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An Appointment With Tyler Durden (Tyler Interview Thread)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by IntangibleFame, Sep 27, 2002.

  1. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 7
    DrkstBld=Tyler Durden

    BuDdAhMoI7k: So your Tyler Durden?
    DrkstBld: thats what my mom sewed into my thong.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: You like wearing thongs?
    DrkstBld: not often, they tend to ride up. thats really more of a canadian thing.
    DrkstBld: the guys in thongs i mean.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: oh
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so your really popular on 12oz huh
    DrkstBld: i dont know
    DrkstBld: i dont tend to find my way into those "family" or "bar b que" posts or whatever
    DrkstBld: its all for the best though.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Bar B que posts? explain
    DrkstBld: the things where the guys do the stuff....and they all wear shirts.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: oh ok
    DrkstBld: actually.
    DrkstBld: i have no idea what the bar b que stuff has to do with anything.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: how do you feel about the people who post on 12oz?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: im fairly indifferent to most of them.
    DrkstBld: its just words on a screen that occasionally make me giggle.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: I heard your good friends with Teaser
    DrkstBld: who said that?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: I dont remember...
    DrkstBld: thats what i thought.
    DrkstBld: im fairly indifferent to him too i guess.
    DrkstBld: next question.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: How did you become affiliated with the ioks
    DrkstBld: goddamn kazaa...cockblockin me from gettin some raylene porn.
    DrkstBld: ummmm
    DrkstBld: a bunch of us made it. we knew that kittens were selling crystal meth to little kids on the street. personally, i hate kids, but i like to kill things.
    DrkstBld: mmmmmm brownies.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: im sorry
    BuDdAhMoI7k: some bum was wanting in my house
    BuDdAhMoI7k: i had to go regulate
    DrkstBld: cool
    DrkstBld: i ate at sizzler tonite
    BuDdAhMoI7k: alot of times bums wonder in my house
    DrkstBld: assholes said i couldnt get the grilled cheese.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: mainly my mom
    DrkstBld: becaues its on the kids meal.
    DrkstBld: and im over the age of 10
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so i tell her to sleep outside and its over
    DrkstBld: im all like "no shit. i just want my grilled cheese"
    DrkstBld: so they charged me an extra buck
    DrkstBld: THEN they brought it out
    DrkstBld: it sucked
    DrkstBld: i mean
    DrkstBld: it wasnt bad
    DrkstBld: but it wasnt anything to write home about.
    DrkstBld: so i ended up snorting lines of sugar off the table and downing sugar packets.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: grilled cheese sucks ass
    BuDdAhMoI7k: even at Zippys
    DrkstBld: i did 27, till they took my sugar away.
    DrkstBld: yeah
    DrkstBld: it really does.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ok back to the questions
    DrkstBld: super.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you ever wanna be kidnapped?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: yes.
    DrkstBld: by the brazilian girls soccer team
    BuDdAhMoI7k: i think that would be really fun
    DrkstBld: when theyre partiulary worked up into a frenzy of horny-ness. yes. yes it would.
    DrkstBld: oodles.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you feel you are addicited?
    DrkstBld: to what?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: tell me a story tyler
    DrkstBld: what about?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: that one time
    BuDdAhMoI7k: remember
    DrkstBld: ummm
    DrkstBld: the time i punched that baby?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: yup
    DrkstBld: ah
    DrkstBld: yeah
    DrkstBld: that was when i was walking to taco bell for a go go tacquito or something and saw some baby by itself on a corner in a carriage
    BuDdAhMoI7k: haha that makes me laugh every time
    DrkstBld: so i smacked the baby.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so anyways
    DrkstBld: a thicket is a bunch of bushes or woods i think.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: why doy uo come back everyday to 12oz
    DrkstBld: i read about it in "the velveteen rabbit" i think.
    DrkstBld: hmmmmm
    DrkstBld: i dont know actually....
    DrkstBld: its the only site on the internet i go to really.
    DrkstBld: which is the worst part
    DrkstBld: the whole time im online, im on 12oz.
    DrkstBld: and thats truly pathetic.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Do you have "beef" with Pistol?
    DrkstBld: but
    DrkstBld: ummmmm
    DrkstBld: why would i?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ill ask the questions here
    DrkstBld: fine, be a cunt.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you like reading?
    DrkstBld: just for the sake of throwing gas on the fire
    DrkstBld: ill probably kill him.
    DrkstBld: reading? yes.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Whats the last book you read?
    DrkstBld: chuck palahniuk is a great man.
    DrkstBld: ummm
    DrkstBld: im trying to get my hands on "lullaby" which is chucky palahniuks new book. but im reading "the sun also rises" by hemingway right now at my leisure.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: whats the last porn you watched?
