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15 mistakes guys make during sex.....

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by DETO, Jun 12, 2002.

  1. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    what do you guys think of this a girl friend of mine sent to me.
    15 MISTAKES GUYS MAKE DURING SEX
    1) COMPLAINING
    Guys like it when girls show off their nice ass. So, why do guys
    complain when a girl is wearing tight pants? As long as they can get their
    pants off, I really don't see a problem. You know you'r gonna get SOME, so
    just chill out and savor each second.



    2)WHEN GIRLS GO DOWN HALF-WAY
    Guys try to force a girls head down when she's simply trying to tease the
    guy. You know...get MR.HAPPY all the way up before she has to try and suck on
    MR.LIMP


    3)CHOCKING THE CHICKEN
    Why do guys make girls do this 4 them? He can do this at home whenever
    he's NOT getting any, not when he's about to get the real deal! Remember
    guys.... it brings absolutely NO pleasure to us females and we do get bored
    with jerking you guys off



    4)HAIR PULLING
    Yes, it's true that some females like a little bit of pain, but not when your
    ripping the hair out of her head! Take it easy.



    5)PANTING
    During sex we females know that guys do get tired, and we can totally
    understand this, but why do guys pant like dogs??? Not very attractive!



    6)MINUTE MAN
    Guys that cannot last for more than 10 minutes. This really disappoints
    females. Girls need pleasure too! Otherwise, we'll just forget about sex and
    stick w/ foreplay!



    7)GUYS GOING DOWN

    What's up with the guys eating the hole? Don't they know that the hole does
    not bring pleasure and it's the clit. that does? There's really no point for
    a guy to go down at all if he's gonna play around w/ the hole. That's like a
    girl playing w/ your pubic hair(not a turn on)



    8)FINGERING
    Remember guys, that even though some females do finger themselves, they
    have smaller fingers then you. Don't jam your fingers up there. Maybe you
    could start off w/ one finger and then slip in another one when she gets
    looser. And don't just move it in and out...you have to have rhythm...She'll
    thank you ,you'll know by her constant breathing (panting) and her withering
    body convulsing next to yours.



    9)WHEN GIRLS TAKE THE RIDE

    Don't complain that a girl is ridding to hard. In fact, don't say
    anything. Just relax cuz she's doing you a favor and she's doing all the work!



    10)CUM

    Some girls are loud when they cum, I know this. But, some girls have to fake
    all of the noises because 1) she's not feeling any pleasure and she doesn't
    want the guy to think that he can't work it (which is actually true)





    11) KEEPING FRESH

    We all know that guys like sports, but do they have to come over after
    they just got done playing a game and want sex, or even worse...oral sex? You
    guys Better go freshin up before expecting anything!



    12)ACNE

    We all know that everyone has acne, but can't you guys try to prevent it
    on your back? Girls are really turned off when a guy is on top and has to
    worry about grabbing onto her man's back that is full of nasty pimples!



    13)"TO SPIT OR TO SWALLOW?, THAT IS THE QUESTION"

    Don't get mad if a girl does neither. I mean, a guy's sperm doesn't taste
    good. In fact, it's repulsive. Forgive her if she finishes the job by hand.
    ;If she does spit, be happy enough w/ that.;If she swallows....YOU SHOULD
    REALLY LOVE HER! That was really hard for her, I'm sure!



    14)TALKIN $HIT

    Girls don't like it when a guy tells all of his friends that he
    got laid
    last night& when you guys weremaking love & quot;(as you said
    that night to the female)



    15)BORING

    Guys tend to do it the same way every time. Try experimenting w/
    different positions every now and then. It couldn't hurt!
     
  2. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    if you dont know what to do with a woman... find one who will tell you bluntly.
     
  3. mizx

    mizx New Jack

    Joined: Aug 30, 2001 Messages: 22 Likes Received: 0
  4. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    and that list is pretty stupid...
    Whoever wrote it really doesn't deserve to get any.
    Bad humour isn't lways better than no humour.
     
  5. buttercup

    buttercup New Jack

    Joined: Feb 19, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    While I agree that jerking a guy off is about as interesting as patting a dog that just won't go away - that list is just piss-boring. Like all the stupid "men VS women" lists/toptens etc, its just a parade of cliched and hackneyed pseudo statements. snore
     
  6. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
    thats the plan.
     
  7. 16)YELLING THE WRONG NAME

    17)PUTTING IT IN HER EAR OR BELLYBUTTON
     
  8. dai

    dai Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 30, 2001 Messages: 1,052 Likes Received: 0
    then stop bitching about us fucking too hard! and stop complaining! if you total up the sex life in a relationship, the male is doing 97% percent of the work...the other 3 percent consists of shitty rides and the occasional blowjob...and why can't girls suck our dicks if we go down on them like every other time we're together? and if you start something, finish it! don't suck our dicks for like 5 minutes, and then just stop...that's fucked up...you wouldn't like it if we did it to you!
     
  9. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    whiny ass bitches......
     
  10. buttercup

    buttercup New Jack

    Joined: Feb 19, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    Re: Re: 15 mistakes guys make during sex.....


    maybe *someone* is just in a shit relationship, hmmmm?:rolleyes:
     
  11. Wilt

    Wilt Guest

    any guy who makes those mistakes.....is a moron...especially if he falls under all of them...and the back acne thing is retarded...my back is clear..but if it wasn't...how the FUCK am i supposed to stop that?how is that a sex mistake?like OOPS ive got a problem i cant even reach...what a sex faux pas...i hope your friend is murdered by means of bludgeoning.1000 posts like what!
     
  12. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    this is the zesto school on fair oral sex...

    the number of orgasms should be equal.. not the time involved.
    Mostly because If I get 20 minutes of credit...
    I could cash in segemnts and last all week long!
     
  13. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    last night i gave my girl head and it took her about 15 min to cum:crazy: . it only took me 5 but she started by giving me a hand job, but if it's just head it could take hours. :crazy:
     
  14. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    DETO: number one in New Mexico, top 3 in the nation, top 10 in the world.
    :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king: :king:
     
  15. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    ^ I thought you didn't have a girl!

    you shouldn't be telling all your drama in one thread,
    then talking about sez with her in the next one.

    The case gets more confusing.
     
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