effyoo Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 This was in the Calgary Sun ... the title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm on Friday. Ward will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Calgary courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Ward went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Barbara Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. I walked up to (Ward) & he's just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Ward. I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 we don't celebrate halloween in australia. it's gay. first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seppuku Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 you sound bitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 no, i just always found halloween to be a bit pointless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted October 7, 2002 Author Share Posted October 7, 2002 who cares if you find halloween to be pointless...did you read the story? the guy was fucking a pumpkin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 anything longer than 3 lines i don't read. i have ADD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest willy.wonka Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FIST2CUFFS Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 at least it wasn't a pie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 there should be a 12oz pumpkin carving contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 HAHAHAHA !!! If I was the cop I'd let him go just for having such a snappy comeback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wilt Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 Originally posted by --zeSto-- HAHAHAHA !!! If I was the cop I'd let him go just for having such a snappy comeback. that's what i was thinking....why didn't he just bring that shit home with him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 Hahahahahaha.....man, talk about keeping cool under pressure. I wish I had rapier sharp wit like that..... :lol: *effyoo email me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kettiecat Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 BUMP play on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAGSOE Posted October 7, 2002 Share Posted October 7, 2002 it gives new meaning to get in where you fit in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted October 7, 2002 Author Share Posted October 7, 2002 Dazzle, you get that email? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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