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Ask Milton Volume III


Milton

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I'm getting kind of bored with Ch0 and so I am starting this again, feel free to ask me anything. Best way to hook up an 82 Chevy Celebrity? Ask Milton. A good sexual position with a girl thats 4'7''? Ask Milton. Best time of year to harvest Morrocan poppy? Ask Milton...

 

You know the drill...

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Milton,

 

Sometime this week I am going interview for a job in Doha, Qatar. What do you think about that? Should I leave the US for 2+ years to pick up some cash, experience (work and life), and middle eastern hoes? Drop teh knowledge.

 

Wonk,

J

 

 

Edit: for Doha

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We know that all states of the wavefunctions must be quantized. Therefore, when we have a particle, say an electron, trapped in a well with infinite potentials on either side - let's set the boundaries to the traditional -1/2L to 1/2L - the ground state of the energy must give us a wavelength which must be, at most, 1/2lambda=L. We then can have n number of 1/2lambdas within the well, and we can describe those states alternatingly with Cos and Sin functions - but n must be a whole integer - otherwise the state is not quantized. Now, suppose we inject a single electron, at a velocity of .01c, let's be more specific about it and say 1x10^6 m/s, into a well that is 4 Angstroms wide - i.e. from -1/2L to 1/2L, we have a space spanning 4 Angstroms. We know, from the DeBroglie relation that the wavelength of the electron at that speed is approximately 7 Angstroms. What happens when the electron enters that well? Will the energy state immediately adapt to a quantized level - and if so, will it immediately fall to ground state or will it adapt to the nearest frequency which allows whole numbers of half wavelengths in the 4 Angstrom well? Or does the whole system just break down?

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Originally posted by j

Milton,

 

Sometime this week I am going interview for a job in Doha, Qatar. What do you think about that? Should I leave the US for 2+ years to pick up some cash, experience (work and life), and middle eastern hoes? Drop teh knowledge.

 

Wonk,

J

 

 

Edit: for Doha

 

I think you should definitely go for the job, the experience would be great. What kind of work would you be doing? I have a friend that went to Morroco in the Peace Corps and he says it was the greatest 2 years he's spent in his life, just for the experience of another culture if nothing else. In most middle eastern countries you can rent a full house for 250 a month, and life is cheap as can be, I guess it really depends on how much you are going to make, but you could save a bundle if you don't live frivilously (sp?). It also looks great on resumes if you have worked overseas. As for the middle eastern hoes, if you are looking for easy women you will find just that, prostitutes. Many will not allow you to have regular intercourse with them but prefer the "back entrance" so to speak, as to maintain their viriginty. If you are into this coffee houses are the best place to go, if you let them know you're an english speaker and american you will have many offers, just be careful not to get ripped off. 10 bucks is great, 20 bucks is expensive. Have fun, use protection... If you go bring me back a hookah...

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Originally posted by CAPiTA

We know that all states of the wavefunctions must be quantized. Therefore, when we have a particle, say an electron, trapped in a well with infinite potentials on either side - let's set the boundaries to the traditional -1/2L to 1/2L - the ground state of the energy must give us a wavelength which must be, at most, 1/2lambda=L. We then can have n number of 1/2lambdas within the well, and we can describe those states alternatingly with Cos and Sin functions - but n must be a whole integer - otherwise the state is not quantized. Now, suppose we inject a single electron, at a velocity of .01c, let's be more specific about it and say 1x10^6 m/s, into a well that is 4 Angstroms wide - i.e. from -1/2L to 1/2L, we have a space spanning 4 Angstroms. We know, from the DeBroglie relation that the wavelength of the electron at that speed is approximately 7 Angstroms. What happens when the electron enters that well? Will the energy state immediately adapt to a quantized level - and if so, will it immediately fall to ground state or will it adapt to the nearest frequency which allows whole numbers of half wavelengths in the 4 Angstrom well? Or does the whole system just break down?

 

I have to admit, molecular physics was never my strong suit, but I'll have a go at it. I think your answer is simpler than you're making it out to be. I you inject an electron with a wavelength of 7 Angstroms into a well with a space of 4 Angstroms the system cannot possibly continue in a rational matter, it just doesn't make sense logically. I would have to in this case choose the asnwer "the whole system just breaks down."

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Originally posted by Poop Man Bob

What options do museums have when faced with a claim that they are in possession of stolen or looted artwork?

 

Something has gone completely awry when you are asking me for legal advice. In that light my answer is simple; in the words of Old Dirty Bastard "Tighten your timbs up and run like hell..."

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Originally posted by gfreshsushi

what are the names of some reliable, cheap, underground vinyl pressing companies? all of the companies i've had reccomended are either way too pricey or have no shame in supporting mainstream music.

