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attaining self suffciency

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Lush, Dec 5, 2001.

  1. Lush

    Lush Member

    Joined: Oct 31, 2000 Messages: 703 Likes Received: 0
    I had a rather large fight with my mother last wednesday at which time I stubbornly decided it was time to become self sufficient. Completely independant. I moved out on my own in spetember, lost my job half a month later, and have so far almost managed to pay for everything myself. However until this point I never refused the $150 my dad tucked into my hand every other week. T

    The fight with mom was over the sum of money I should recieve for my birthday. My sister had been given $500 by my parents, and mom was trying to give me $100. I just happeed to mention what my sister got, and mom freaked out. She was screaming about how I shouldn't have to compare everything (I also found out she was planning on taking jillyout shopping the next day). I haven't talked to mom since.

    She tried to put $150 in my account thurdsday, but I took it out and gave it to my sister (she was a bit shocked and confused). My dad came by today for my birthday with my nan, and sister (no mom) and tried to give me 200 or so $ which I flat out refused to take. he almost reduced me to tears for not taking it.

    I now feel like shit, but do not want a cent of their money. My boyfriend is mad at me for it, and my birthday sucked. I want to get loaded but have an exam tomorrow.

    I'm alternating between thinking I'm crazy, and feeling excelent for trying to support myself. I sound spoiled. I've decided this may be a bit hard, but I will come out of it with a stronger character with a significantly smaller wardrobe.
     
  2. usedtolove

    usedtolove New Jack

    Joined: Sep 19, 2001 Messages: 48 Likes Received: 0
    happy late birthday
     
  3. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 7, 2001 Messages: 3,638 Likes Received: 1
    funny, i had the same self sufficent fight this morning too, and two days ago, and last weekend....
    i think i need a life....
    OR,
    you can respond at "Can You Relate To Dr. Frink" where I go into detail about my life and how it sucks. I say if its a matter of principle, then do what you have to do, and accept it.....
    i really feel for you...i'm sorry.
     
  4. Lush

    Lush Member

    Joined: Oct 31, 2000 Messages: 703 Likes Received: 0
    I keep alternating between, my mom's a bitch and I should spend all her money, and I want to make mom feel like shit and not touch any of her money (or dads because he'll bring it up with her).

    I was an extremely spoiled kid and still would be if I wasn't so stubborn. They used to pay my visa bill and everything..... My boyfriend s mad because I don't have a job so unless a miracle happens I won't have rent for january. He can't believ I just refused about $400 total.
     
  5. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 7, 2001 Messages: 3,638 Likes Received: 1
    seems to me (and keep in mind this is internet frink talking) that your boyfriend should be more supportive of you. He shold understnad your motives and not be mad. Why would that solve anyhting. I would say he need to keep in check, but I am just being silly and I am tired..let me know if you know what I mean
     
  6. boxcarwilly

    boxcarwilly Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 8, 2000 Messages: 1,288 Likes Received: 0
    my girl just went through the same deal. on her struggle to be independent, the whole we will not pay for you to live like you want to (tattoos, living with me etc) so when she decides to make it on her own without them fully supporting everything they flipped their shit. made it seem like the world ended her dad drove up from jersey and tried to convice her to stay in school and that she is the biggest idiot on the planet because she doesnt know shit about shit etc etc etc you see he was a Marine and Marines handle interrogation well. she is crazy according to them because as a writing major one would think one needs experience to write well not most parents... you can be a novelist like jim clancy or any of our nations most respected writers (*catch the sarcasm i am throwing it like nolan fucking ryan) directly out of college.
    well this has all led both of us into a corner, my parents and i dont get along super well, like not well enough to ask them to borrow the money for a new apartment in Boston. and she has made up her mind not to ask for money so lush the situation is mucho similar.

    i wish you luck in your self sufficiency. it is quite fun. i have been on the lamb from parental support for about seven yrs and believe me it is hell. but when you do accomplish something believe me how great it feels.
     
  7. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    Zack Morris is also on the road to self sufficiency. I just turned in a resume at a job where I will be making 28k..after taxes I will barely have enough to live on and make my car payment but its better than being here and listening to how I am going to hell for my ink and piercings. My parents have almost cut me off enirely so I have resorted to pulling my own weight by stealing books and selling them on ebay and doing graphics and things of that nature. I'm still not where I want to be but hopefully things will get better. The only advice I have for you lush is get out there and get a job ya fuckin bum ;) Type up your resume and get a good cover letter...if your nice to me I will send you mine to change..its not like I wrote it anyways...but jest get your resume and info circulating around.
     
  8. got tha feva

    got tha feva Guest

    I don't understand how this has anything to do with self suffienciency. You don't have a job, and you just refused your only source of income. That's not very responsible. Maybe they gave your sister more money for her birthday because they give you a substancial amount of money to pay rent and utilities over the year. Plus they take you shopping and probably bought your car and pay for your insurance and school as well. I just can't see how you don't work, and you live, and your boyfriend lives, and you can get mad at your parents for trying to give you $100 for your birthday. Like they some how owe you anything at all after you are 18. Bottom line, if you want to be self sufficient, you're going to have to work.. If not, then I think you should just appologize to your parents, take a bigger look and appreciate everything they do for you.. not just a gift.
     
  9. bobobi11

    bobobi11 Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 15, 2000 Messages: 2,807 Likes Received: 0
    Have to agree with got the feva. You quickly learn in life that self-sufficiency and responsibility rely heavily on learning when to ask for help. I also agree that if Dad has been slipping you $300 or so a month, you shouldn't get pissed if you sis got more for her birthday. How much has she been a financial drain on the parents?
     
  10. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    im the only one in my family that is self sufficient.including my 34 year old brother. it aint hard. once you're working that is. jsut figure out your budget, ajnd stick to it. it's doesnt take more than 10 minutes. take your income, take out rent, food, utilities. and try not to go over. and food doesnt include going out.. going out its what kills ya, it's like 5x more expensive than at home.. but i eat like shit. i live like travis bickle though.
     
  11. Lush

    Lush Member

    Joined: Oct 31, 2000 Messages: 703 Likes Received: 0
    when they make a trip to my apartment they make a trip to her apartment. dad always slips us the same amount of money.
    they have not been paying my rent. I had money saved up from the job I lost to last me until now, plus I do a few odd jobs. The money dad has given me went to whatever. clothes, liquor, silly things I don't need and can do without. I gave back my car, my sister kept hers, plus they keep paying her parking tickets, gas and insurance (I always paid my own). Mom takes her shopping twice a month and buys all her clothes (mom hasn't bought me clothes since last spring). I cost a great deal less than my sister. So to sum up she is twice the financial drain I am because my father gave to both of us, but my mother gave to one (it's all dads money in the end). She is also two years older.
     
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