was typing my reply. damn.
     
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