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A story for Halloween.....

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by effyoo, Oct 7, 2002.

  1. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    This was in the Calgary Sun ... the title of the article was
    "Best Come Back Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm on Friday. Ward will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Calgary courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Ward went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Barbara Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. I walked up to (Ward) & he's just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Ward. I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
     
  2. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    we don't celebrate halloween in australia. it's gay. first
     
  3. seppuku

    seppuku Member

    Joined: May 11, 2000 Messages: 718 Likes Received: 0
    you sound bitter
     
  4. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    no, i just always found halloween to be a bit pointless
     
  5. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    who cares if you find halloween to be pointless...did you read the story? the guy was fucking a pumpkin!
     
  6. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    anything longer than 3 lines i don't read. i have ADD
     
  7. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

  8. FIST2CUFFS

    FIST2CUFFS Member

    Joined: Sep 18, 2002 Messages: 454 Likes Received: 0
    at least it wasn't a pie
     
  9. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    there should be a 12oz pumpkin carving contest.
     
  10. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    HAHAHAHA !!!

    If I was the cop I'd let him go just for having such a snappy comeback.
     
  11. Wilt

    Wilt Guest

    that's what i was thinking....why didn't he just bring that shit home with him...
     
  12. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Hahahahahaha.....man, talk about keeping cool under pressure. I wish I had rapier sharp wit like that.....

    :lol:


    *effyoo email me....
     
  13. Kettiecat

    Kettiecat Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Messages: 1,122 Likes Received: 0
  14. RAGSOE

    RAGSOE New Jack

    Joined: May 11, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 1
    it gives new meaning to get in where you fit in
     
  15. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    Dazzle, you get that email?
     
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