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all that you cant leave behind...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by seeking, Oct 15, 2001.

  1. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 235
    what have you lost that you cant get back? not a can of black while running from the cops, not your car keys.

    after your mom stopped dressing you and you began making your own decisions, which ones do you now realize were bad ones? what have you done that you cant undue, but haunts you still?

    seeking/skeletol closet keeper
  2. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,128 Likes Received: 76
    Hmmmm, bad decisions....not running from the police, when I should have....I lost my time, my patience, my money, my goodwill. Now I'm overwhelmed with legal problems...I wish I could have my life back.
  3. alkaline

    alkaline Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 2, 2001 Messages: 3,097 Likes Received: 0
    I decided to start college at the tender age of 16. I got in over my head and had to grow up fast. I lost two years of goofing around.
  4. what have i lost that i can't get back?
    2 things
    my dad
    my childhood
    no doubt

    my dad
    died when i was 10
    an anniversary just passed and i miss him

    my childhood
    i would give up my left nut to be 5 again, and be able to grow up again...
    i dont know if i would do anything different other then enjoy the growing up experience. i wish i never went through life wishing i was older. everytime i got older, there were more responsibilities, and i lost innocense. thats one thing i wish i had back. my youthful innocence and ignorance. no cares on the world. no bills. no bosses. no girls stressin me out. just hanging around the neighborhood being a kid...

    what would i do different?
    i have come to the conclusion that i needed to go through and experience everything i have in my life to reach this point. and i love this point. i like the person i am and have become. and i beleive i have only gotten here because of the trials and tribulations i have survived. sometimes i think its a really selfish thought, because i have put alot of loved ones thru so much shit. but i have talked to them about it and they agree with me.
    not a bad deal.

    my .02
  5. to many...

    I've done a lot of stupid things concerning girls,but somehow that seems to amuse me (victim or victimizer) rather than hunt me.
    The most terrible things i've done took place when i was a kid.Those hunt me in a way.They remind me that when out of focus,i am capable of really odd things and desicions.
    From my adult life the thing that hunts me the most is something that happenned 3 years ago.I was in a very rough situation and the fact that i couldnt say "fuck y'all" and face despair while figuring out the next move made me stick to that situation and suffer for a long time in the "hands" of people that had power on me and abused it all the way.
    I dont know,sometimes i cant really make a difference between being good and being a victim.
    By the way...i broke my nose an hour ago...stuck my head on a glass door,shit was weird i didnt knew what hit me.The way you react in situations like that is very important.Your reflex could be the only guide you can have sometimes.
  6. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 28
    Damn, I thought this was about the new Starting Line EP..oh well.

    Anyways, I don't think I would have changed anything. ALl the stuff that I did and that happened to me happend for a reason. No point in dwelling in the past. Live for the moment, don't ever regret.
  7. Remy Martin

    Remy Martin Guest

  8. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 235
    im not asking what you would change, im asking what things have deeply effected you in perhaps a negative sort of way. what have you done that has made your life harder. and im not talking about getting busted once for bombing a stop sign. im talking serious shit here. shit that has made you who you are. we all have fucking defects otherwise we wouldnt be on this board talking about the stuff we do. come on... open up a little bit.
  9. CATS

    CATS Senior Member

    Joined: May 30, 2001 Messages: 1,600 Likes Received: 0
    Several rash decisions have left me to contemplate if I have been making wrong choices all my life. I remember growing up and always having to stand up for what I believed in. Being stubborn I have lost close friends that I should have treated with more care and respect. I think about those friends who passed away and that they could be watching me"depending on religious values" All in all I wish I had been able to treat everyone who deserved it with more respect. Now I have to think of the what could have beens. Like in a Bronx Tale, Every guy get three really special women in his life. I too think I had all of mine already. :(
  10. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    exactly i was going to list something but thinking back on it i learned a few valuable lessons and regardless of being momentarly robbed of my integrity i emerged a better person for it, from that point on it was the begining of my life....i still hope that person is face down in a creek right now but thats besides the point:D

    i would have to agree somewhat with dusty....i started working as soon as i was fourteen thanks to a company that was violating certain labor laws....while all my friends were off fucking around playing pee pee touch with the little girls i was on the job, working away the last 4 years of my youth....then again looking at all those people im kind of glad i did that too....oh well, such is life
  11. Remy Martin

    Remy Martin Guest

    as gay as this sounds.
    i lost my innocence way young.
    i regret dropping out of ninth grade and being a jr thugscout.
    i regret dissing my fams.
    i regret becoming a alcholic.
    so now ima part vampire ink paint pain user as stated previous.
    and im crazy to.
    sanity was nice.
  12. Remy Martin

    Remy Martin Guest

    oh yeah, i write regrets
  13. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    nice post seeking, the title sounds so familiar..... whats it from? a title of a cd i think?

    theres alot i thought i would have changed. but now looking back at it, it actually changed my life in a way that would not have been possible the way i was living. being in trouble with the law, things that have happened within my family, things with friends, and things with my girlfriend. i miss my freedom, but isolation has given me a chance to find myself and change my life, and its all been for the better. and im happy with it. i just miss the friends whove passed on at such a young age, and all the people ive know whove passed. i wish they were back, but that wont happen. i just miss people that have left me living and dead. but if i could do it all again i wouldnt change a thing.
  14. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    well since i cant edit my post cause im not a registered user, ill make a new one. things that have affected me in a bad way......

    i regret becoming an alcoholic. drinking away everything i have. ending up broke almost the same night i got paid. i regret getting drunk so much that my family didnt know who i was anymore. i regret ignoring and turning away from the peopl who love me.... losing them was the hardest part. i regret thinking i was some sort of bad ass when i was drunk and hurting people for no reason. i regret stabbing that kid in the face while drinking. ive lost everything because of that shit. alcoholism is such a hard thing to deal with. and its brought me so much hardship. but im proud to say ive mended things with my family and those around me, and am slowly talking to people who i was mean to again. im also proud that ive cleaned up my act and am clean again, and gotten rid of that addiction. these things still haunt me......
  15. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,128 Likes Received: 76
    I think, also, I may not have taken so much LSD....I can only realize the effects now, if I could have only seen them then...I am permenately changed.