    DrkstBld: hahahaha
    DrkstBld: thats funny
    DrkstBld: im watching some porn with raylene right now.
    DrkstBld: i dont know what its called though.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: I have one of her movies
    DrkstBld: sometimes, i want to punch blind people and pretend someone else did it.
    DrkstBld: things like that make me giggle in class.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: a dvd i borrowed for a long period of time for the store
    BuDdAhMoI7k: she dies in the end
    BuDdAhMoI7k: I cried
    DrkstBld: well at least she dies.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Whats your favortie animal?
    DrkstBld: i wake up sometimes and just wish the earth would crash into the sun. very fastly.
    DrkstBld: ummm
    DrkstBld: hmmmmmmmmm
    DrkstBld: pandas.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: why?
    DrkstBld: i want to hunt them for their ear cartlidge, then when theres one left, ill keep it and then publicly execute it and throw the blood all over school children.
    DrkstBld: just to anger people.
    DrkstBld: then ill paint pictures of doves.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Do you consider yourself the anti-christ?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: people ask me that alof for some reason.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Do you like ot eat green beans?
    DrkstBld: no, i dont though.
    DrkstBld: nah
    DrkstBld: i dont eat alot of vegetables.
    DrkstBld: im the least vegetarian vegetarian ever.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: true story
    DrkstBld: spectacular
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Who is your favotie person on 12oz?
    DrkstBld: umm
    DrkstBld: boboboboboboboboboiii 13 or whatever that person was. they were nice.
    DrkstBld: sorry, thats the william faulkner talking.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: bobobobobobi13 was one of those people who dont people like you and me....and try to slip us carcinogens in our sleep
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so we contract cancer 8 years later
    DrkstBld: well
    DrkstBld: it sure is.
    DrkstBld: i threaten to kill my girlfriend like........5 times a day.
    DrkstBld: then again, i didnt vote. so whatever.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Whats your favorite tv show to watch?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: until the new season of the simpsons, anything on the history channel
    BuDdAhMoI7k: whats that?
    DrkstBld: its a show
    DrkstBld: about marvels
    DrkstBld: and theyre modern
    DrkstBld: (oooohs and ahhhhhs)
    BuDdAhMoI7k: wow
    BuDdAhMoI7k: i dont have cable
    DrkstBld: every time my girl talks to me im like "have you ever loved something so much you had to kill it?"
    DrkstBld: and she just looks at me
    DrkstBld: and asks if im going to kill her
    BuDdAhMoI7k: i get to watch the WB all day because thats the only channel I get
    DrkstBld: "not yet" is my response.
    DrkstBld: that sucks
    DrkstBld: i shed a solitary tear for you
    BuDdAhMoI7k: after 4 weeks you learn to like Dawsons Creek, and Charmed
    DrkstBld: good to see that losing your heterosexuality hasnt embittered you.
    DrkstBld: my eyes burn with the fires of a thousand chlydias.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Do you like Zebras?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: theyre kind of like horses
    DrkstBld: and horses kick
    DrkstBld: and that scares me
    DrkstBld: so zebras kind of scare me
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ahhhh
    DrkstBld: plus they make fucked up noises
    DrkstBld: you never know where you stand with a zebra really.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: So bascially you feel that time management is important as a student
    DrkstBld: im bad at that
    DrkstBld: i didnt go to my 2-d class tonite.
    DrkstBld: i went to sizzler. got a sticker that says " flirt" from a sticker machine. then drove an hour and walked some tracks in the pouring rain and came home.
    DrkstBld: thats what i said when i got kicked out the first 2 times
    DrkstBld: however
    DrkstBld: now its either tyler gets a fulltime job or tyler does good in school.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Do you feel that wearing boxing gloves is essential to a mexicans wrestlers lifestyle?
    DrkstBld: so tyler has to do good in school to avoid fulltime job, rent, and all that crap.
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: wrestlers arent boxers.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: thats the thing
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so anyways now that we solved that
    BuDdAhMoI7k: how would you feel if a you sponsored a hobo
    BuDdAhMoI7k: and he slept on your floor at night
    DrkstBld: i dunno
    DrkstBld: theres a guy that walks around town here with a razor glued to a paint stirring stick. hes pretty cool.
    DrkstBld: id sponsor him
    BuDdAhMoI7k: awesome
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you like care bears or my little pony
    DrkstBld: i used to watch care bears mad long ago
    DrkstBld: it isnt on anymore though
    BuDdAhMoI7k: He-man or Transformers
    DrkstBld: transformers no doubt
    BuDdAhMoI7k: word
    BuDdAhMoI7k: whos your favorite?
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: soundwave
    DrkstBld: and those little tapes that came out of him and turned into jackals and shit
    BuDdAhMoI7k: How do you feel about people riding razor scooters at skateparks?
