a cry for help

alrite.most of you have no clue who i am.ive been reading everything on this forum for months.i dont want anyone to think im bitching about how fucked up my life is but i need some advice.ive been crying for about an hour strait i cant put up with this shit anymore.the deal is ive been having a lot of trouble with my dad.im turning 15 soon and my parents have been divorced for a few years now.my dad decided to tell me they were splittin up a few days before my 13th birthday.ive been depressed since that day.lately ive been going over to my moms which is close to detroit like the inner city.i used to paint there but ive been to lazy to do anything lately.my friends allways give me a hard time because they think i choose my mom over them.i cant deal with this.every monday i have to go to school and say i passed up having a really good time, missing parites, missing contact with girls, missed some bomb ass weed over goin to my moms.i dont want to tell them the hell i have to go through staying with my dad on the weekend.when im there i stay inside all day gettin bitched at.its like verbal abuse.he used to beat the shit outa me until i knocked his ass out last year.its like everything i do is wrong.i was failing school for the past few years.but this years its all A's except for one B+.but its like nothing i ever do is good enough.i seriously get bitched at for like a week strait.it makes me feel like im a complete waste of space.like i shouldnt have been born.i dont know whats wrong with me.my mom tells me im not fucked up at all and that its just my dad trying to verbally abuse me and my little brother.ive been drunk all day since i got home from school.as im typing this im drinking a glass of orange faygo mixed with vodka.im starting to get scared knowing that ive drinkin two bottles of some hard ass liquor in the past day.i dont know what to do.but its like my dad's new g/f is making it even worse for me.she moved in like half a year ago.and this week my dad went out of town and told my mom that she is not at all welcome at all.he was acting like a real dick to her and she started crying.ever since then ive been worse then ever.so me and my little brother are staying here with my dad's g/f.she tries to piss me off really bad.me and my brother throw up every time we eat macaroni and cheese.what does she make?some stale as steak with a side of macaroni and cheese.BITCH!so me and my friends are drinking a bottle of jin.we end up drinking the whole thing and she walks in unnoticed.she then calls up my dad and makes things seem ten times worse then they really are.so we just made up some story that some kids came by and they were responsible for this shit.but i really get bitched out.but his g/f is constently trying to piss me off.every night my dads home they fuck in the room rite next to me and she purposely tries to moan so i can not go to sleep.its things like this.and shes behind my dad giving me shit all the time.well i know this is real long and shit but i really need help.i can not do shit but cry and drink.and its unhealthy as shit.hes got me in a really stupid position and he thinks hes normal.i cannot live a normal life.and i know it seems really stupid to u guys to post this here but the truth is i have nowhere else to turn.please put in suggestions of what to do because i cannot live under the conditions given.im thinking about moving out because this is like hell 24/7.please reply and not with ny bullshit thank you

this is not the place to go for help.

Try a school councelor or someone from the community.

12oz is a harsh place that really doesn't offer much.

However there are trained professionals who can help you out man.

You just got to be strong, and go looking in the right direction.

(and see how my points are easily organized into paragraphs? well that helps too!;) )

but if you're gonna kill yourself, make it look like an accident.

my buddy was telling me about this dude who worked for his company that jumped off the Bloor Viaduct, and miraculously survived. Well, at the age of thirty or so, he is paralyzed from the neck down or something, and his mom has to wipe his ass for him. What sucks is that they have to live with the fact that their son tried to commit suicide. pretty sad.

Shit's hard dude, my parents split up when I was 8 and things were never ever the same (and rightly so.) I didn't have it that bad though.. I know its gotta be hell on ya to be comin to people like us in your time of need, so my best advice can only support zesto's... don't give up, go find someone that can really help you out, and try to soften up on the drinks a bit before you fuck yourself over for good.

Keep it real kid

The first step is using paragraphs.

Originally posted by --zeSto--

this is not the place to go for help.

Try a school councelor or someone from the community.

 

12oz is a harsh place that really doesn't offer much.

very true. as stupid as it sounds. get REAL help rather than asking a group of people mostly comprised of degenerate antisocial criminals.....

good luck either way. your young, it happens unfortunately.

yeah... ^^ ease up on the drinks if you can.

I slipped into the cycle once after a bad break up.

You know where you never really sleep, you just drink-nap-drink-nap....

Well looking back at it now, it made things so much worse.

Man that shit's hard core. Some shit like that happend to a friend of mine. but he didnt talk about it to any of his friends. So one day he put a AK to his head and ended it all. But thats know way to go out.

A good idea it to talk about it to some of your close homies, see the more you let it eat you up is making it a hell of a lot worse. Cause when you sit in your room alone you have nothing else to do besides think about whats wrong with you life. And thats when you start getting really depressed. And thats no good.

When you talk about it something happens and it's like this giant weight is lifted off your cheast. and you start to realize how there things could be a whole lot worse.

