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Ah, My Wacky Neighbors

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Sparoism, Jan 7, 2006.

  1. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    Recently, I've posted a few comments about speed that might have made me sound...well, not exactly for it, but....more that I looked at the individual, not the drug they were on. This point of view has a lot to do with some of my (not so popular) Libertarian views...but the following is just plain absurd.

    Let us examine The Textbook Case Of The Neighbors Of Sparoism, aka Shai Hulud.

    These are the folks I was talking about, or at least they were the ones I had in mind. They are White Trash par excellence. They bought the rather nicely built but worn building next door (how I do not know) and have been in the process of "renovating" it since the day we moved in. "Renovating" in this case does not entail capital improvements or building equity, but basically gutting it and making it all but uninhabitable by anyone with any kind of standards. There used to be a perfectly good rear staircase to the top flat....now there is a thirty foot ladder leading to the back door. The lower flat contains NO furniture....but, people are in there at all hours of the night, doing...things. What these things are, I can only imagine. The basement seems to be where some of these "things" are centered around. The top flat seems to be where the people “live� and has had all the windows papered over from the inside so that no one can see in or out- that or it's to keep the light out, I'm not sure which. Naturally, people are in and out of the house at all hours, leading me to believe that there are some kind of transactions being made that probably don't involve comic books.

    They have set up what I can only call a chop shop next door...cars pull in, and usually don't leave under their own power. There is a driveway that is basically in my front yard, that they see fit to use as an annex to their little fly-by-night Monster Garage. When we moved in, it was clean...now, there is trash and oil stains galore, and a rotating cast of cracked out looking guys pulling the manifolds off their cars to, you know, "clean that shit out and, like, get it tits, dude, I need a smoke, don't fuckin' spray that shit near me, you fuckin' stoopid?" This is usually accompanied by a symphony of power tools and either cock-rock or gangster rap, although none of them are over thirty-five and are predominately white...the power tools seem to obey their own schedule, and it is by no means unusual for them to decide that if it feels good to run a pressure washer or impact wrench at two in the morning, so be it. They also parked a box truck in the driveway for two months, effectively turning it into an alley...I was getting ready to just go ahead and paint a row of crackpipes on it when they pulled it into the yard. Also, to complete the general junkyard feel of the place, they recently acquired a pitbull. For a time, it was off the leash and there was no fence to keep it in...one day, it growled at my girlfriend, so the next time this happened my plan was to scare the shit out of it by throwing an empty champagne bottle at it from our balcony...now he's an inside dog, for the most part. And, there's a fence up.

    And, the people....the owner is a real piece of work. THESE PEOPLE NEVER SLEEP. At the height of my partying days even I had to rest sometimes...these people, as far as I can tell, have not slept in SIX MONTHS. Their typical means of communication is either A) to yell at each other, or B) fight like cats and dogs. They exhibit most of the borderline psychotic/schizoid behavior that I would expect to see in chronic meth users, but the thing is, it's like they can sustain it...there hasn't been any cops there, or ambulances...the weirdest (and most frustrating) thing is that they don't ever cross the line to where anybody but me and my girlfriend know what they're up to....the neighborhood I'm in is far from idyllic, but it's a RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD! As in, there's families on the street that are probably wondering what's going on. Well. I KNOW what's going on, but there isn't a whole lot I can do....except report it here, for your amusement. Eventually, there will be flicks...I just have to be subtle about taking them, as I'm sure they are paranoid to a fault.

    I don't like calling the cops, as it is against my principles to do so outside of extraordinary circumstances. I went through this kind of shit before, I'll probably go through it again....I may have to have a talk with them someday, and I'll share my theories with them, and then depending on how it goes....maybe I'll be compelled to take some Action. By Action, they will find out how much it costs to replace all their windows, thanks to me and my trusty slingshot and bucket of marbles...or try in vain to remove the gigantic "^SPEEDFREAKS^LIVE^HERE^" blockbuster that gets painted on their front walk with alkyd paint...my vengeance knows NO bounds.

    This is more in line with Mr. Yuck's backwoods thread...maybe someone can relate. I don't know...I guess we'll move when the lease is up, even though I love this apartment. Then the next people can find out what it's like to live on Tobacco Road.

    To be continued.
  2. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    And, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm up so late...


    Insomnia helps, but that doesn't matter. I'm usually out no later than 3 or so...this statrted around 2 am and hasn't stopped...maybe they're pumping the rainwater out their subterranean meth lab.

    Or maybe they want me to go shit on their front porch.
  3. i_write

    i_write Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 20, 2005 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 0
    damn man .. you should get vengance like a mother fucker, as if it isnt obvious enough with what you mentioned up there ..
  4. MOOGLE?

    MOOGLE? 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 23, 2000 Messages: 11,493 Likes Received: 501
    methheads are a rare breed...
    if it was crackheads i could help you out....

    as far as revenge..

    fake eviction notice from the city..
    bottle rockets at the roof
    post yard sale signs directing people to go to that house.
    sign them up for large amounts of junk mail catalogs via internet..
    order pizzas to their pad..

    as far as insomnia..i've had that since i was 8.. best thing that works is warm earl grey tea,or a massage...,reading,lifting weights,doing sit ups or pushups works well mid morning..
  5. sect ebc

    sect ebc Member

    Joined: Feb 20, 2005 Messages: 498 Likes Received: 0
    methheads are no rare breed ask anyone out west

    crankster gangster niggas
  6. richard_vagina

    richard_vagina Member

    Joined: Nov 28, 2005 Messages: 578 Likes Received: 0
    this is an entertaining story. doesn't rumpuncher have a thread around here about some annoying neighbors?

    look for it under key3 i'm sure you'll find it
  7. nopi-one

    nopi-one New Jack

    Joined: Jan 1, 2006 Messages: 44 Likes Received: 0
    OH, Shit... neighbor problems, thats easy. Kill them in their sleep! and if they dont sleep. Blow them up.
  8. MOOGLE?

    MOOGLE? 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 23, 2000 Messages: 11,493 Likes Received: 501

    i meant rare breed as in tottaly differnt level compared to other types of junkies..

    yuh i know all about the west...loma linda..i could never tell when i was enterin/in it/leaving it...and there was only one bus going through it..
    odd little town i say
  9. guerillaeye

    guerillaeye Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Messages: 1,473 Likes Received: 0
  10. xen

    xen Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 4, 2004 Messages: 2,803 Likes Received: 303
    Being overly paranoid as a nature of the drug< plant a police scanner under their window just barely loud enough to hear. Then shoot them.
  11. guerillaeye

    guerillaeye Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Messages: 1,473 Likes Received: 0
    or knock on the front door and run away.. all the fucking time.
  12. test pattern

    test pattern Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 21, 2002 Messages: 3,975 Likes Received: 0
    wasn't that guy on 12oz?
  13. guerillaeye

    guerillaeye Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Messages: 1,473 Likes Received: 0
    who? robert downey jr?
  14. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6

    Poster child for meth.
  15. John Birch

    John Birch Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2004 Messages: 747 Likes Received: 0
    just burn their house down...you will do your neighbors and god a favor...