    DrkstBld: it provides me with entertainment. and an easy target for my bike throwing anger behaviors.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: I heard you like to attend house parties
    DrkstBld: only with fireworks.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so I hear
    BuDdAhMoI7k: whats the story behind that?
    DrkstBld: everyone does.
    DrkstBld: i dont like people. so i try to burn down their houses with fireworks.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: How do you go about this?
    DrkstBld: walk in
    DrkstBld: light fuze
    DrkstBld: throw
    DrkstBld: laugh
    DrkstBld: laugh
    DrkstBld: run
    DrkstBld: laugh
    DrkstBld: laugh
    BuDdAhMoI7k: awnser this question
    DrkstBld: run
    BuDdAhMoI7k: An assisted reproductive technology (art) in what one or more eggs are fertilized outside a female's body?
    DrkstBld: laugh laugh laugh
    DrkstBld: new zealand.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: invitro fertilization
    BuDdAhMoI7k: but close enough
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ill give it to you
    DrkstBld: sweet.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: if you could lightfireworks in 1 12oz users house during their house party who would it be?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: and why?
    DrkstBld: **Edited**
    DrkstBld: gas on the fire gas on the fire
    BuDdAhMoI7k: you know im going to have to delete that right?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: because im DPC
    DrkstBld: sucks for you.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ....
    BuDdAhMoI7k: so try someone else
    DrkstBld: ok
    DrkstBld: the **Editied**
    DrkstBld: all of them.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: .......
    BuDdAhMoI7k: im also with them
    BuDdAhMoI7k: try again
    DrkstBld: really? you dont say.
    DrkstBld: ummm
    DrkstBld: that bitch **Edited**
    DrkstBld: yeah.
    DrkstBld: him.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: .........
    BuDdAhMoI7k: besides me
    DrkstBld: ok fine whorehag.
    DrkstBld: ummmm
    DrkstBld: ok
    DrkstBld: keeping with the supposed "beef" with **$%#. ill say **$%#.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you really hate me that much?
    DrkstBld: i hate everyone kind of.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: besides him hes a nightowl
    DrkstBld: oh shutup pansy
    DrkstBld: theyre all nightowls
    BuDdAhMoI7k: my point exactly
    BuDdAhMoI7k: choose someone else
    DrkstBld: fine
    DrkstBld: **Edited**
    DrkstBld: there
    DrkstBld: ok?
    DrkstBld: **Edited**
    DrkstBld: great.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: .........
    BuDdAhMoI7k: let me check on that
    BuDdAhMoI7k: seems clean
    BuDdAhMoI7k: but I swear she was a Nightowl....
    BuDdAhMoI7k: just to be on the safe side
    BuDdAhMoI7k: choose someone else...
    DrkstBld: its ironic that you say 'seems clean' in relation to **Edited**.
    DrkstBld: sigh
    DrkstBld: A Fire Inside
    DrkstBld: ok?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: is that a person?
    DrkstBld: yes
    BuDdAhMoI7k: Ill just agree with that
    DrkstBld: k
    BuDdAhMoI7k: if you could meet one person ever who would it be?
    DrkstBld: off 12oz? or in general?
    BuDdAhMoI7k: we will shoot for 12oz first
    DrkstBld: hmmm
    DrkstBld: probably mr. Ctrl.Alt.Dlt
    BuDdAhMoI7k: You know hes my homeboy
    DrkstBld: thats great
    BuDdAhMoI7k: yhea hes a funny guy
    DrkstBld: he sure is
    DrkstBld: yeah
    DrkstBld: playahataz
    BuDdAhMoI7k: do you like clowns?
    DrkstBld: nah
    DrkstBld: theyre weird fucks.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: i know
    BuDdAhMoI7k: whats your favorite quote?
    DrkstBld: "youd be surprised how far a mixture of apathy and horse tranquilizers will take you"
    BuDdAhMoI7k: wow
    BuDdAhMoI7k: true story?
    DrkstBld: yeah
    BuDdAhMoI7k: tell me about that other story
    DrkstBld: zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    DrkstBld: sleeep for tyler now
    BuDdAhMoI7k: ok
    BuDdAhMoI7k: can you leave us with one last word?
    DrkstBld: ummmm
    DrkstBld: futtbucking.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: awesome
    DrkstBld: yes.
    BuDdAhMoI7k: thanks for your time
    DrkstBld: no prob
    DrkstBld: laters
    DrkstBld signed off at 11:21:28 PM.
  2. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    I'm drunk and that's long.
  3. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
    that really is long. i guess i have alot to say.
  4. yoink

    yoink Elite Member

    Joined: May 27, 2002 Messages: 3,428 Likes Received: 0
    hooooly shit yeah .........
    what he said
  5. socrates

    socrates Guest

  6. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 7
    I have cut it down twice now....you fuck heads read it now....
  7. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
    just for those of you wondering (damn your pathetic if you read the whole thing....) but intangible was being a pansy and rejecting all the people whom would get fireworks lit off at their houses. i think my answers were pistol, all of the dpc, dee and some other people. im very tired though and cant think too great.......ow.
  8. A Fire Inside

    A Fire Inside Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 1,836 Likes Received: 0
    You are staying at a Motel when you come over... speaking of which... "holler"
  9. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
    hah--wait just one second here...fuck you!
  10. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40

    i dont usually stay in the peoples houses anyhow when im assaulting them and their pets with fireworks.