Just remember every thing in life is temporairy, except death. So if you can hold out through this trile. you will be a stronger person and a better parent when you older. Cause this is all just a test. And if you pass it you'll be a better person because of it.

werd man, all of this is true^^^. just try to tuff it out, i've been there, not to that degree, but almost.my dad used to get drunk and point guns at my head when i was between 8-12. talk to someone about it, shit will help. maybe you can move in wiht ur relatives?

i like how fast you got shut down for help...like what do you want? hang in there bro..i know how you feel..i didnt even read your problem..all i know is that we all have problems.

i think that its true, "this isnt a place to cry for help...this is a place where you can cope..take a break from reality..

just relax..youre still young...no biggie.

well i just read your post...youre a 13 yr old kid and your parents just split up..you have your dads girlfriend poisoning you guys with her cookin/tryin to kill the extra baggage and you have been drinking for the past two days...

dude, while your dads girlfriend isnt watching..just pour some really toxic shit in your mac and cheese and call the police on her...eat some too so that you'll be sick and she'll go to jail.or fuck her pussy.

and youre 13..dont drink like a fuckin alchy.

if all else fails do good in school get a job and sell marijuana..i did in highschool and made bank.move out get a girlfriend to take care of you and live the rest of your life..little man.

life is sapsoed to be fun. i have one thing to say and it is to just party liek theres no tommorow.

Originally posted by willy.wonka

well i just read your post...youre a 13 yr old kid and your parents just split up..you have your dads girlfriend poisoning you guys with her cookin/tryin to kill the extra baggage and you have been drinking for the past two days...

 

 

dude, while your dads girlfriend isnt watching..just pour some really toxic shit in your mac and cheese and call the police on her...eat some too so that you'll be sick and she'll go to jail.or fuck her pussy.

 

and youre 13..dont drink like a fuckin alchy.

 

if all else fails do good in school get a job and sell marijuana..i did in highschool and made bank.move out get a girlfriend to take care of you and live the rest of your life..little man.

ha man im 15.shits been goin on for about 2 years. today i just fuckin blew.im just getting scared cuz in the past few months ive been drinkin a lot.i tried layin off for a week but there was allways the oppurtunity for a couple beers.sorry bout the lack of paragraphs but im one lazy motherfucker.anyway as weird as this sounds i feel a lot better knwoing that somebody actually listened to what i have to go through.i talked to my dog today and it made me feal a lot better.we came to the conclusion that shits just too fucked up and it aint a good living environment.schoolworks gona slip and im tryin to do somethign with my life.i aint about to go hussle on the fuckin corner for the rest of my life.i need to do sumthin and get the fuck out.im tryin to chill out on the alchohol although im still drunk after reading the post.i dont think im gona get counceling.i went to a psychiatrist(sp?) like a few years ago and that didnt help so im kinda disapointed.so i guess im just gona fuckin keep my head up and try to make the best outas things.anyway thanks a lot guys.u made me feel a lot better.

1 much love

like i said i really apreciate this shit.yeah i talked to some of my friends.that helped.they gave me some suggestions.i think i jsut gota have a serious talk with my dad and the rest of my fam.im gona lay it out like either u fuckin get ur act together or ill split.and its like that.now that i got my mind a little more cleared out i can think a little better.but i allways got my friends and my mom and little brother.i seriously gota tal to my dad.anyway.

peace.muchloveto10oz

if your dad's that much of an asshole, you won't get anything by talking. however, you should still try. and if your mother is well off, you should try to get it situated to where you don't have to go see him unless you really want to.

i tried talking to my dog once. it got up and walked away :/

dude.. ive been in every footstep you have. i went the same route when i was 13.. same problems too, only my mom's boyfriend sucked and my dad sucked too. i was drinking.. by the time i was 15 i was huffing gas and doing dumb shit i could find to kill time. i sat down one day when i was 16 and slit a huge x in my chest so deep i scratched up my sternum.. that bone over your heart. i bled through an entire matress that night..

if your really as sad as you say.. things just dont go away after a conversation. you really need to find outlets.. friends, GOOD friends, are outlets.. make sure they aren't friends who lead you to worse things.. thats why i can barely compose competant sentances without thinking about them first.. cuz when i hit 18 my friends weren't that good and i was doing drugs that didnt even have names at the time.

everything will get better.. i promise that.. dont go searching for love or anything.. girls wont fix that shit.. neither can friends.. YOU have to, but you can use things that are healthy to help you.. like that.. i started skatboarding in like 8th grade. im now a senior in college and i am pretty damn good at it. there were honestly times when i would get on that thing and the world would be mine.. fuck ANYTHING else...

just find a release.. write songs.. i used to do that.. and then rip them to shreds.. it keeps you from going back and dwelling on it.. it doesnt necessarily need to be songs.. write ANYTHING.. sometimes i used to just scream so loud it would make my throat bleed.. just yelling out what pissed me off.. man.. im not saying be crazy and shit.. but get that stuff off your chest... anything you can think of... fuck.. writing is a GREAT release..