 

The best I have found is a shop in Ontario called "Acme Vinyl" (www.acmevinyl.com) Which will run 300 vinyl records for just over 1000. But this is truely a challenge as most companies are either too big and mainstreamish or too small and expensive.

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Originally posted by Mr. Whoopy

Is it possible for God to microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?

 

I will assume for arguments sake that you are referring to a Judeo-Christian "God" and not a diety of another religion. Using this religious context, in a word the answer is no, it would be impossible for God to microwave a burrito to this extent. The reasoning is that God as an all powerful all knowing being would be able to cook the burrito to an infinite temperature but as all powerful it could never be hot enough that he could not eat it. The bigger question here is why would God want a burrito? Does God even eat?

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milton, my band just recorded a demo for free by a friend who just got out of college for recording and mixing, the recording sounds great, but not the best.more like "fairly good, not great" as cool as it is for the recording sesh being free and all...i just want better...and my friend who owns the drum shop (sandy from BOULDER DRUMS)(also he was the drummer for FIRE FALL) has the possibly most fucking ownege studio built in his basement. im talking profesional sound wall fixtures, a 57 plug mixer with digital divide (doubles the plugs) 3 G5 macs all loaded with pro sound recording shit, a PC with more shit... 5 drumsets, 25 snair drums, 12 amps(bass and guitar) 3 plexy glass sound rooms next to each other for seperate but allowing to play at the same time with visual contact. free lunch and dinner (his wife is mad cook!) and free 60 CDs with covers and cases all done PRO! AND ALL THIS FOR THE HIGH HIGH PRICE OF $50 an hour!

 

thats alot of fucking cash! and the band wont be together vearry soon because we all have to go to seperate colleges..should we stick with the free shit...or should we go out and totally make a sick album with Sandy and spend mutcho cash? (one of sandys guys who helps him was in a metal group for a long time so he knows how to mix it RIGHT)

 

 

im stuck...help me.

 

CRAMPS!

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Dear Milton,

 

My girlfriend has developed a drinking problem. When she becomes drunk, she becomes physically and mentally unatractive. Her family and me are very supoportive of her through her problem. The bad part is, she gets drunk every day. I dont think I can handle this anymore. What should I do?

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Originally posted by ARCEL

Eeeeeeeuuuuuaaaaghhhhhhh Auuuuuugggggaaaaggh

Oooooooowwwwauuughaaaaaughaaaauuuggh

 

What is a poorly executed crab scratch, alex...

 

milton, my band just recorded a demo for free by a friend who just got out of college for recording and mixing, the recording sounds great, but not the best.more like "fairly good, not great" as cool as it is for the recording sesh being free and all...i just want better...and my friend who owns the drum shop (sandy from BOULDER DRUMS)(also he was the drummer for FIRE FALL) has the possibly most fucking ownege studio built in his basement. im talking profesional sound wall fixtures, a 57 plug mixer with digital divide (doubles the plugs) 3 G5 macs all loaded with pro sound recording shit, a PC with more shit... 5 drumsets, 25 snair drums, 12 amps(bass and guitar) 3 plexy glass sound rooms next to each other for seperate but allowing to play at the same time with visual contact. free lunch and dinner (his wife is mad cook!) and free 60 CDs with covers and cases all done PRO! AND ALL THIS FOR THE HIGH HIGH PRICE OF $50 an hour!

 

This question is highly dependent on what you want to achieve with your bands career. If you are seriously dedicated to making music your life, and you are honestly and objectively good enough to get a serious record deal than I would say pay the 50 bucks an hour. You are not going to find a better hook up than somebody you know and that sounds like a pretty good price for what you're describing. The experience I have in the music industry comes solely from a few friends I have that did promotions for Roc A Fella. What they tell me is if you are serious about music your demo needs to be completely bulletproof. If it sounds like you recorded it in your aunts basement you will get passed over with the pile of "ya they have a pretty cool sound but they're not great" mass of demos that companies get. You said you are seperating soon to go to college, and I think it is pretty clear that you are more dedicated to education than to music (which is the best choice you can make), but that means your demo would only be out for a few months before the band splits up. There is basically no way to make it in the music industry in that short amount of time. So if music is really secondary to eductaion, which it should be, you should be good with the demo you have. If you were going to spend the next 3 years pushing your demo to every record company you could find and trying to get gigs every night I would say for sure get the mix right. So it all depends on where you're going in life... Sorry about the non answer kind of answer.

 

What would chairs look like if our knee's were backwards?

 

Human beings would not be able to walk forward if our legs worked backwards, so the chair question is a little bit pointless. Anyway, the basis of the chair is the seat which would be the same if our knees bent backwards the only difference would be placement of the back of the chair which could still be as it is today. Humans knees evolved as they did for a reason.

