airport security, payphones and a light blue volvo

I just spent the weekend back home hanging out with el girlfriendo.

I was going back to visit her in the first place, I bought tickets for the plane in advance. Well, she visited her mom in Florida 2 weeks before I was supposed to head out. Going through security at the airport the retards spot something "suspicious" and pull her to the side. Turns out she accidentally left her sister's lighter/knife combo in her pocket. The knife is obviously a deadly weapon.. you know, because it can fit into a small ass lighter.

Oh, lighters are also illegal to carry on planes now. If you didn't know.

Anyway -- she gets interrogated for 8 hours. No water. No food. Treated like shit, basically. She finally gets let go and gets on the plane. Her plane ride will be the same as before obviously (from florida to california with 2 stops).. only now it's 8 hours later. She's tired as fuck and pisssed.

She called me at one of her lay overs. She sounded pretty tore up. Very tired. I tried not to bring up anything that might offend, because I know how people can get (especially her) when they get agitated. Some kid breaks his arm in some jungle gym type thing they have at the air port. The kid runs to the mom and cries and cries right behind her while she's on the phone with me. I can hear the steam coming out of her ears. Security shows up while she's still on the phone with me, and they basically crowd her booth. Apparently the security guards ass was right in her face. She was whispering so loud, and the shit she was saying.. I was amazed with.

anyway -- turns out she has to go back the following weekend for her court date. So she flys out there. This time everything goes smoothly. But she can't buy a firearm until she's 25 (because of a lighter/pocket knife combo????) which she was really looking forward to doing as soon as she paid off her computer. We don't really talk that whole weekend, she's busy with the court shit, I'm busy with this new job I got.

She gets back to califas and lets me know she'll be in florida while I'm back in s.f. I get pissed. I'm ready to change my flight to florida just to beat the shit out of the people that couldn't get a fucking pocket knife charge over with in 1 day. But I kept cool. Whatever whatever, it's still mother's day so I'll be able to hang out with my mom on mothers day. Not so bad.

She tells me her sister is going to pick me up (me and her sister are pretty good friends) so that way no one has to take off work and I can have some time hanging out with her sister. Turns out my girl was lying about having to go back to florida, and she picked me up from the airport and basically made my weekend. She does stuff like this very rarely (if she did it often I would be more keen to it, I suppose)

I guess this was really anti-climatic. But it's probably the best I felt in a very long time. Probably the best weekend of my life (so far) has just passed. I figured I'd share it with someone, because telling her the story would be retarded.

and here she is

I'm already saving up for her to come out here.

I'll probably delete that picture soon.

I think right now I'm just stalling and figuring out if I actually want to post this or if typing it out was good enough for me.

Fuck it, it took long enough, here you go.

Girls are good at that.....

she looks like a terrorist to me. huh?

I enjoy the inner monologue (sp)

Dang, I cant believe they interogate for 8 hours just for a little pocket knife. Last time i flew, I forgot I had a box cutter in my backpack until right before I got in line, so I just walked over to the trash and threw it away. Lucky me I guess.

I was gonna ask what race she is. I'm glad that you turned out to have a good weekend, man. So wait, is it an actual charge if you attempt to bring a teenyweeny knife or lighter onto a plane? I figured that after eight hours they'd decide not to charge her and stuff.

But yo, I think your girl has man hands. :lol:

hahaha, I was looking at those too. and I was thinking "dang, those look large"

but no, her hands are pretty small actually. and very feminine. i'll try to get her to take a picture of her hands just so i can prove to twelve ounce my woman does not have man hands.

glad to read it was a happy ending!

FELLOW TERROISTS

WHY IS IT?

THAT IN MOST MAJOR

INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTS YOU

WALK THE GAUNTLET OF RETARDED

SECURITY, WHERE, YOU ARE SRIPPED OF

LETHAL OBJECTS SUCH AS EYEBROW TWISERS,

ONLY TO VISIT THE 'DUTY FREE' STORES

SECTION BEFORE BOARDING!

THEN IN MID FLIGHT YOU HAVE TO

MAKE THAT DIFFICULT DECISION..

LEATHAL WEAPON 1: A NAIL CLIPPERS

LEATHAL WEAPON 2: A JAGGED HALF A BROKEN

LITRE BOTTLE OF 'SPUTNIK' VODKA

when I flew to florida for spring break, i made sure that i did NOT have anything, specifically boxcutters, that would possibly get me in trouble while checking through secuity. i work a warehouse-ish job at which an ox is a commodity. well, i managed to clean out 4 or 5 out of my backpack used as my carry-on. it was smooth sailing in and out of checkpoints, to florida and back.

i get home, clean out my backpack, and i find a fucking boxcutter.

i am very, very lucky. i also enjoyed having a laugh to myself about how much of a joke this whole uber-security shit is.

when i was a kid i got a cap gun coinfiscated at the airpot

one other time i had keyring pistol which was about 3 cms long taken

gays taking their job too serious pisses me off

this was a nice story. easy reading

If I didn't have other things to deal with I'd fill a gigantic fucking duffel bag with nail clippers, tweezers, pens, and pencils and try to walk onto a plane with it. It would seriously be the funniest fucking thing ever.