50 reasons why it's great to be a man

if you've seen this before, don't bitch about cause i don't care

 

 

 

It's great to be a bloke because:

 

1. Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.

 

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

 

3. Your last name stays put.

 

4. The garage is all yours.

 

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

 

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

 

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

 

8. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.

 

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

 

10. Wrinkles add character.

 

11. A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.

 

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

 

13. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

 

14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

 

15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

 

16. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

 

17. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

 

18. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

 

19. You can appreciate great sport.

 

20. You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.

 

21. One mood, ALL the damn time.

 

22. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

 

23. You can open all your own jars.

 

24. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

 

25. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

 

26. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

 

27. You can kill your own food.

 

28. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

 

29. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

 

30. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

 

31. Everything on your face stays its original color.

 

32. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

 

33. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

 

34. You don't have to clean your apartment if the electricity meter reader is coming.

 

35. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

 

36. You don't mooch off other's desserts.

 

37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

 

38. IF another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

 

39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

 

40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 

41. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

 

42. A few grey hairs give us character, and don't result in a lifelong obsession to find the perfect hair colour.

 

43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 

44. You don't have to shave below your neck.

 

45. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

 

46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

 

47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

 

48. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

 

49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

 

50. Same job .... . more pay.

 

The world is your urinal

i'll sing along.

 

piss anywhere we want.piss while we're walking if we want to..

I must admit, that is one of the more intelligent "its great to be a bloke" lists I've seen

 

 

 

 

but you can't win

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

multiple fucking orgasms.ha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(yeah I know some of you can do that, but not many)

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

I must admit, that is one of the more intelligent "its great to be a bloke" lists I've seen

 

 

 

 

but you can't win

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

multiple fucking orgasms.ha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(yeah I know some of you can do that, but not many)

 

 

big deal. i'd rather have 50+ pros than that ONE con

yeah, but WHAT a pro......................;)

 

 

 

anyway, I wasn't going to muscle in on your thread with a 50 reasons its great to be female list, but now you asking for it. will post later

bring it on. just make sure to change your tampon, shave your legs, shave your pits, dye your hair, and take a piss sitting down first :-P

well..i got out of a speeding ticket the other day... ... . . . .

guys can have multiple orgasms , its really not that hard

its all so true...

 

also, girls u may get multiple orgasms, but who has to push sumthin the size of a watermelon through sumthin the size of a golf/tennis ball wen bringin new life into the world? not us 4 sho

Reasons its great to be female

 

sorry, I would have posted sooner but I got falling-down, throwing up drunk last night. Which brings me to my ffirst..........................

 

 

1. You can get drunk SOOOO cheaply, because of a lower capacity, and you can sucker some fool into buying it for you

 

2. You can give birth (yes its a good thing)

 

3. Having given birth, if it erupts into a custody battle, you basically get the kids by default

 

4. You have a much higher pain threshold

 

5. You don't have this You Must Control Your Emotions bullshit

 

6. You don't have to get involved in the Whoever Dies With The Most Stuff Wins competion

 

7. You can see the wonderful irony of lads who laugh at you about periods - like you are a slave to your hormones - and then they spend all their money buying drink for some girl who doesn't sleep with them anyway...............

 

8. Nobody sees the punch coming...................

 

9. Girls are responsible for substantially less crime, so.....

 

10. You are always less of a suspect than the nearest bloke...............

 

11. You don't have to get involved in the constant dick measuring, ie cars, bike, tvs, sound systems, girls shagged, weight lifted, etc..

 

12. You can fake an orgasm

 

13. you can get really drunk and still have sex

 

14. You appearance is your playground

 

15. You live longer

 

16. Your sexual peak is much later. I think I would kill myself at 20 if my sexual peak was at 18

 

17. You don't have to buy everything with the word "TURBO" on it

 

18. You know how to open a bra

 

19. You aren't to proud to ask for directions

 

20. You don't feel compelled to say you know how to fix major appliances

 

21. Having killed your own food, you also know how to cook it...............

 

22. Your hair stays put

 

23. If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

 

more later, I have to go out now. PS Mr ABC, I wouldn't EVER use a Tampon, NEVER. ACK

hey..men give birth too.:(

 

13. you can get really drunk and still have sex ..whether you like it or not..heh heh heh..:eek: sorry,im being stupid

 

i was GODZILLA on 12oz...got me there.

 

but i can still piss anywhere i want...

 

men are better cooks

 

our dicks dont smell like old tuna...

