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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by beardo, Mar 22, 2002.

  1. beardo

    beardo Guest

    How to Swallow A Pig

    Because of the shape of its face, a pig is actually one of the easiest animals to swallow whole. Still, pig-swallowing is a very difficult and potentially dangerous activity. If you have advance notice, a certain amount of jaw-stretching and lip-widening prior to the event is always helpful. Your greatest enemy is self-doubt. You have to look at the pig’s head and tell yourself that you can do this. Once you have greased the pig, begin by letting the fine tapered end of the snout proceed through your lips. The first obstacle, if it is not the back of your throat, will likely be your front teeth. Unfortunately, these will have to be broken off. This clears the way for the full face-taper of the pig snout to zero in on your gullet. You have to be thinking “outrage” when this begins to happen for it is entirely violating and painful. But your throat can take it. Allow the gorge to widen as though it were a fluid, thinner with each stretch. Your throat is a powerful python, infinitely elastic and accommodating. Once the entire pig head has squeezed by your gag reflex and entered your gorge, you are fully committed. You will not be able to vomit out the pig safely. Nor can you wait long to continue, for at this time your trachea is entirely blocked by the pig’s head. You are unable to breath. Do not panic. Do not attempt to gasp or retch. Concentrate on swallowing. Having the wideness of the pig’s bulky shoulders in your once narrow throat is perhaps the most violating thing you will ever experience. But you can do this. Just tell yourself: this is possible. Swallow and stretch. Keep your lower jaw loose to prevent the bone from snapping at the hinge. Suck with your guts. Use your lower diaphragm to draw the fat pig even further down the gullet. Let your thick and lucent saliva lubricate the way. Saturating the pig with your juices will allow the ciliated gorge to usher the pig deeper and deeper into your being. You may now need a friend with a stick to stuff in the pig’s back end. This is the most crucial period. You will have been without oxygen for quite some time. You are probably blue in the face, but if you can widen to your most extreme limit, your throat cracking like wet bark, you will be able to slide your blue lips over the bare buttocks and with the last kick of the back trotters, the curl of the pig’s tail will be gone. The entire pig is in your throat. Your intestines are stretching. Peristalsis has begun. The glottis is finally released and the first, terrible new breath can come with a gasp. You’ve lived! You’ve swallowed the whole pig. And now that it’s entirely in your stomach, you have to ask yourself: Is thins not a most familiar feeling? Is this not the greatest feeling on earth?
  2. A Fire Inside

    A Fire Inside Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 5, 2001 Messages: 1,836 Likes Received: 0
    Any pictures to go along.. or perhaps video footage?
  3. yoshy

    yoshy Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2000 Messages: 738 Likes Received: 0
    barely escaped



    thinking about the pig that got away...
  4. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    I was in hospital for 6 weeks you bastards....
  5. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    that's when zesto says. "good day to you sir."
  6. alkaline

    alkaline Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 2, 2001 Messages: 3,097 Likes Received: 0
    "That'll do, pig. That'll do."
  7. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,307 Likes Received: 112
  8. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    to beardo, a frquent source of amusement.
  9. ODW

    ODW Member

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 462 Likes Received: 0
    the large block of text discouraged me from reading.
  10. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
    "fuck that swallowing pigs shit. what i like to do is crack skulls, fuck skanks, and do the dishes. stupid fucks talking bout swallowing pigs. fuckin dumb shits."