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a new "BRO" religion.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Don Perignon, Sep 17, 2002.

  1. Don Perignon

    Don Perignon New Jack

    Joined: Aug 10, 2002 Messages: 91 Likes Received: 0

    #1. You must drive a raised pick up truck with either or the following stickers: Volcom, Independent, or Hurley.

    #2. You must wear skate gear especially if you've never touched a skateboard in your life.

    #3. You must wear Oakleys even at night.

    #4. You must drink really watered down beer.

    #5. You must drink protein shakes and raw eggs.

    #6. You must get out of taking tests by telling your professor you're going through "hell week" at football practice.

    #7. You must wear slippers or skate shoes (see #2).

    #8. You have to say "bro" or else you have to call your buddies by their last names.

    #9. Your girlfriend also must wear Volcom, Hurley, or Abercrombie unless she's a hot hoochie momma freshman you and all your friends are gonna bone.

    #10. You must bump gangster rap at your frat parties even though you don't have a single black friend.

    #11. You must get a sun or tribal band tattoo. You're real gangsta if you get a tattoo in Chinese because you think it looks cool.

    #12. You must have a calendar of some slut like Pamela Anderson you ripped off Maxim in your room.

    #13. You must have locker room meetings with your other bros after football practice and talk about drinking kegs and getting laid.

    Feel free to add your own rules.
  2. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117


  3. fr8lover

    fr8lover Guest

    #14. You must stop giving a shit about what other people do, and get along for yourself.
  4. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    #15. you must eat food that you steal from your uncles dog.

    RAGSOE New Jack

    Joined: May 11, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 1
    good one,well said.i think i'll play along though.

    rule # 15:if you do not shave your leg hair, you will be extracted from said club membership.

    RAGSOE New Jack

    Joined: May 11, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 1
    i just laughed icehouse through my nose!hahahahahahahha!
  7. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest


    we got tons of these guys in hawaii
  8. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    hly shit you summed up calgary to a tee.
  9. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Yes we have many of those bros here
    More rules:

    Must like to talk about how you get high and drunk all the time even it requires lying.

    Must date girls that are either 2 years younger than you, or 2 feet shorter than you.

    Must wear hats, backwards is always better.
  10. krie

    krie Guest

    Hurley is owned by Nike
  11. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    Don Perignon..

    that's so true. sad, but true.
  12. socrates

    socrates Guest

    Damn people who have lives that don't involve wearing a black hoodie with shitty hair. Shut the fuck up you artsy fartsy ass homo, just because he actually gets laid by GOOD looking girls and all his friends aren't on shrem.

    People who complain about how others live only do so because of a sub-concious envy of them.
  13. Don Perignon

    Don Perignon New Jack

    Joined: Aug 10, 2002 Messages: 91 Likes Received: 0
    Who the hell is complaining? I'm trying to recruit you boys into my religion. Of course I think bros are cool. It's sort of like the Church of Scientology, except there are no celebrities.

    p.s. I have great hair.
  14. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
    i dont like your religion
  15. KaBar

    KaBar Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2001 Messages: 1,397 Likes Received: 28
    I got a good laugh out of this one

    The funny part is that three or four years from now, when you are twenty, there will be some newblood kid who thinks all you "old farts" are hopelessly out of date, and he will be listing the exact same shit that you think is cool. And he will think his own silly-ass adolescent bullshit rocks, and that your silly-ass adolescent bullshit is LAME AS A MOTHERFUCKER. And I'll still be getting a charge out of all the unregulated testosterone wafting up from this website. But ten years from now, this same toy will change his opinion, and he'll go see nostalgic movies that use your silly-ass adolescent bullshit to sell movie tickets and popcorn.

    Styles change.
    Music changes.
    Drugs go in and out of fashion.
    Politics change.
    There will be new wars and new anti-war movements.
    Today's radicals will be tomorrow's Old Fogies.
    Girls that you think are hot shit today, will be MILF's tomorrow and Grandma's the day after.
    You are going to grow a pot belly and lose your hair, dog.
    Someday you'll look back on the life that you live today, and say to yourself
    "WHY, WHY, didn't I listen to old KaBar when I had the chance?"