 

you wonder why our piss smells?...its cause the fumes dont stick our ass.hahaha sitters

 

guys dont hate each other like most girls do

 

when we cry....we're heroic....but i can see where too much crying is annoying to you evil bitches

 

guys are a step up the evolutionary chart.

 

we dont wake up lookin ugly in the morning..hee hee

ahhhhh............ its great to be a man.:king:

Originally posted by willy.wonka

 

guys are a step up the evolutionary chart.

 

 

sorry to have to bring out the serious shit, but that just isn't true.

 

There are always more women in a given population - because from an evolutionary point of veiw, females are more important. Fewer men are needed to keep a popultaion going.

Women have more connections between the two sides of their brains, and are better at doing multiple tasks at once.

Women can live longer on less water and food than men, and endure more pain.

Womens digestive systems are far more developed than mens, this is to ensure that the most nutrition possible is gained from food

 

all joking aside, women are better designed from an evolutionary point of veiw. This is because they carry the young

Originally posted by willy.wonka

our dicks dont smell like old tuna...

 

 

if your girls smells like old tuna, its because she is unclean, not because she is female......

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

 

if your girls smells like old tuna, its because she is unclean, not because she is female......

 

ahhh ha!

Re: Reasons its great to be female

 

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

sorry, I would have posted sooner but I got falling-down, throwing up drunk last night. Which brings me to my ffirst..........................

 

 

1. You can get drunk SOOOO cheaply, because of a lower capacity, and you can sucker some fool into buying it for you

drinking all night long because you have tolerance is what makes it fun.

 

3. Having given birth, if it erupts into a custody battle, you basically get the kids by default

not true anymore...more likely to be joint custody

 

4. You have a much higher pain threshold

this is simply false...where the hell did you come up with this ridiculous idea?

 

6. You don't have to get involved in the Whoever Dies With The Most Stuff Wins competion

we like competition

 

8. Nobody sees the punch coming...................

but at least it doesn't hurt

 

11. You don't have to get involved in the constant dick measuring, ie cars, bike, tvs, sound systems, girls shagged, weight lifted, etc..

once again, we like competition

 

12. You can fake an orgasm

we can fake them also...especially if you are using a condom.

but there is absolutely no reason to ever fake an orgasm because if i don't have one, you need to know.

 

13. you can get really drunk and still have sex

sure, but you suck at it

 

14. You appearance is your playground

um...sounds like a negative to me

 

16. Your sexual peak is much later. I think I would kill myself at 20 if my sexual peak was at 18

male sexual peak is not 18. it's 18 until mid 20s and with a healthy sexual life we will actively continue into our 30s.

 

17. You don't have to buy everything with the word "TURBO" on it

oh, i get it...that one's a joke.

 

18. You know how to open a bra

don't have to know...just tear'em off.

 

19. You aren't to proud to ask for directions

ok, you win on this one.

 

20. You don't feel compelled to say you know how to fix major appliances

i know, i don't feel compelled to say i know how to fix major appliances.

 

21. Having killed your own food, you also know how to cook it...............

some of the best chefs in the world are men

 

22. Your hair stays put

who cares.

 

23. If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

who cares.

 

*all in fun :P

bodice won*********************she"s right about women being better designed>>

and if you are a girl like this, you and i can be friends..

 

Originally posted by Mr. ABC

 

 

All these reasons apply to me..and i'm definitely not a man

 

22. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

 

23. You can open all your own jars.

 

24. Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

 

25. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

 

26. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

 

27. You can kill your own food.

 

 

29. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

 

30. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

 

 

32. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

 

33. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

 

34. You don't have to clean your apartment if the electricity meter reader is coming.

 

35. You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

 

36. You don't mooch off other's desserts.

 

37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

 

38. IF another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

 

39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

 

40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 

41. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

 

42. A few grey hairs give us character, and don't result in a lifelong obsession to find the perfect hair colour.

 

43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 

46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

 

47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

 

 

49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

 

if your girls smells like old tuna, its because she is unclean, not because she is female......

 

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

YEAH like Are2 said ^^^^^^

 

the only colors I have dyed my hair are bright primary ones, and I am genuinely looking forward to some grey

 

I could give a fuck less about my nails.

 

I have one pair of shoes and a pair of boots

 

 

 

KAST - The pain threshold thing is TRUE. I "got the idea" from Biology sweetheart

Re: Reasons its great to be female

 

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

 

12. You can fake an orgasm.......... why would you want to? that sounds like a bad thing to me....

 

13. you can get really drunk and still have sex............so can i.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Um...YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE...WHY TRY OR WANT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE??

