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An intricate string of lies. (aka: my life)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by iloveboxcars, May 29, 2004.

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  1. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    I am a compulsive liar. I build and build more and more lies on top of each other and each person gets a different set of lies. I lie to basically everyone (other than my ex girlfriend). For instance, I just got done convincing a friend of mine that I have OCD I am just really good at hiding it... during the time I was convincing her of my problem I started thinking of all the ways I could do subtle things to make it seem like I do, in fact, have OCD.

    I guess to a certain extent I do have OCD.. I do not feel accomplished if I have not lied to someone recently. I get anxiety.. the kind of anxiety cigarettes do not cure. Sometimes I forget which lies I used on who. Sometimes I use the same basic lie but go about telling it in different ways and I forget who got which version.

    A problem with the lie I mentioned earlier is sometimes, considering how much I hang out with the person who was told the lie, the lie actually becomes a part of my habits. It happens without me knowing it, and when I do realize it's too late. I understand that I already have a slight case of OCD, but if I continue with this one it will definately grow into something more serious.

    I have considered telling her I was lying.. but that would be getting caught. That's another thing I "pride" myself on. I have never been caught in a lie. Sometimes it gets a little messy but I am always able to explain my way out of anything. Sometimes I can even convince myself that the lie was never actually a lie.

    I just needed somewhere to write this down where no one I know from the real world will find it. Respond however you wish.
     
  2. GucciCondom

    GucciCondom Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2003 Messages: 5,558 Likes Received: 168
  3. High Priest

    High Priest Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 1, 2002 Messages: 4,928 Likes Received: 3
  4. SilentBob

    SilentBob Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2002 Messages: 683 Likes Received: 1
    I knew a guy who did the exact same shit non stop. I'de meet people for the first time and they'de be like "ohh silent bob, you know ***** he told me about the time you guys did all that graffiti. Man that sounds crazy". This guy didn't even write though and would just make up these crazy stories invovling me for the hell of it. And it wasn't cos he wanted to be a writer or anything. He'de make up all kinds of crazy shit.

    I think he's stoped doing this though because he's in jail atm and would probably get into to some grief for talking ish.

    I think mabye it's just a cry for attention. If she's a good friend you should probably come clean.
     
  5. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0
    considering that you're telling us about how badly you lie ...


    why should we believe you :D
     
  6. EyeforAnEYE

    EyeforAnEYE Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 29, 2003 Messages: 4,199 Likes Received: 3
    what a tangled web we weave
     
  7. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    I'm positive it isn't a cry for attention, I am not one to look for attention. Sometimes it's just space filler.. but most of the time I get that anxiety shit. Yeah.
     
  8. ment2

    ment2 New Jack

    Joined: Apr 16, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 0
    if it was a cry for attention it would probably be a subconsciouss one anyway though.

    i think you should come clean with everyone. i recently realized how much i lie, and sort of realized how people start building the whole way they interact with people on lies... you can turn into a real scandalous person real quick. eventually you get to the point where you're jacking your friends, going behind everyones back, etc., considering people you care about expendable and in your head its all rationalized and ok, in a completely self centered way. thats sort of a different type of lying than what you're describing i guess but i could definitely see that shit happening if it hasnt allready.
     
  9. SilentBob

    SilentBob Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2002 Messages: 683 Likes Received: 1
    Thats really strange that you get anxious if you don't lie to someone. Normally I get anxious if I have lied to someone and I have to maintain the whole thing.

    Umm at the risk of sounding very 'Dr.Phil'. Do you not like yourself or something? If you get nervous because you havn't lied to someone it sort of infers your worried about being yourself infront of people.

    As for space fillers. If I had nothing of interest to say in social settings, I used to make up an outlandish story and when people went "wow you did that? Holy shit! Really?"... I'de say "actually, no.. I just made it up.. but that was an exciting 10 minutes or so wasn't it?" Mabye you could try doing that instead.
     
  10. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    It's completely harmless, I don't lie to people I actually care about.. it may just be a way for me to pass the time in my head.. I don't know. As for liking myself.. well, on the one hand I think I am the greatest person ever, on the other hand I think I'm a complete loser/idiot.. I don't know how to explain that.
     
  11. SilentBob

    SilentBob Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2002 Messages: 683 Likes Received: 1
    Yeah I can relate to that double self image thing... I think alot of people have that going on.

    I don't know, in saying its harmless I get the impression your kidding yourself a little. If you lie to everyone except your ex girl, that means she's the only person you care about? Thats pretty full on. Also I think what fUD said is relevant. I think most people are fundementally good. The reason they do things that are bad is because they either justify it to themselves or they are just really bitter.

    I'm not accusing you of being scum or anything but it sounds like your justifying your compulsive lying to yourself. ( I think most people have done that at some point)
     
  12. Pinup

    Pinup Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 13, 2003 Messages: 2,208 Likes Received: 0
    So is this why the befuddled & angry send you dead cats in the mail ?

    ....wait. Was that true ?
     
  13. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    I don't lie here because I get no satisfaction out of it.

    Yeah, it did happen.

    I don't lie in writing because sometimes I forget certain mundane details that will screw me over in the long run.

    I probably am just justifying it to myself.. but to say the only person I care about is my ex girlfriend is not a farce at all. I grew up in a family where we all just did our own thing. I have a basic knowledge of my family members but it stops there.


    And I am pretty bitter towards most people.
     
  14. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,505 Likes Received: 440
    also, I don't understand where you would get the idea that my lying to people would some how get them to send me dead cats. No one, except my ex, knows I'm a compulsive liar, and she loves cats.
     
  15. Pinup

    Pinup Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 13, 2003 Messages: 2,208 Likes Received: 0
    fuzzy logic.
    boxcars lied to me, i think i'll send him a fuzzy dead mammal.

    it could happen. this is a world where people stick plastic up their bum to let out spaghetti shaped shits.

    either way, that cat story just made me laugh, and asking you whether it was true or not was a joke.
    conclusion : new ยง .
     
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