 

My girlfriend has developed a drinking problem. When she becomes drunk, she becomes physically and mentally unatractive. Her family and me are very supoportive of her through her problem. The bad part is, she gets drunk every day. I dont think I can handle this anymore. What should I do?

 

I could give you the generic "you need to support her and talk and communicate" advice, but I'm not going to. I'm going to be honest, if you are not "in love" with this girl already leave no before things get worse support her as her friend with the potential of coming back when shes clean if its worth it. This is a situation you DO NOT want to get into if you can avoid it. I know thats heartless and terrible to say, but I know a few couples like this. One of them put a hole in my fucking wall when they were arguing, she beat on him when he was drunk in public, he beat on her etc. So honestly if you do not have the self control to withstand this and support her, end things now and continue to support her as a friend.

 

If you are in love with her at this point you need to communicate how you feel. What you said in your question is probably a good start, something to the effect of "I care about you a lot, but when you drink you become physically and mentally unattractive. I'm trying to help you through this and support you, but you need to try too. etc." You have to be able to do three things, 1. Continue to maintain your calm through the bullshit she is going to pull because she doesn't realize or admit she has a problem 2. Refuse to enable her addiction, if you are going out for drinks or even having a beer when you get home it rubs off and makes it that much harder to quit and 3. You have to be tough enough to be hard on her when she's fucking up. The tough thing is that convincing somebody something especially as personal as that about themselves takes a lot of work and time. You have to also realize that she may leave, and you have to understand that that is just a reaction and denial. But getting clean is absolutely what she needs, and if you do make it through the hard times you're relationship will be infinitely stronger because you did it together...

 

MILTON

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Originally posted by Pfffffffffft

Milton,

 

question #1-

 

what is your last name?

 

question #2-

 

Is the art of being a vantriliquest a thing of the past?

 

1. My full name is Milton Wadams.

 

2. The art of ventriloquism though not dead has clearly been losing popularity. Actually "Ventriloquism got its start in ancient times, somewhere around the sixth century BC" and was looked down for centuries by the Christian Church because it was originally used for divination and other ceremonies not liked by the church. However it eventually gained acceptance and popularity. Modern ventriloquism was founded by a man named Fred Russell in the late nineteenth century. He was the first to use a dummy on stage with him which would "speak." The popularity of ventriloquism grew and reached its hay-day with the show Lamb Chop and Sherri Lewis'. Since this show was cancelled in the 1960's ventriloquism has slowly been losing popularity and has been "dying" ever since.

 

milton.....why did I so narrowly escape a DUI tonight?

 

I am obligated to assure you that driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs is not a practice you should partake in on a regular basis. As you're close call has probably enlightend for you it has consequences which range from going to jail, to worse. But you already knew that, so here are a few tips that work for me in sobering up. If you have to get somewhere right away, take a cab and ask the driver if you can be picked up and taken back to your car in the morning. (This is really the only way to be 100 percent sure and if you are drunk to the point where you notice you should not be driving. Take a simple test, move your head quickly from side to side and if your eyes follow noticably slower do not drive.) Otherwise you can do a few things. 1. Walk around the block, the cold air will clear your head. Clubs have the side effect of making you more intoxicated because they are so hot and crowded, getting out for even a few minutes can do wonders. Also, park a little further away if you can so that you can sober up on the way to the car. 2. If you have more time drink black coffee. I know its cliche but the few minutes you spend outside of the nightclub/party will help you sober up and the caffine increases your awareness. Cigarettes work as well. 3. Eat, not mcdonalds, eat at a restaurant. The 30/45 minutes or more you spend ordering and eating will make you that much more sober, and food is good to absorb the alcohol so the after effects will not last. Also drink cold water with your food so that you can prevent the hangover. Remember 1 shot of liquor one glass of water... And don't drive drunk...

 

milton, do you have the links to the previous "ask milton" series?

 

I too tried to use the search button and found nothing. I am a failure indeed.

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I feel incredibly blessed to be honored with Sunglass Smiley Status...

 

I want to thank all the little people who made this possible by running back and forth to the library on unicycles to look up answers to your questions. I couldn't have done it without you...

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Guest sneak
Originally posted by Milton

I too tried to use the search button and found nothing. I am a failure indeed.

 

this is a conundrum. if anyone can help with this id be v. gratefull. any idea what they were called mr milton?

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ok well milton theres this girl i like nd we quite close m8s nd she sorta still likes my best m8 but they split up nd she dont like him but cant get ova him nd i was talking to my best mate bout saying i like her nd he said i shud go for it bout like going out with her. i just told her tonight that i liked her nd now i dont really not wot to do. what now? bare in mind im 15

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