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

KAST - The pain threshold thing is TRUE. I "got the idea" from Biology sweetheart

 

Bodice, maybe you should touch up on your "Biology"

 

Gender: Some Painstaking Differences (from WebMD)

 

Pain Threshold and Gender (PDF document)

 

The Puzzle of Gender and Pain

 

Pain and Gender: Is There a Difference?

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

yeah, but WHAT a pro......................;)

 

 

 

anyway, I wasn't going to muscle in on your thread with a 50 reasons its great to be female list, but now you asking for it. will post later

 

 

thats assuming that you even get an orgasm.

or if its real or not.

GENDER DIFFERENCES IN THE IMPACT OF PAIN: A COMPARISON OF THREE CHRONIC/ RECURRENT PAIN CONDITIONS

 

Linda LeResche. Michael Von Korff, Samuel Dworkin, Kathleen Saunders*, Univ of Washington Dept. of Oral Medicine, Seattle, WA 98195-6370 (USA), and Group Health Cooperative ofPuget Sound

 

Aim of Investigation: To investigate gender differences in measures of pain severity and pain impact.

 

Methods: Subjects were 574 male and 638 female back pain (BP) patients, 225 male and 554 female headache (HA) patients, and 69 male and 328 female temporo-mandibular disorder (TMD) patients making primary care visits for pain in a large health maintenance organization. Subjects reported pain intensity and interference on numeric scales; pain days, use of health care for pain and pain-related disability days in the past 6 months; and opioid use in the past month. Depression was assessed with the SCL-90.

 

Results: For all pain conditions, characteristic pain intensity was higher for women than for men (BP: 55 vs. 48; HA 57 vs. 51; TMD 52 vs. 44, all p's < .001). Women reported more days in pain than their male counterparts (BP: 88 vs. 68; HA: 57 vs. 50 -n.s.; TMD 96 vs. 73), more disability days (BP: 24 vs. 16; HA: 11 vs. 7; TMD 11 vs. 6 - n.s.), and more pain-related interference. Other impacts differed by pain site. Women with BP and HA were more likely to have elevated depression scores, but rates of depression in TMD did not differ by gender. Slightly more men than women with BP and TMD were unemployed, whereas unemployment in HA patients was significantly higher for women than for men. Use of opioids and health care did not differ by gender for any of the conditions.

 

Conclusions: Women are generally more severely impacted by pain than men, but patterns of pain impact differ somewhat by clinical condition.

 

Acknowledgments: Supported by N1H Grant No. DE08773 (USA).

yeah, its seems the jury is out, hon

 

http://www.psy.aau.dk/bobby/proallan.htm

 

http://www1.od.nih.gov/painresearch/gender.../rfillingim.htm

 

http://www.sonic.net/cnds/paingender1.html

 

 

 

"Females tend to have greater taste preferences, greater odor detection, higher visual acuity and increased locomotor activity than do males. Estrogen tends to enhance these sex differences"

 

Thats for whoever it was who told me that girls DON'T see differently than men.

Originally posted by bodice_ripper

YKAST - The pain threshold thing is TRUE. I "got the idea" from Biology sweetheart

 

pure crap. lets play a game then.. i'll punch you in the face, and then you can punch me in the face and we'll see who hurts more.

 

case in point - Hockey player gets hit in the face with a puck. Does he go crying to the dressing room? No. He will go back to the bench and get the doc to stich him back up on the spot with no freezing.

 

I've seen a couple pregnancies as well and you know what? It looked like they were in "a little" pain.. sheesh..

Originally posted by dukeofyork

 

 

thats assuming that you even get an orgasm.

or if its real or not.

 

of course I do. i don't sleep with men :crazy:

i laughed so much while reading this, i wet myself:o

Originally posted by bigpoppa.k

 

pure crap. lets play a game then.. i'll punch you in the face, and then you can punch me in the face and we'll see who hurts more.

 

case in point - Hockey player gets hit in the face with a puck. Does he go crying to the dressing room? No. He will go back to the bench and get the doc to stich him back up on the spot with no freezing.

 

 

nothing like a tough guy who thinks its cool to threaten girls on the internet, eh?

 

as for you case in point. girl hockey players MUST wear a full cage over their faces. They have no choice. They also can't body check......the players don't want it that way, but society seems to have some strange ideas about women...........................

 

 

 

tell you what, I'll punch YOU first, and we'll see if you manage to punch me at all. see how pointless this sort of thing on the internet is..?