feel free to hit me on aim..

oh yeah.. get out of that house. move in with your mom. seriously.. thats prolly your best bet.

i hope i helped.

i dont have anything useful to say, but i think its cool how all of you are helping.

yeah im about your age and deal with the same shit. i stopped contact with my dad after i found out he was sniffing coke and shit...i jsut try to focus on everythign positive i have, find someone who cares abotu you and stick with them, trust me company helps ALOT. dont drink. alcohol is a depressant and will make you worse. if you want to do something just smoke or soemthing, or just try to be happy regularly. about your dads girlfriend tell ehr straight up what the deal is. and if your dad starts sticking up for her and shit just be liek fuck this, stay with your mom or a friend or something. fathers suck...they always fuck up.. stay strong man

www.deadjournal.com

write it all down. whenever i get upset or pissed at somehting and theres no one around to bitch to i hit up my journal.

exercise

a 10 minute walk promotes 2 hours of well being. whenever my parents get on my case i workout. it makes me feel productive and it gives me somehting to kill time with besides drugs and alcohol.

realize that no matter what you do it will always be wrong. If people want to act like asses, there is nothing you can say or do to change that. Don't take it personally.

where in detroit?

dude i feel you, no matter what i do i cant seem to satisfy my parents....my mom just passed out due to stress and shes prolly going to move back to japan by herself because my dads unemployed and they are on hard terms...plus with all the shit me and my siblings give her like bad grades and shit dont help

bad times pass.

simple as that.

actually i just re read this thread and you know what it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy insde...12ozers have to be the most cruel and critical people on the web....and yet when someone does reach out for help no one had a stupid comment...no one made fun....people helped or at least made an attempt to....:)

get your anger out by defacing other peoples property, its one of the best things you can do (besides alcohol) to get your mind off shit... you could be worse off, my parents were never togather, my dad was never around and my mom is a mental case.

if i had real problems, this is the absolute last place on earth i would go to for help. i'd go to church first for chrissake

first of all i wana say thanks once again.giving tree shit u were a lot like me.i carved an X in my arm.not quite the same thing but similar.i used to skateboard.but two days i sold it so i could get some more weed.and i enjoy writing as well.i dont know what to write about i dont know what to do to clear my mind up.ARCEL.i dont got any piant rite now but i got some bomb ass markers im about to go use.my dad lives around pontiac.my mom live on the southwest side close to detroit.i dont want to give out exact locations.once again thank you

yo man im having the worst time of my life as well. im a little older and shit, and have different problems but i ahve found some solutions maybe you could try......

go see a counselour, whether it be a doctor, or even someone at school. people are there to help, and to listen to whats bugging you. they spend 12 years in college to learn that shit and know alot more than youd think. dont sleep on seeing someone, i did and i felt like shit for over two years, now im getting to the root of my problems and facing them head on because ive been seeing a counselour.

start a journal if you havent already. writing about the shit that pisses you off is a form of relief, it lets the anger anf frustration out of your system and allows you to think freely.

if you hate living with your dad, try and move with your mom all the time, there is no sense in staying in a bad situation.

also and most importantly, surround yourself with good people. people that do shit that makes you happy, whether its painting or smoking weed, or drinking find good people to hang out with, people who will ride for your ass and wont let shit happen to you..

hope you feel better man, and you can hit me up on aim if you ever need to.....

screen name CRESSY CRES

PEACE

hmm. tough times, eh? i experienced similar circumstances when i was younger but started to work them out when i was your age. id say move in with your mom, thats what i did. in my situation i cut off all communication with my dad and alot changed.

its important that you realize that you need to take care of this shit though. you are a person and nobody deserves any kind of abuse in my opinion, especially from your folks. it can be tough to break that connection but its just something you gotta do if you make that decision. you can always go back on the weekends and kick it with your friends and then you can have that fun you are wanting to partake in with your friends. once you have made your decision to liberate yourself from that situation dont forget about your little brother.

whatever you do though take care of that shit. you might think about seeing somebody at your school or a therapist or something even if you think you can handle it. bringing a third party into the picture can make a huge difference. your getting some good advice in this thread, take some of it. dont just blow it off cause some cats showed you love, this is something that you need to take care of. it wont resolve itself.

a little while ago, i got really depressed, for my own reasons, i pretty much became a hermit. i didn't talk to anyone, rarely painted or skated and i threw out or painted over most of my canvases. it sucks. i talked about it alot with my art teacher, she really helped me to get through it all. if you have someone like that who you can trust, i reccomend that you talk to them about it... it sounds like you are working it out and feeling a little better though, which is really good, im glad to hear it.

Pick a fight with somebody smaller then you.